People are absolute twats.
When it happened to me I was actually on another forum (where I started out in the wedding planning bit, and then when that all went to shit moved to the other forums) and posted about my situation and the endless kindness, understanding and support I got was unreal. I actually made lifelong friends that way, not one person was shitty to me - even when I probably harped on about it way past the point when people would be thinking ‘are we not over this yet’.
I fucking DREAD to think about what would have happened if mumsnet was where I came to for support - well this version of mumsnet anyway I believe it used to be nicer once upon a time.
Only dicks could read this post and think ‘hmm, here’s a woman who has been cheated on and betrayed by the man she loved, had to cancel a wedding she’d clearly put money and time and love into organising, who has had to stay home knowing lots of her close friends are off enjoying what should have been her wedding, who should be on her honeymoon now and is probably still sorting out the ramifications of cancelling a wedding, ending a long term relationship and dividing up belongings etc, and now her best friend is getting everything she’s lost - I know I’ll tell her what a dick she is, that’ll be fun’. That or people who have never had a proper friend in their life.
It’s the wilful obtuse replies that make me want to scream - ‘what was she supposed to do, tell him to ask her another day’. Well I can think of plenty of other options other than getting engaged on the actual day your best friend was supposed to get married, in the place she was supposed to get married, and then tell her about it the same day via FaceTime. It’s unusual for a woman these days to have NO idea their partner is planning to propose, so if I had an inkling I’d probably make a big noise to my partner about what a hard day it must be for best friend, how I was going to check in with her, how we’ve all got to be a bit sensitive for the next couple of days. If we DID get engaged I’d probably keep it to myself for a day or two, or till we’re back at home - tell my family back home in confidence maybe. And fudge the date when telling my heartbroken best friend about it.
@Doghouse1g1 if youre still reading at all, I’d hide or delete the thread and maybe try again in relationships. See my previous point about how we all behaved when we went on a holiday that was going to be a wedding that got cancelled - there were over 30 of us there and everyone acted with tact and sensitivity and we were all very aware of what the date was. As would normal people - mumsnet, and particularly this section of it - is not representative of how most people think about these things. I’m still ‘that poor girl’ to a large proportion of people who knew what happened to me and we’re coming up to 20 years later 😂 Honestly anyone with any empathy doesn’t think youre being ridiculous and most people in real life would completely understand why you found it hard.