Bridesmaid got engaged on my wedding day...

These kinds of announcements tend to reach people no matter when and how they’re shared. A pregnancy can be announced privately or publicly, but it doesn’t change the fact it’s still happening. It’s how people react that might be different.

Some people have never been pregnant, but can still be “jealous” of their friends or others if it doesn’t happen to them as fast. For example, friends trying to conceive at the same time. If one person gets pregnant and the other doesn't, it can bring up a lot of issues if the “due date” is close. But that is no one’s fault, it’s just how life plays out. Everyone processes these things differently. Things and life will continue regardless

I disagree. The OP needed a reality check.

I think she posted & ran cause everyone kept giving out to her…
It wasn’t nice to see actually ….
People can be very cruel on Mumsnet …

It’s very insensitive (ridiculously lacking in self-awareness) to propose on a trip that was specifically booked for someone’s now-cancelled wedding to take place but that’s on your friend’s fiance, not your friend. She should’ve acknowledged the news was happy but the timing would be difficult for you.

Yes I agree, losing a baby is of course much sadder. My comment was more in relation to not acknowledging the grief that she would be experiencing and then re-experiencing due to the announcement.

actually, if you search this OP's posting history there are 3 posts total.

One in January claiming they broke up with their Ex in June last year. Thats a really quick time from single in january to cancelling an Italian wedding in... checks calendar ....February.

One 'posting for a friend'

and neither have any other posts other than the OP.

I dont think us being 'mean' is why they haven't come back.

she didn't tell her on the day. the proposal was on the day. She called her on the sunday to tell her.

personally i'd rather my friend told me asap rather than me find out via social media/someone else in the party blabbing it.

We don't actually know that the Bridesmaid didn't call the OP on the day of the actual wedding and then this happened later in the day/that evening or something.

TBH, the fact the op posted and ran, i think its a questionable thread any way.

That’s actually what I meant in my previous comment. I personally wouldn’t mind, I can’t control someone’s boyfriend proposing. If I was healed enough, I’d probably have taken the trip with my friends and try to enjoy myself anyway. Even if it feels sad in the moment, I think I’d be able to find something good in the situation.

Of course, people will have different opinions, and it all depends on how someone reacts to these things. I’ve never been the type to get angry over things like this, but maybe it would feel like crossing a line if it were an actual wedding.

I know four months might seem like a long time from the outside, but when you're the one going through it, it can feel short. Unfortunately, some people do think you will move on faster than you actually do. They might give the support you need, and they might assume you're doing better than you really are.

Dates and anniversaries matter a lot to some people, while others don’t put the same weight on them. That’s why I said there’s no real right or wrong here it all comes down to perspective.

I understand what you are saying, but surely , say if it was you or me , & it was our suppose to be wedding day, & on that day , our friend/ bridesmaid is in Italy , bear in mind , there , because it’s supposed to be our wedding, & they FaceTime us to tell us of their engagement, it would sting pp , no matter how supportive they were of us the 4 months prior ..

My previous response was quoting someone else response but doesn’t seem to appear correctly.

My first comment reacted to the original post, which I find to be unreasonable. Personally I think these things can happen, and unfortunately we can’t always choose the outcome. Since she asked how to get over it, I believe it’s just that unfortunately life goes on.

People are against the friend, but realistically we don’t necessarily know how supportive the friend was throughout the following months. Some people might attach meanings to dates, some people don’t. Hence why I say there’s no right or wrong.

Basically bride cancelled her wedding 4 months ago , found out fiancé cheating, bridesmaids & others went , it was in Italy & Accomodation & flights paid , etc , etc ..
Bride didn’t mind them going at all obviously, but bridesmaid got engaged there on day her friend, ( bride) was due to get married, & she FaceTimed her with the news , brides feelings were hurt ( I’d be the same ) & felt it wasn’t a nice thing to do telling her on day that was supposed to be her wedding day …
I agree , she could have waited to tell her , only call her friend should have gotten that day was to see how she was doing & not announcing an engagement ….

You are right! What’s it about then?

😂 😂
You still don’t know what this thread is about pp !!!

I provided my opinion. No one is wrong here, therefore that’s the answer. If you paid for a trip, it’s at your discretion to go or not. And I personally wouldn’t tell anyone to cancel, considering most times you don’t get the money back

Why would it be a ‘a bit odd and a recycled wedding proposal’?

This is thread isn’t about whether everyone should have gone or not !!!

But what if the friend had already consoled her after the breakup? At the end of the day, the trip is already booked especially if it was paid for out of pocket. Why wouldn’t they still go? To me, it seems a bit unreasonable not to. I’d definitely encourage them to go and enjoy it, even if I didn’t go myself, though, honestly, I probably would’ve shown up either way.

@Doghouse1g1 I'm assuming the verdict results have helped you move past this. Good luck!

Personally, I feel you could have worded things a lot kinder ….

I think being ‘spectacularly’ happy for the friend is a bit much to ask, given the circumstance 🤦🏻‍♀️

We all know 'Get over 'it' or 'yourself' is a dismissive and insensitive comment. And imagine calling someone weird in this situation 😳
Does trying to justify what OP was asking, help? - what you wrote reads with a tone which adds insult to injury.

I think people are lacking compassion here. What a horrible thing to happen to you. I’m so sorry to hear this. I think it is a bit insensitive and odd of the boyfriend to propose on the weekend abroad which had been meant to be your wedding day. Perhaps reframe it as a bit odd and a bit of a recycled wedding proposal. But then I guess, try to be happy for her. After all she didn’t pick that time to be proposed to. Hope you’re doing ok.

I called a Wedding off because my fiance had cheated. I moved back to my hometown, started a new job and became close friends who invited me to her wedding. Which was on my cancelled wedding day, at the same church, at the time slot we'd originally wanted but was already booked! I went along, had a little sob on her shoulder at one point, but otherwise I just gritted my teeth and made the most of enjoying myself. Sorry Miss Havisham but you can't blame her!

@WhyFiddleDeDee what was your advice

@Missj25 I'm sorry about what happened to her but the question was how to react to her friend getting engaged. Yes she is going to have lots of feelings - but her reaction for her friend has to happiness! Saying 'get over it' isn't about 'get over yourself for you lying cheating boyfriend being found out and saving you years of hurt while you understandably worry about what your life is going to change into now' - but get over the fact that your friend got engaged on a day you hoped would be special for you. Be really happy for her.