Not exactly an AIBU because I really don't think IBU but advice would be welcome!
I'm planning a big trip for DHs upcoming big birthday. He loves Egyptian history so we're going there, also Jordan to see other historical sites, a short Nile cruise, etc. He knows we're going to Egypt (had to tell him for insurance, medical etc reasons) but we decided all other plans I'd keep secret (he loves surprises, I love planning 😂)
Problem is DHs mum. She's also into Egyptian history and has been with FIL. She keeps asking me what I have planned, what I've booked etc. Often in a (loud!) whisper when DH in room or when he's right outside.
I love this woman by the way. She's warm and kind and I've known her 20 odd years. She's like a mum to me too. But omg she can't keep a secret. Examples:
- SIL recent surprise birthday, we saw her the weekend before, MIL says as we all leave "oooh Katie we'll see you next weekend!!"
- previous surprise weekend away I planned for my DH in Edinburgh, he knew nothing, MIL couple of weeks before "ooo FrodoBiggins you'll both have to try some whiskey when you're up in Edinburgh!"
- only the other month, me and DH "we've just started watching X American sitcom", MIL "oh me and FIL are watching that we're on season 5" DH "don't tell us what happens!" MIL "oh don't worry there's nothing to tell! Nothing exciting happens until Z dies anyway".
This is tip of iceberg. She's revealed early news re pregnancy, ruined film endings, Christmas and birthday presents (even ones she's bought and wants to keep secret!). Can't tell her anything. She doesn't even realise she's doing it and we've given up trying to understand why.
Holiday is still ages away. So far I've managed it by just lying I haven't planned anything yet but that's not going to last, she'll also get anxious if she thinks I've planned nothing. I also don't really want her to go on about it in front of DH as it'll give him ideas about stuff I may (or may not!) be planning.
Any advice which might avoid upsetting her? I wish I'd just told her we were going to Spain now to throw her off the scent but DH told her the outline plan so I think it's too late 😭