Bridesmaid got engaged on my wedding day...

Not your wedding day.

If you're still so sensitive about it 4 months later, think about having some therapy. You had a lucky escape.

She did wait a day to tell her

I really disagree with the other posters. Having to cancel a wedding with four months to go because of a cheating partner is a horrible experience and the only reason she should have called on what would have been your wedding day is to check in on how you’re doing. She should have had the basic empathy to hold off on her news until at least a few days later

Why on earth is this an issue? It is not het fault your bf cheated

If you were actually getting married then yes it was a dick move.

however it was just a nice holiday. Getting engaged on holiday is not unusual.

I can only imagine what a tough day it was for you, sending you a hug. I think you’re justified in feeling hurt.

But your bridesmaid didn’t ask to be proposed to, and I’m sure you’d have been thrilled for her had it been a different place and time. She has been insensitive in breaking the news to you in the way she has. I’m sure in her shoes I’d have said “I’d love to marry you, and my answer is ‘yes’ but I think we should get officially engaged somewhere else because after all, this should have been best friend’s wedding day/location and I don’t want to rub her nose in it”.

I wouldn’t fall out with her, but I would share your feelings with her sensitively.

It WASNT your wedding day and therefore your friend WASNT a bridesmaid! Its just a random Saturday night of their holiday!!

Your being U and making this all about you. Its really not.

Wow, that was I’m sure an instinctive reaction from you but…also pretty mean. It’s not your day, even if it was your wedding day, other people are still entitled to do whatever the fuck they want.

Quite shocked you made this about your feelings actually. Just act happy for her and quietly be sad about it to yourself for a bit.

Too right!

It wasn't your wedding day.
Her life doesn't stop because you didn't get married.
Her boyfriend proposed and she said yes, timing wasn't her choice.

Sorry your ex was a dickhead, but life goes on.

I think she should have waited a day to FaceTime you. You didn’t need to know on Saturday.

but overall you are unreasonable. She can’t help getting proposed to in a beautiful place.

I think she was a little insensitive in how she announced it maybe. It wouldn’t take a genius to work out that you might be a little upset on Saturday.
However, she’s not at all unreasonable to get engaged.

I thought you were going to say he did a speech at your wedding and proposed to her as part of that or got down on one knee in the middle of your first dance or something similar!!
You are clearly hurting as you had to cancel your wedding but really your friend went on a nice holiday and her boyfriend took it as an opportunity to propose. It was not your wedding day.

Oh get over yourself and be spectacularly happy for your friend - she's super excited. What other days is she supposed to avoid?

And...if you want to stay friends with her, send her a massive bunch of flowers for when she gets back with a card saying sorry for being a twat and wishing her all the best.

It’s better if you stop thinking of it as your wedding day, as it wasn’t.

You’re better off without him, don’t lose friends over him too.

Although it was no longer your wedding day she was either dammed if she told you he had proposed there or dammed if she didn't when everyone would know.

I am sure what makes it hard for you is that it was supposed to be your wedding day and you aren't at the stage you thought you would be in life now whereas she seems to be.

The reality is you dodged a massive bullet by not marrying a cheating twat!

File the emotion of that's a bit off and be happy for her.

Your wedding day?

If I'd paid good money for a non-event, I'd be making the best of it too. At least something good came of the day.

You shouldn't have posted in AIBU, OP. The default here is to tell you you must be wrong, weird, oversensitive, etc.

IRL, anyone with an ounce of class and empathy would demonstrate more tact and sensitivity than the bridesmaid has.

Be happy for her. After all, she was happy to pay a lot of money to attend your wedding overseas. You should be glad that your friends didn't lose that money and decided to go to Italy, anyway.

And, feel relieved that you discovered the other women your ex had been seeing before you married.

It’s not your wedding day. Forget everything to do with your loser ex. Celebrate your friend’s happiness.

Your title doesn’t match what happened.

It wasn’t your wedding day!

Your friend should have shown more tact in how she told you. She didn’t need to FaceTime you to tell you this news given it was meant to have been your wedding day. She could have sent you a brief message to update you so you could collect your thoughts and respond when you were ready, there’s plenty of people who could have been able to take that call to celebrate the news in that moment and it shouldn’t have been you.

Im sorry for what you’ve been through OP. Well done for leaving the cheat before marriage- it would have only gotten harder.

It’s a bit insensitive but was also the perfect opportunity for him to propose I guess. Just be happy for her and let it go.

"How do i move past this?"

Get over yourself.

Stop being weird because her boyfriend was a bit insensitive.

It wasn't your wedding day.

I think a bit of both. I think she could have been more sensitive in the way she broke the news given the circumstances. But I also think it probably didn't feel like your wedding day to the party that went away, to them it had just become a holiday.