Bridesmaid got engaged on my wedding day...

You must feel so smug to be so angelic. 🙄

Say congratulations

Life goes on. We all have things that hurt us but it shouldn't be that we piss all over someone else's parade because life didn't turn out that way for us.

I've not been able to conceive. Tried for a long time and yes it absolutely hurts. But do I tell people when they announce their pregnancy news not to tell me because I cannot? Do I lash out at family members for their beautiful news because my life didn't turn out the way I wished?
There is having empathy for people and then there are people who make everything about themselves and I do not have the time for it.

She's outrageously out of order. Her friend is allowed to have happy news too!

My brother committed suicide on a certain date, shall I tell my friend not to have her birthday on that day because it's hard for me each year? No I bloody wouldn't.

Because empathy goes beyond just feeling sorry for yourself and expecting the world to stop because it does not. It goes on with or without you. Your grief is yours and people won't understand it. Only you can feel that way but to expect everyone else to walk on egg shells is tediously ridiculous.

Sorry but it wasn’t your wedding day, that’s so misleading in your title.
Her boyfriend could be seen as a bit insensitive but they’ve paid lots for their holiday to a beautiful place, really why shouldn’t he propose?

Im sure you’re still really hurt and shocked by your ex’s behaviour and I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, but life does go on and you have to accept that your cancelled non existent wedding won’t be at the front of everyone’s minds.

sorry about what happened op maybe she wanted you to know before you read in online

she cant be blamed on what day it happened as she wouldnt have known he was going to propose

With a friend like you who needs an enemy!!

Absolutely this

Sometimes I don't think AIBUers live in the real world.

I'd be delighted if my bridesmaid got engaged on my wedding day, I'd be happy to share the joy and it would make it even more special but this situation? No. Absolutely not!

It's so incredibly insensitive. I know it's not your friends fault but she should have had a little more tact when telling you.

This is AIBU though so even if your bridesmaid murdered your puppy you'd still be told you were being unreasonable by the mob on here, you can never win on here.

So if someone disagrees with you, they must be 'batshit'? I think that reasoning is... er... batshit?

It comes over harsh because the way you are talking is harsh. Your friend has no choice but she still should be tolerated by her friend for feeling the way she is feeling, not judged - you have no choice.

People like you are fair weather friends.

Her friend could’ve waited to tell op. No one said she should have declined the proposal. She even told op how she was proposed - in a beach.

Anyways, we all are wasting time here, op was smart to leave this thread long back. Op does not deserve to be kicked like this for feeling her friend could have been a bit sensitive to her.

It was thoughtless of her fiance to pick that particular day, but I don't think she could have refused him for that reason.

Sorry you're having a very difficult time

oh how wrong you are. And she wasn't jilted, she was cheated on.

ftr, for those asking if i'd say that to people in RL, yes, i do, and i have, and i did last night to a friend who phoned me at 1.30am this morning in tears over a break up with their cheating ass ex of 5 years.

"I don't how i'm going to get over it"
"In the nicest possible way lovely, you don't have any other choice than to get over it, because you have to get on with your life, and they don't deserve your tears or heartache"

It does come over as harsh on here because there is very little sentiment behind words on a screen.

Hasn't put any of my friends off reaching out to me for support and advice though

I get that she was sad, but her friend did nothing wrong. And yes, you are right, it sucks it was done on that date, but not everything is about you and sometimes you just need to suck it up and be happy for others. Perhaps the friend was not thinking about the date and did not realize. Also, if I was the person that had to cancel the wedding, I would have felt bad for all those people that had paid for flights and hotel....not just thinking about myself and my own sorrows. I would have been happy that my friend at least had something positive come from it.

Personally I think the friend's boyfriend played a blinder here. They were going to a beautiful wedding location, the main reason they were initially going for is no longer happening so...why not use the opportunity to propose? Very little thought or effort required on his part to set up a romantic proposal, it was already there.

I can understand why OP feels sore, I probably would too. I'm sure when the dust has settled she'll feel better and happy to celebrate with her friend.

You lost me when you address the population of MN as "Girls". You are not living in an episode of Sex & the City.
Your friend cannot control the date that her partner proposed.

I thought she got engaged at your wedding! Which happens but is very poor form.
Would you have been hurt if she hadn’t told you? Or told you later on? Maybe she should have waited a bit as the weekend must have felt pretty raw for you.

Me three.

This has really brought out the Batshit Brigade..

Me too. I can’t believe how brutal people have been, and I’m certain if the engaged friend posted saying her friend was being pathetic, she’d be rightly ripped apart.

Given the way most of these posters have spoken to the op, delighted to kick her when she’s already down, I’m very happy not to be part of that 86%.

It was not your wedding. It was their holiday.

Think you need to apologise to your friend.

Of course you’d be pissed off. You’d also be the type to choose a destination wedding and dictate friends spend a huge sum of money and time in your event. And then after the event is cancelled and your friends are unable to recoup money or change to a destination if their choosing you’d get cross when they try and continue with their life plans and make the best of it.

Yup you’re not entitled in the slightest and the 86% of ppl that chose YABU are in the wrong 🙄

I can easily believe that the friend's fiance forgot about the wedding date - or that it didn't strike him as being important enough to avoid it. Even if I remembered the date, I honestly wouldn't expect someone to be upset that I'd been proposed to on that date. These things matter more to some people than to others.

Your friend was insensitive. Not everyone has the same level of emotional intelligence.it wasn’t malicious and you will probably feel less raw about it as time passes.