DH and neighbour weird situation

Why not?

They're both sex businesses.

But again, you don't know what SHE thinks of the friendship. You have literally changed between her being a neighbour and being a good friend so I don't think you know what you think either

As is your right, obviously. Your neighbour clearly feels differently. Or she didn’t view this as any kind of ‘personal revelation of her naughty side’, but a humorous business idea/joke she and her DH concocted in happier times that she was reminiscing about. Maybe she misses him, and likes to remind people of his funny side?

I mean, you may not share their sense of humour, but that’s hardly a cardinal crime. You have personal rules about when and with whom you would discuss joke ideas for a sex phone line, but her rules are different. Again, just a mismatch.

I once lived in a London squat which was so cold I used to take baths wearing a hat, and people made porn films on the floor below — the ground floor was a bakery and we used to meet all sorts at the end of the day when the bakery would give us leftover cakes, and the people we’d just heard simulating orgasms and cracking whips were swapping custard slices for our doughnuts on the stairs.

If I told this story to a couple now, it would not be code for ‘Imagine me naked and eating doughnuts with low-grade porn actresses — I’m naughty!!’ It woukd be a mildly amusing anecdote about squatting in the 1990s.

So why did you start this thread when you're convinced you're right, @anotherglass ?

You say you're not prudish. I AM quite prudish (Catholic upbringing) and I would not turn a hair at this.

Poor woman probably didn't realise she was supping with someone whose exorbitant yet inconsistent sensibilities allowed a conversation to flow about massage parlours in the area but not a mild joke about a sex chat line.

I think she just thought she was having a laugh with some friends. Everyone has a different sense of humour and different boundaries. It doesn’t sound like she had any ill-intent behind it. As far as what your OH said, only you know if he was being flirty or just funny, but I wouldn’t blame the neighbour.

I think it might depend how it was said as well?

I have a friend I can imagine saying something like this but it would an embellished/exaggerated for effect joke iyswim.

I get you OP, you feel maybe all her sex talk and details were for the benefit of your husband, and the fact that he took the bait in going along with it. I'd be pissed too

Typo!!!😃😄🙄

Well you have used vastly different terms

She might not realise she varies between merely a neighbour and a good friend but not that good a friend...

Maybe she doesn't think that your good friendship isn't really a good friendship

Because you yourself using vastly different levels of relationship is confusing tbh

I wouldn't consider someone "just a good neighbour" if we went out for drinks, went around to each others for BBQ's etc...

These are sex people, Lynn!

Absolutely this. You’d mentioned something sexual in the conversation already, so that line had been crossed without incident as far as your neighbour was concerned. So she obviously felt safe enough in your friendship to mention her sex line idea. No doubt a light hearted story rather than some ploy to lure your husband into some kind of sordid affair.

Your husband is the problem here and he has embarrassed you and undermined you by suggesting he’d be interested in some kind of sexual relationship with your neighbour. He’s the one in the wrong here.

My partner would probably have said something like this. We often have a lot of boozy street parties and he'd have said it if the story came from the 30 year old single woman across the road or the 75 year old married lady at the end, possibly even her 80 year old husband 😂

I'd have just rolled my eyes and thought no more of it. We're solid though and he makes quips about everything, so this wouldn't be out of character for him. Perhaps it's not the same for your husband? I certainly wouldn't end a friendship over this one conversation though.

You keep changing between her being a "good friend" and what is implied is "just" a neighbour

She came to yours for a BBQ and you're invited to hers for a BBQ.

That's more than "just" neighbours

Oh WHY did they take the laugh reaction away?? 🤣🤣

@anotherglass "How do you think most men would react if an attractive woman started talking about wearing kinky boots, using a whip and then doing a phone sex chat?"

The vast majority of men of any age or marital status would be absolutely salivating. Some would keep their thoughts to themselves, some would blurt it out (like your DH did) and spend the next six weeks pretending it was a joke whilst secretly hoping the woman nextdoor got her business up and running.

I guess based on your posts you should decide whether you're good friends/get on very well/are just neighbours and let her know because you've said all three, and how comfortable she feels in your company/how much you'll see her will probably change accordingly.

Then deal with your husband issues because that's the real problem.