Bridesmaid got engaged on my wedding day...

But it's not the same. You were happy. It was your wedding night do. Presumably, it wasn't the wedding night do of a wedding that was called off, but that went happily and successfully ahead? Why would you not be happy for your friend?

Yanbu for being upset at the timing of the phone call they should have waited and been sensitive on your wedding day

Only two people messaged me to check in on my 'should have been' wedding day

So another consequence of your unfaithful ex dp.
So the wedding party had paid big money to go somewhere on your behalf... and it was all for nothing as he couldn't keep his trousers zipped up.
At least someone got some good out of it... a romantic proposal. Get over yourself op. Be happy for her and be grateful you avoided being hitched to a wanker.

Agree, it was unnecessary. I didn't think about how cruel it was when I typed it!

You're right, it was an off the cuff comment and I didn't really think about the connotations, but it was cruel. Sorry, OP!

This is ridiculous OP. Nothing to do with you and your wedding plans. Get over yourself.

I'm calling a wind up on this one!

I feel like people are being unnecessarily harsh here, telling you to get over yourself etc. I can totally understand why this news on that day would have been so difficult for you, it was meant to be your special day and you were bound to feel full of emotions on the day, and your response was so. Try and find a way to be happy for her once you've had chance to process the news, she isnt at fault.

Ahh. I should have read the post properly.

I imagine he was planning to propose on that trip whether you were there for your wedding or not.

I’ve not read all previous replies so apologies if I’m repeating what others have said.

It wasn’t your wedding day, it would have been but as it never happened it wasn’t, that would be like saying it’s your wedding anniversary when it isn’t.

Your best friend wasn’t your bridesmaid, she would have been but as it never happened she is just your friend.

They are a group of friends on holiday, not the wedding party, where her boyfriend has proposed.

You would have been upset however you found out so rather than you hearing it off someone else she’s had the decency to phone & tell you. Rather than being pleased for her you have pretty much cut her off & ruined what should have been a happy moment for her.

Its been 4 months since you had a lucky escape, he it been in the days following you having to cancel your wedding then yes, a bit insensitive, but 4 months later?

It seems very dramatic on your part like you are trying to make it all about you?

It’s insensitive and you’re entitled to feel hurt. The boyfriend obviously knew the significance of the date as I presume he was going to your wedding with your best friend, so he’s a bit of a thoughtless knob really.

I think if friend had posted "I'm stuck with a holiday to a romantic destination after my best friend's wedding was cancelled, should I go with BF anyway. There's a possibility he might propose on the weekend of the planned wedding and I'll be away over a weekend she might need support". She'd have been told to go and have a lovely time.

You're being unreasonable to make her feel bad that her b/f proposed yes

People are being really harsh, OP. Of course you were thinking about your wedding on that day, and it must’ve been hard, knowing that your friends were in Italy too for what should have been your day. Of course it’s completely understandable they went on the trip, but I can very much imagine how that weekend would’ve been very sensitive to you. I think I probably would’ve hid my feelings from the bridesmaid because I think she was just being a bit insensitive rather than mean. But your feelings are completely valid, of course they are. I hope you’re OK.

All of this.

You didn't have a wedding day. Because your ex is an arsehole. It has nothing to do with your friend at all.

I imagine they had no idea it was the date you were due to marry. Plus they were on holiday! It’s hardly like it was done on purpose.

She’s allowed her moment of excitement.

Great that they manage to salvage something from the money they had spent (wasted) on your wedding!

Ouch. Really unnecessary.

Hardly the same.

I'd say it was you being weird if you can't understand why the OP would at least find it hard.

Presumably he would have proposed to her on a different beach on a different day, if they hadn't already spent the money.

Like it or not that fact that this was planned as a destination wedding, meaning the friends were stuck with a holiday they'd paid for, on the day the wedding should have taken place is relevant. Probably OP's best friend wouldn't have planned a holiday and there would have been no proposal on that date otherwise.

@TravelPanic the best friend didn’t call her on the day itself . She called her the next day

it is interesting people’s opinions as I would have thought texting was a cop out and that would have upset me more than getting a call

PP have no feelings. My poor friend had to cancel her wedding also because of cheating and we, her closest friends, spent the would-have-been wedding day with her, hyping her up and distracting her. It’s a shame for you that your closest friends went to the wedding venue without you but that’s one of the issues with abroad weddings - you couldn’t have expected them to lose the money.

but your friend was very very insensitive to call you with the news on that day. She should have been calling to check you were ok and sent you flowers / chocolates to say how sorry she was that the wedding wasn’t going ahead. Instead she rubbed your face in her own happiness. Really not kind, classy or sensitive.

yes she can’t help being engaged, but she could have saved telling you for when she got back and done it sensitively via text so you had time to compose yourself and be happy for her.

so sorry your fiance turned about to be a dick and huge well done on getting rid of him before the wedding. That must have been really hard and I hope you find a lovely man as you deserve.

You sound bonkers.

It’s not about lying it’s about having the emotional maturity to recognise that this was always going to be a difficult weekend for the op. Compounding it with a ‘best friends’ proposal and expecting the op to be gleefully congratulating her is a step too far.

Nobody needs anything tattooing on their head. The bf of the friend presumably knew the reason they were there. Unless he’s incredibly dense, very thoughtless or a combination of both he should have realised it would put his partner in a bit of an awkward position. Presumably he didn’t care. But of course op is the selfish one.