Childhood obesity

I wouldn’t say he’s lucky to not have had the effects. He might not be overweight but he’s probably not healthy. And as you’ve said both you and your husband are overweight, I think it’s unlikely that the combination of genes, lack of exercise and crap diet will keep him slim.

The something else is poor food culture and lack of cooking knowledge.

I grew up in a deprived immigrant area. No child was fat. Because they ate lentils, veg and fish.Didn't eat processed food.

Lack of education.

I was obese as a child and my Mum would swear I ate healthy. To be fair we didn’t eat junk. No chicken nuggets, burgers or other beige foods. Everything was home cooked but my portions were HUGE. I wasn’t allowed to leave the table until my plate had been cleared- this mindset also definitely contributed towards me developing an eating disorder.

We bleat on about healthy foods but some people still have no awareness of portion sizes and how many calories are in food. Just because it’s not frozen doesn’t mean a 6 year old can have a huge portion of pasta with seconds because they have a “healthy appetite”.

It's hard to tell. Both of mine are really skinny in comparison to their peers, but look exactly like their Asian dad when he was their age, so it's genetic. On the other hand I've been told that the favourite food of the most of the class is McDonalds'... people in general were much more lean 50 years ago - I think it's mostly due to the culture of snacking. It was not there when I was a kid and we only had sweets at Christmas.

Totally agree. It’s bizarre to read a parent so very aware of the unhealthiness but seemingly completely unwilling to do anything about their child’s health.

One of my three children is overweight despite my best efforts to combat this. She doesn't have a sweet tooth but loves crisps and cheese, which I limit. She drinks only water and milk and I cook from scratch 90% of the time. takeaways are a rare occurrence. We walk to and from school each day, she plays team sports weekly and and swim regularly. Her dad is a 'big build' as are his siblings and parents and we joke that he puts half a stone on just by looking at a mars bar. Genetics have a bigger influence in my daughters case I think.

It's not all about cheap food.

It's about too much of it and lack of exercise.

Food poverty has always existed, but such a huge amount of childhood obesity hasn't.

Constant snacking, games consoles, tonnes of TV channels and kids no longer being allowed to play out all day is why we have an obesity problem imo.

So many parents moaning about the 'tiny' portions when their kids have school dinners - they're not, they're a child suitable portion.

But you should see some of the banquets brought in when they take their own lunch.

Dirt poor immigrant areas don't have obesity afaik.
Why is that?

From your OP he doesn't eat big meals and does move around a bit at playtime so may be eating about the right quantity of calories, even if half of it is utter crap.

Imagine the same child but -
loves their food, eats seconds of everything;
lives in a home where everything is cooked in ghee or butter;
not interested in running around at breaktime/no space for it.

Their weight may increase slowly, but it'll be increasing and over a year you'll notice it.

I'd echo what others wrote though, whether you want advice or not - you seem to have a clear understanding of how you all eat and move. You are shoring up some potentially serious problems for your family. You'd do really well to think of a few very simple changes you could make to benefit you all, and implement them. One walk instead of drive to school a week? One breakfast of porridge? One walk together somewhere on the weekend? One idea for a treat that isn't food? A dessert of something other than chocolate?

Why on earth are you concerned about anyone else right now? You need to turn things around with your son ASAP.

In my opinion, allowing a child to eat absolute shit and sit on a screen all day, all whilst doing 0 exercise is child neglect.

Of course children in deprived areas are more prone to obeisty.

Buying 10 frozen items in iceland for £10 and feed you kids for 5 days is much cheaper than making fresh every day.

The kids in deprived areas dont have access to sporting hobbies outside of school clubs and PE. Children in more affluent areas have gymnastics, dance, football, tennis etc.

They dont have the area around them for safe outdoor play. The grey tarmacd park in the middle of a council estate with young adults smoking weed of injecting harder drugs isnt the same as the lovely parks surrended by fields woods and greenery other children get to go to.

