To ask those estranged/NC with their dad: did you have him at your wedding? And if you did, did he give you away?

I was low contact with my dad when I got married, I decided to invite him as I was worried I may regret it in years to come. 15 years on we are now NC and I think if I done it again I probably wouldn't of invited him, though my friends and family were great on the day and kept him away from me! My grandad walked me down the aisle

Yes I had my dad there and had him give me away. I shouldn't have, it made the day more stressful for me and felt really false and unnatural. And it annoys me he's in the photo's of me walking down the aisle.
I wanted to do what was “right”.

I was eleven when he left and twelve when I cut contact. He was not a nice man and there has never been any aspect of my life where things would have been better if he’d been there.

I’d think it would vary from person to person, rather than situation to situation. I know I sound very cold about it, but it was never difficult for me. Things were shit, but they would have been far, far shittier if I’d had to cope with him too. But I’d understand someone who had never met their father feeling traumatised by that, just as much as I would by someone having a good relationship with their dad, then losing that.

I was estranged from my dad when I got married, I didn't tell him ( or my youngest brother who still spoke to him) & my mom walked me down the aisle. I had a fairly standard ( albeit small) church wedding x

I'm shocked how many people are NC with their fathers. I never had parents and it was a shit childhood. I wonder if it's harder for those of you who did initially have the mum and dad set up then the dad disappeared.

No I haven’t seen him in over 25 years why would I? Also I wasn’t given away in anyway.

Christ no. It didn’t even occur to me. We were estranged for a reason. He’s dead now and I’ve never regretted cutting contact for a reason.

My dad fucked off when my mum was pregnant. Never met him. don’t have any contact details.

Certainly didn’t track him down to invite him to mine. Walked down the aisle myself - didn’t need giving away.

I’m no contact, me and my husband walked down the aisle together.. his daughter to the side of him and my son to the side of me.

Funnily enough I was contemplating this the other day but in relation to my own daughters. Have to say I’d be pretty disappointed if they decided to have their dad walk them down the aisle - he’s largely been absent throughout their childhood - I’m raising them emotionally physically and financially alone. I’d rather they asked their brother or as the strong independent women im hopefully raising them to be that they walk themselves

If you’re no contact why would you even consider it ? Seems rather stupid unless you’re looking for a reconciliation

I hadn't seen my dad for 26 years when I married at 27 and I never lived with him. So of course, he wasn't invited. My boss gave me away, he sat at the top table with his wife and child. I was their nanny. They kindly offered to be my family for the day.

Nope. Cut contact completely aged 17. 25 years later I’ve married twice and had two children and he’s not been involved in anything. I have no plans to go to his funeral when it happens and he will be banned from mine.

My mum walked all 4 of us down the aisle. Only one of my sisters invited him, just to the ceremony. I didn’t tell him I was getting married.

I hadnt seen my dad for 12 years when I got married. We were facebook ‘friends’ and would send a brief message every 6 months or so along the lines of ‘how are you’ ‘fine thanks’ but that was about it. I got married fairly young I was 23 and yes I did invite him and he gave me away. I haven't seen him since. It is now 13 years later, do I regret it? No, would I do it again? Probably.

I invited my father but decided as my mother brought me up single handedly she would walk me down the aisle.

Estranged means estranged - no contact at all. Your question makes no sense.

My daughter asked her step dad to give her away and neither her father or any of his family were invited. She has no contact with him.

My dad didn’t speak to me for about 6 years (long story) then following a bereavement he came back in my life. I got married but I didn’t want him to walk down the aisle. I wasn’t up for being given away anyway as the concept i don’t agree with. I had my brothers walk me down the aisle.

Dad stopped stalking to me again 6 years later, that was almost 16 years ago 🙄

I grew up with both parents and kept in contact with them. I was never that close with my Dad. He worked shifts and did a lot of gardening for others in his spare time. My biggest regret (other than my choice of husband) was having my Dad give me away. I didn’t feel comfortable linking arms and walking with him. It felt totally fake. My advice, either give yourself away or get a close friend or sibling to do it.

If you are estranged, why would you want that person at your wedding?

More crucially, it's 2025 - a woman is not a possession, and does not need to be "given away".

However, if you still want someone to escort you down the aisle, ask another relative, or a friend. Or your mother - it doesn't have to be a man!

No, and my uncle walked me down the aisle.

Nope, my brother gave me away. My father has no idea I'm married, nor has he met his grandchildren who are teenagers.

The idea of being “given away” is pretty misogynistic but if you want to do it for the sake of tradition I think you’d be crazy to ask your estranged father to do it. There must be a good reason why you are estranged and I imagine there are some complicated family dynamics at play so him turning up at the wedding could go horribly wrong and ruin your day. If you do want to reconcile with him it should be in a more gradual and private way, not by him suddenly turning up at a major event with the rest of your family in attendance.

No I'm not. My mother was abusive but I'm angrier with him because he had the ability to remove me from it and failed to fit selfish reasons.

Instead my very good friend escorted me down the aisle, and I did my own father of the bride speech.