Bridesmaid got engaged on my wedding day...

1. you created a situation where your friends had to spend large amounts of money to attend your wedding. You could have had a local event and not reached into their pockets.
2. she can’t control that her fiancé used their holiday, that they didn’t even plan voluntarily, to propose

I get wherevuoure coming from OP. It would have been an upsetting few days for you. But itcwas outbid your friends hands. Her BF proposed and he would probably not have given it any thought whatsoever the significance of the day for you. Plus, although it might not feel like it ATM, it's nice that something nice came out of it all, and you might one day remember the day for nice reasons too.

Really insensitive of your friend. Anyone would be upset, its absolutely understandable. Im glad youre not getting married to a cheat x

In fairness, its not really her fault her partner chose then to pop the question. Surely you wouldn't have expected her to drag him off his knees hissing 'Not now Nigel! Have some respect for Doghouse!'? If it were me I'd tell myself that other people's happiness didn't make my own life any worse, and be glad the day turned out well for your friend. I know it's hard, but if you don't seperate your misfortune from other people's joy and be pleased for them without internalising it, you could end up becoming bitter, and you shouldn't let a low life cheat you're better off without do that to you.

Some of the replies are certainly in that category.

You move past this non event by remembering you're a grown up.

You did the right thing by cancelling your wedding, I hope he's dumped too, so you clearly have something about you. Don't be silly now by pissing on her parade.

Op won’t apologise because posters like you have made her feel so bad when she was already down that she has not come back.

Nothing wrong with OP’s behaviour. It’s a matter of who should have sucked up their true feelings? In my view, in good relationships the person with good news has more bandwidth to do that for the person going through a bad one, especially if it is not a massive compromise. I guess some people are perfectionist when it comes to a happy news. And those are the people expecting op to suck it up for the sake of her friend who in better state of mind.

It’s not your wedding day but surely a decent friend would recognise that the day would be hard for you. The news could have waited and been delivered more sensitively.

I haven’t read all the replies as the first few were just bonkers enough.

No, you are not being unreasonable.

I don’t get what some people mean by it wasn’t your wedding day. Well, exactly, that’s the point. I actually think it would have been less bad if this had been done at your wedding. That would gave just been unthinking. This was hurtful.

I really wouldn't care, they were in their perfect setting.

100 % agree.
Given the preparation and emotions around weddings, and the devastating reason for this no longer being your wedding day, I really feel for you OP.
There have been some ridiculously heartless responses on this thread.
"Get over yourself" indeed! 😡

It wasn’t your wedding day.

Surely you’d remember that the reason you’re in Italy in the first place is because you were meant to be at a wedding there 😂

To be honest I would be pissed off if I were the friend. He could have chosen any other day of the year but picked one that was meant to be her best friends wedding day. I would have felt incredibly awkward about that and it would have played on my mind, taking the shine off the proposal.

I’m sure they were there for more than one day, so he could’ve picked a different day to propose! If I was the friend, I think I’d be pointing out to him that I wish he had done it on a different date, not what should’ve been my best mates wedding day.

You would have forgotten what date it was supposed to be even though you are in Italy on a much anticipated, long-planned weekend booked for the express purpose of your best friend's wedding day? The friend who is not there but back home because that wedding was cancelled?

You're no friend.

I disagree with almost everyone. Your mate is spectacularly insensitive. It would absolutely have been a hard time for you. My heart goes out to you x

If a friend of mine cancelled a wedding 4 months ago, I'd probably have forgotten what date is was supposed to be - it's just not the sort of thing I remember. And if my boyfriend had proposed to me on that date, was I supposed to say, 'Today's not a good day to ask - ask me next week instead'?

One of your closest friends (I assume as she was going to be a bridesmaid) has got engaged while on holiday.

It wasn't your wedding day. It's just a date and they are just on holiday.

Obviously a difficult day for you as it reminds you about your ex did to you, but the rest of the world keeps turning and you have really pissed all over your good friends news, made it all about you and unreasonably made her feel shite. Something she will find difficult to forget. You owe her a genuine apology, make sure it is not a "I'm sorry, but......." type one.

I can understand that it hurts but that was her boyfriend's decision to propose, nothing to do with her.

People are being bloody harsh. This was insensitive of them at the very least. It's not 'weird' to find it hurtful. I bet if those posters were on OP's shoes they might suddenly comprehend that

Oh no, Trendyname. Apparently, OP's feelings are NOT as valid as her friend's. She needs to suck it up and smile like a gummy bear and not be a bad, selfish friend with totally acceptable normal human feelings.

It’s a bit of a red flag that you say you were “fine with” other people going on the trip that they’d paid for, like you’re being oh so gracious about it!

You are obviously going to be upset in what should have been your wedding day but if your friend has been a good friend for a long time - just be happy for her. The date of engagement really isn’t a big deal. I’ve been married a long time and couldn’t tell you the date of our engagement.

Sorry you had to go through this op... horrendous for you x

Ps people who are being nasty have probably never had the heartbreak of jilting