One family maybe be able to afford day trips to theme parks, zoos and iceskating, bowling etc, 2 weeks holidays spent in pools and exploring the towns and culture where they go. The other family may only be able to afford to treat their child with an ice cream once a week.

I think a social factor that is causing more child obesity is that parents are not being strict enough when kids are young to teach them to make healthy choices.

And the onus is on making healthy choices - not being 'slim' or making the focus on how our bodies look.

I have 2 boys (5 and 8) who, like most other kids, would much prefer to watch a screen than play out, and who love chocolate/sweets/beige food. The things I do to encourage them to be healthier are:

1. Limit snacking. If no snacks are allowed, they will be hungrier at mealtimes and eat more of what is offered (recommend the book "French Children Don't Throw Food"). If they refuse to eat dinner, they can have fruit, bread and butter, or nothing.
2. No choc/sweets during the week. Yoghurt or fruit for dessert Mon-Thurs and then on the weekends, sweets if we have a film night, or an ice cream if we go out etc.
3. No xbox/tablets during the week. They can watch TV only after school. Not food-related but health related as it lessens their addiction to screens.
4. Take them for a walk/outdoor activity, every day if possible. We have endless arguments of 'not wanting to go,' but we don't give in, and take them for a walk in nature, local playgrounds, woods. Once they are out there they enjoy it, and their stamina has gotten much better. Also provides opportunities to talk to them and find out about their lives.
5. Encourage them to participate in a sport. We have tried rugby tots/swimming/football all without success, and now finally our ND 8 year old is interested in attending cricket club. Our littlest likes swimming so this will be his 'sport.' Encouraging sport not only keeps them healthy but helps in later life with their mental health and to make friends.

I see a lot of posts on social media (particularly from mums of little girls) who post lots of 'body positivity' stuff for their overweight kids. I get it - as a millennial woman, I wouldn't want my kids growing up and being taught to hate their bodies as we did, but I also want my kids to learn how to make healthy choices as in spite of body positivity activism, it is likely they will struggle later in life if they are overweight, whether this is not being able to be as active as your peers, or physical or mental health problems.

IMO, the best thing we can do for our kids is teach them to be confident, teach them to love their bodies, yes, but also teach them how to make healthy choices.

I also find, again, school to be a massive issue with the lack of physical activity. My daughter's school is horrendous for this and I've raised it with the local authority. They get PE twice a week and it's not taken seriously at all - they don't do any kind of actual sport or exert themselves at all, and it's taken away from them at the drop of a hat. They used to do the daily mile, they no longer do. Sports day doesn't require any physical effort. Play time is one morning break and about half an hour at lunch in a concrete hellscape, with the one bit of green space on rotation every few weeks. The school was linked to a local authority community facility that has now been taken over by a different group that has banned the school kids using it massive green field. I know there are similar issues with other schools.

Luckily my daughter is quite active outside of school but the decrease in physical activity at primary school between when I was at school and now is stark. I think this lack of physical activity is also linked to poor behaviour in schools. In fact I think it's obvious.

An interesting fact - you only grow fat cells when you're a child or teen. As an adult you don't grow anymore fat cells (unless you're very obese in which case you start to grow more). And as an adult you can't lose your fat cells. The ones you have can only get larger or smaller (this is part what makes up your baseline weight)
So if you're a skinny child with very little body fat (think sporty, muscular builds) then they will never really be able to be obese as an adult, as they simply don't have the fat cells.

which is why if you're an overweight kid it's almost impossible to be a slim adult (or at least maintain a slim build)

I live in a high obesity area. childhood obesity is a complex issue. Inactivity is a huge issue - children should be active for a minimum of 1 hour a day (across the week). Some of this will be lack of access to outdoor space be it garden or not feeling safe at their local park. Intergenerational inactivity is a huge issue and exercise is seen as something not for people like us.

This too. I am absolutely certain that lack of movement is a key issue. Exacerbated by the fact that so many parents these days are so terrified of letting their children out, that often they're at home sitting on screens way past the point at which they should be runnign around the neighbourhood. Families are either too busy to take their kids out/make them move a lot or there are socio-economic reasons or whatever. And it definitely knocks on.

