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Original poster

To ask those estranged/NC with their dad: did you have him at your wedding? And if you did, did he give you away?

83 replies

MyHeartyBlueShaker · 22/06/2025 20:28

I’ve been thinking a lot about the tradition of having your dad give you away at your wedding and I wanted to hear from others who are estranged or NC with their fathers. Did you still have him at your wedding? And if so, did he give you away? I imagine it’s a very different experience from the ‘traditional’ setup.

OP posts:
MumChp · 22/06/2025 20:51

No. I didn't inform him of my wedding. Why should I? Hadn't seen him for years. His choice.
No regreets 30 years later.
We walked in and out the church as a couple. No fuss.

Toilichte · 22/06/2025 20:47

I have a very good relationship with my dad, but I’m walking down the aisle with my dog 😆.

You see lots of different set ups now- mums, best friends, brothers, women going by themselves. It won’t be a massive statement if you choose someone else

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 22/06/2025 20:47

Don’t understand why anyone would want to be given away. I’m not a gift, someone’s property. Men are never given away. Weird concept.

Lafufufu · 22/06/2025 20:43

I was NC / estranged.

He was not at my wedding
I have zero regrets
He is dead now.

I walked myself down the aisle

Original poster
MyHeartyBlueShaker · 22/06/2025 20:41

FortyElephants · 22/06/2025 20:34

How can you be estranged from a parent and also have them at your wedding? That makes no sense

Estranged can mean different things to different people. I was asking with that ambiguity in mind because some people do end up inviting an estranged parent to a big life event like a wedding, whether for family pressure, a temporary truce or out of hope for reconciliation. I just wanted to know how others navigated that emotionally and practically.

OP posts:
HungreeHipp0 · 22/06/2025 20:38

I informed my dad of my engagement but I wasn't sure at that point if I wanted to invite him to the wedding (probably would have been emotionally blackmailed by my mother to do so) But I knew I wanted my brother to give me away.

In the end it didn't matter because my dad died before the wedding.

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 22/06/2025 20:36

No, I did not. I didn't use my wedding as an opportunity to reconcile. I had good reasons for breaking contact and will never go back on those.

FortyElephants · 22/06/2025 20:34

How can you be estranged from a parent and also have them at your wedding? That makes no sense