DH and neighbour weird situation

Uhm she’s lonely desperate and after your DH sorry. I’d give her bbq and anything else, a miss.

Probably something like
"I highly doubt that DH, anyway would anyone like another drink/ more food?"
Change subject

Honestly this is the sort of conversation my friends and I would have and it wouldn’t bother me at all if my dh said he’d use the phone line, he was clearly joking.
If you’re upset, you’re upset and that’s your right. But personally it wouldn’t bother me. It’s a shame that you’re considering spoiling a friendly, neighbourly relationship over it.

DH pipes up he'd use her phone line. I was mortified

No wonder. His mind was so much on his penis that he totally forgot that he has a wife, and that you were right there with him.

Hubby reacted enthusiastically about hearing her naughty side

I bet he did. 😒A lot of men would interpret her openness about this topic as a hint.

I see your point a little more know as initially I thought yiu were just scandalised by the subject! Still wouldn’t be so cross with neighbour but yes, I wouldn’t be happy if my DH responded that way. It’s not appropriate in my mind and I know he said you’re overreacting but I’d ask how would he feel if it was a male neighbour and it was you who enthusiastically responded. Maybe ask him that!

You brought up the subject of sex work.

She shared a business idea that she once had when she moved there, and didn't get off the ground.

All good so far.

Then you husband made it personal and sexual between the two of them.

He was the problem, not her.

I would make it very clear to my husband he crossed the line and I want him to have NOTHING to do with this neighbour at all and certainly texting or speaking to her would be a big line crossed! She was testing the water and flirting with your husband in front of you and instead of shutting it down he encouraged it!!

@anotherglass I don’t understand why you’re cross with the neighbour though as adults we should be prepared that people who aren’t our immediate family may ‘go rouge’ as it were and talk about any subject and as long as it isn’t wildly offensive or harmful you just suck it up and reconsider thereafter how to proceed. It’s your DH response that you should be solely addressing seeing as that’s what you feel most threatened by.

This does just sound like jokey conversation between friends to me.
Me and my husband joke about setting up a farts in a jar business 😂we like the idea of farting in a jar for 100 quid a pop, especially when wee had a hard week.
I don't think I would have a problem sharing this joke with friends as it really is a joke and if someone said, I would buy one then I can imagine that would amuse us all.
She was probably just comfortable in your company, remembering and sharing a funny conversation she had with her husband and your dH was just being silly and supportive.
I really dont think you need to worry, unless they start using your shed as the HQ for their new busines!!

I'd just think it was a joke. You're all grown adults fgs. Why shouldn't she joke about sex?

You started it by bringing up the subject of a potential brothel.

I'd have burst out laughing and probably said it sounded well minging but I certainly wouldn't be offended. As for you DH, has he ever phoned a wank line before? It's not the biggest crime in the world and I'm sure he wouldn't do it really anyway.

If you're worried she's trying to have sex with you/him then surely you can just politely decline?

What do you have to deal with? Just don't bring it up again if you don't want to talk about it Try to continue having a neighbour who isn't dull.

But she presumably didn’t see it as ‘personal and sexual’? For her it was a mildly funny anecdote that recalls something she and her dead husband used to joke about when they first moved in, which she was reminded of by your mentioning a massage parlour. She wasn’t monologuing about her personal sexual preferences for being ravished by a man in a gorilla costume, or suggesting a threesome? Unless you’re about to drip-feed in a big way!

I don't think joking about a sex line you might set up to cater to other people's sexual fantasies is sharing personal sexual areas

And, again, I'd take DH's comment as joking along with her. Not a serious "ooo I want to hear you talk sexy to me"

Next time either go "wow ok, let's not talk about sexual things" (and look kind of prudish) or join in the joking.

Two glasses of wine will have a perceptible effect on most people, even if it’s only to loosen their tongues.

Agree with all of this.

Also, given that her husband has since died, it could be that this represents a funny memory of a time when they’d moved to the area and were having silly-in jokes together?

(And unless you mean that she divorced the husband she moved to the area with and was then widowed in a subsequent marriage, calling her dead husband her ‘former husband’ is pretty tactless. He’s not her ex if they were married when he died!)