DH and neighbour weird situation

OP's vibes

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1i739SyCu9I&pp=ygUYYXVzdHJhbGlhbiBtcCBjcm9jb2RpbGVz

That's not as funny as you think it is.

You're feeling threatened by the presence in your life of an 'available' woman. When you had her in a box of 'nice mature widowed lady' you didn't see a threat. Now she's revealed that she's a person interested in sex, you see her differently. Your husband's response to her joke has reinforced your fear. He shouldn't have said that, but the real issue is why you feel threatened in your marriage. Are you and your H not solid?

Well yeah, more than likely. Especially if she's talking about sex in front of 'your man.' Why else would this woman have said this?

As has been said, it smacks of testing the water. Some women are so brazen that they do try it on with men in front of their wives. They enjoy making other women jealous, upset, and insecure. Whilst many single women don't do this, it's naive to assume SOME of them don't!

And yes, some women in relationships do it too, but we're not on about women in relationships on this thread. We're on about a single woman/widow.

I have to agree with this, and I do wonder - drink or not - if she was testing the water.

I knew a woman once who was a friendly acquaintance. (About 7 years older than me.) Someone I didn't socialise with much, but got on with OK - but not an actual 'friend.' She was recently divorced after 10 years of marriage.

My DH told me he thought she looked like a bit Michelle from Corrie (Kym Marsh.) When I saw her I told her this, and she said 'OMG what a compliment! Tell him thank you ... That's made my day! Tell him I'm so pleased about this, that I'll have sex with him. Whenever he wants. Anytime any place. ' 😆Then she burst out laughing.

I was like I said 'err ha ha OK eeeerrrrr...' Upshot is I felt so weird about it that after that I avoided her like the plague. Gave her a wide berth and eventually ghosted her... What a fucking weird thing to say. She had met my DH just twice, for about 5 minutes each time. She didn't fucking meet him again! I mean who the fuck says shit like this? So innapropriate and weird.

Hard to have an in-joke when your husband is dead. Poor lady was just reminiscing and your husband made a joke. What did the police do when you alerted the authorities ?

Yep.

It's usually how it goes, isn't it? Apparently single women can't be trusted. Or something.

He sounds like he would tbf

I think you should put her in touch with the neighbour described in this thread, they could do a roaring trade!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5359824-suspicious-of-neighbours-behaviour-towards-my-dh?reply=145192553

This is so sad to read, that poor woman. Her husband has died, and now she’s being ostracised for daring to speak about sex in front of a married couple.
If it wasn’t this, OP would have soon found some other excuse to ditch her. Same old story, this is exactly how widowed and divorced women lose their support networks.

Have you always been this jealous and OTT?

There is nothing wrong with talking about sexual things, it’s human nature, we all do it.
Your husband was joking around, he’s not about to run off with her.
Loosen up.

I wonder what your husband's response will be if you say, "I wonder what male sex chat line is like?"

I think you’re getting a hard time on here unnecessarily @anotherglass

Sure drinks were had and I do think she crossed the line. There was no need and it does smack of testing the waters. Your DH responded in an expected but disrespectful way as I think as he knows you and should know how this would make you feel.

You don’t need any excuse to drop this friendship. It is your right and you don’t need to justify your discomfort. Just turn down her BBQ and if she asks why you can decide then what to say. You owe her nothing.

ps former husband or deceased husband? One is still her husband.

So the friend gets ditched and she stays with the creep of a husband ?

I'd find it inappropriate, especially your husband's response. He's telling her he's interested in my opinion. You've posted on here because it didn't sit right. Trust your gut.

Pathetic . Only a married women (you ) is allowed to mention anything regarding sex .
If a single women does it she is gagging for it and fancies your man.

Ok on the face of it this seems like a massive over reaction on your part OP - which suggests that there are other things at play here, are there some trust issues going on with you and DH ?

Sometimes we don’t realise what we are actually angry about (or have the “ick” about , or whatever emotion we are feeling) until something else brings it into focus.

Ultimately if it bothers you then the person you need to address it with is your DH, sit him down and tell him “that conversation made me feel really uncomfortable.,,” and go from there.

You keep going on about being perceived as a 'threat'.

No woman is a threat to a faithful husband.

What did she say though? Because if she just said "Hahaha we joked about opening a sex chat line" then your husband is a bit of a tit, but it's a huge stretch to be annoyed with her, having just talked about a massage parlour. But if she went on to describe sexual acts she enjoys and the conversations she would have to turn men on, then she has massively overstepped the mark, and your husband has done more than just add to a joke.