It's not just sweets, it's limited nutritional literacy in general. Empty calories, high salt convenience foods etc. Parents making poor choices in what kind of food they introduce to their children - sometimes with very limited choice in the first place due to poverty. And I don't just mean financial poverty, I mean that parents are time poor as well. In a lot of households the mother doesn't cook all the time any more and fathers haven't picked up slack so they're all eating poorly.

I think people just like to point fingers at parents and leave it at that, and I think it's clear that more sedentary lifestyles and poor diet is a major factor. However it's also the case that there are other factors - eg childhood obesity has risen at the same time as children mental health problems have risen.

I also find school is a massive problem in trying to keep my daughter's diet fairly healthy - she doesn't take chocolate, sweets or crisps for her lunch and yet multiple times I've found crisp and sweet wrappers in her pockets from 'snack swapping'. Socially we have a massive focus on unhealthy food, especially linked to celebrations.

Basically I don't think it's one thing, I think it's a whirlwind of things centred around food and physical activity and the reasons for it are many and varied.

Medical conditions aside, obese children are eating more calories than they burn. That's it really. Where they get them from, be it chocolate or avocado, or how they burn them is irrelevant to weight (though obviously not to health) so there isn't going to be a special middle class reason for your DS being slimmer than disadvantaged children with poor diets. He's just ar present eating roughly the calories he needs without storing excess as fat. This can change very quickly though.

I think your son just has lucky genes. My best friend has never been to a gym in her life, survives on fast food, hates salads, but in the 30 years I have known her (since school) she has remained a size 6/8. She's now 41 and still could fit into the clothes she wore as a teen. She has very lucky genetics though as her mum and three sisters are equally petite.

It's hard because a lot of it is genetic I was skinny all the way up to 25/30 and I ate shit i actually eat significantly better now and a lot less then I did back then but am overweight. My whole family are the same males and females skinny until 25/30 then its like someone flicks a switch.

There is a lot more to health than weight. Setting up healthy habits will help with mental health, immunity, blood sugars, stored fat etc.

one of my children tends to head towards slightly overweight very easily, when I’ve noticed I reduce the snacks, increase family walks and think about portion sizes. We try to make celebrations not linked to food.

I think obesity in certain demographics has a lot about cost per calorie and accessibility and knowledge about a healthy life.

Different metabolisms.

You’re not asking for advice, but mine is to come back and update us when he’s 16.

I live in a high obesity area. childhood obesity is a complex issue. Inactivity is a huge issue - children should be active for a minimum of 1 hour a day (across the week). Some of this will be lack of access to outdoor space be it garden or not feeling safe at their local park. Intergenerational inactivity is a huge issue and exercise is seen as something not for people like us.

Access to nutritious food either through lack of ability / confidence to cook, fuel poverty, maybe not having access to utensil’s, or even ovens. Lack of knowledge about healthy eating is also an issue.

Big change also going from primary to secondary, my kids walked to primary but bus to secondary. Plus food on offer is terrible, pizza, burgers etc. kids playing out and spending money on crap food. Might also drop out of activity - especially girls. Puberty has big impact too.

I realised I pressed send without saying what my point was,

Basically, it's complicated. In our case it was a combination of additional needs, intolerances, a father who was looking after the children a lot of the time and has his own food issues AND doesn't cook/care about food. Exacerbated by the fact that while I DO know about food, cook well, etc, I am also the main breadwinner, exhausted a lot of the time and I will admit, through sheer exhaustion would often let things slide when they were younger.

In others it's about not knowing what's good and healthy.

In others its' about no tbeing able to afford it.

In others, it's genetics.

In others, it's about quality of food.

And in many many many cases, it's some combination of these and other factors.

As in my post, you’re currently watching what he eats and how much of it he eats, even if it is mostly shit he eats. Other parents will do less of that, and parents of teens have lost the ability. Those kids will be more likely to be overweight.