How often does your DIL visit/you visit your in laws?

As others have said OP you need to back off and stop using your son as a crutch to make you feel better. Your son is your child but he is also an independent person with a family of his own that he needs to give his time to. The bridges with your son and DiL may well have been completely burned now but it is something only time will tell. If you do not give them their own space though then any chance of a relationship is gone. You need to find your own life now independent of your child and once they see you are happy with your own life they may be willing to give you a second chance. You sound a little like my DGM who had a problem with her back. DGM knew the answer that she wanted so she tried umpteen doctors who all gave the same advice gentle exercise will improve it. DGM kept trying though until she found the one doctor who told her to sit at home and not move it too much. You want the same so you keep asking as you are looking for Yes Men. Sorry OP no Yes Men here.

OP will not take on board a single thing said here, and instead will be back next week under a different user name moaning about her horrible DIL again.

Your son and DIL are not responsible for you or your happiness. Your Dil has no obligation to you, she tried in the early days but your behaviour has pushed her away, I doubt she is interested in building bridges with you. They have their own lives you need to stop being a nuisance and demanding your sons time.
Gone are the days of dil's having to suck it up and put up with people out of politeness, these days we choose who we spend our time with.
I have 2 disabled friends in their 60's who lead full social lives, one is paraplegic and goes out more than I do, they are fun to be with. Stop being a burden and work on building your own life.

'They are due to move much further away'

having read several of your whinging posts since even before the wedding, I am not surprised she is willing to leave her home and move further away from you.

Until they go ' no contact ' at all, you can probably hope for a Christmas card each year with a ' family ' calendar enclosed with photos of any grandchildren taken over the year.

You would do much better to concentrate on your own daughter and not someone else's daughter.

You are being really unfair on DS and DIL, expecting more from them just because they don’t have children. Why is their time less valuable? Don’t you think they have anything to do with their spare time?

This is the same poster again! Round in circles.

Your son visits you. They have no children together. Your son moved into his wife’s home. She works from home. You have expectations of this son (and DIL) you don’t have with your other children.

Your DIL does not want a relationship with you when there isn’t one to start with. Do you nag and winge in real life like you do on here? Getting the same advice, ignoring it, then starting exactly the same thread! Always the same scenario with no acknowledgement of all the many posters who have told you the same thing before.

Your son visits you. DIL doesn’t want to and they don’t want to do lifts. It seems clear. You need to accept your son has a new part of his life and you’re not necessarily welcome to it. For whatever reason, focus on you rather than them.

That adds a whole extra layer onto this I must is missed or forgot.

So your other children are simply out not as close to you at all. All the children originally stayed with their father when you separated. He came to you when older. Now his left again basically.

Trying to cling on to him won’t stop him becoming as far away time wise or emotionally as his siblings already are to you. You just push him away.

I know my sister in law doesn't really like having my Mum to stay because she makes comments about the state of the house. My SIL works full time and the house is clean but messy. My Mum is better now, but has always been vocally critical about mess - including my own flat.
If you regularly criticize your DIL, she will avoid you.

Do you phone them as often as you phone your youngest son?

But totally reasonable for your DS and DiL to do two one hour round trips to collect you and take you to their place after work (which was one of your many complaints about the DiL)?

You accuse your DiL of hating you because at a weekend when they are not both working they have other things to do than visit you or because she doesn’t drive over to take you dress shopping when she is trying to plan her own wedding. Honestly just leave her be, your son visits and speaks to you regularly.

As per the other threads - you need to address filling your own life. Join a book club or U3A course which does sessions via Zoom. I can’t remember your disability but I’m mobility impaired in a way which can cause balance issues - I use a stick or walking poles if I’m particularly bad. Even if I’m not out at work I make sure I use them every day because the regular practice and exercise maintains strength, even if its painful at times.
Make use of taxis to go out to hobbies or classes rather than expecting DS to be your transport.

So I am guessing you don’t have a great relationship with your other children. You are probably very lonely but this is unfair to put this all on your younger son and your DIL. Once a week visits are just far too often.
You need to find your own friends/hobbies.

Ok, so I can understand why your instinct is always to reach out to him, but can you see from his perspective how this is too much?

OP, am I right in thinking you left the family home and DC stayed with your ex. The son in this case came to live with you later on, so is this why you only really have a relationship with him?

But none of that is your youngest son’s fault or his wife’s. It’s not their job to be your entertainment or only helpers your sole hobby.

You son was you career for so long. You should be happy for him not trying to pull him back in. Let him spread his wings like his siblings have rather than trying to clip him at every chance.

Still no answer re bothering them by phone so I guess you don't and put it all on the one son.

So you excuse them because they live further and have children - do you not get upset that you rarely see these grandchildren? You say in this post you are worried about DS and DIL having children and wanting to be close to this potential GC. What about your existing GC? What effort is made to them? You are contradicting yourself in what standards of expectation you hold for your children.

Everything is on son and DIL and every excuse is made for your other DC

I thought in another thread you said all bar one are 90 minutes away?

Wondered the same. Especially since the son has said in the past that everything is put on him, as he’s unlucky enough to live nearest and have no DC

You still haven't said whether you phone them as much as you do this son.

You need to find a way to become more independent and travel yourself. You said they live 30 minutes away, but they haven't fetched you over, that's 2 hours out of their day to take them to your house and back home again.

You say your other children live further away, do you contact them as often? Maybe your DIL senses you are lining them both up to be carers.

I see mine more than hubby does! Probs three times a month

HRTWT but have read op's posts
Instead of phoning him why don't you text him and then he can answer when it suits him/them? You might get a text back but that's still contact - a friendly text asking about their week would do as a starter. What response did you get to a meal out?