Was I unreasonable to say no?

laugh any time they bring it up. And then change the conversation- they are pathetic and bordering on bullying

Sounds like you've done more than your fair share OP. You're well overdue this time off.

Having said that I do have some sympathy for lone parents/carers trying to juggle Christmas. Not everyone has family support nor access to childcare on holiday periods.

Bloody hell, the reek of entitlement is seeping through my screen! How dare they?

I wish I could say that's it's rare but we are childless and have been subjected to the pressure of colleagues with children who have imagined that we could simply change our arrangements to suit their whims. After all, we couldn't possibly have anything important to do, could we!

Usually, I would say that we had made arrangements that couldn't be altered, so sorry but there you go - although, I have to admit that on the final occasion, I responded with, 'Please stop asking me. You're embarrassing yourself.'

Nah people play the child card to easily and too often. It’s not fair on others. I say this as a new mother too.

Absolutely not.
Stop obliging anyone.
Report your boss to HR.
Definitely look for a new job, but suit yourself.

I have children but I honestly think some people with children think the whole bloody world revolves around them.

If you work shift work you have to suck it up over Christmas.

Yours is not the first time I have heard how thankless it is being obliging over shifts over Christmas.

You need to speak to HR and complain.

Do not accept this bullying.

I disagree.

Not with the point that everyone is entitled to the same time off, I agree with that.

But the point of OP explaining they're infertile is that the very reason colleagues say she shouldn't have Christmas off, is a source of pain for her. It just makes a dick move that little bit worse.

Slight sidetrack - I used to know someone who was Greek and worked in the NHS. He didn’t mind working “our” Christmas and surrounding days as then he could have “his” Christmas off and go home for it.

But Brexit got rid of alot of Greek people in the NHS I think! Another Brexit downside.

Absolutely you must stick to your guns. Your colleagues are bullies to behave like this, and your manager is just as bad for not standing up to them.

As for the person who assumed you would cover her shifts - I have no words! However, I can’t see how you could have done if you hadn’t applied for the days off (you’d already be working them as your own shifts) so I think she’s the deceitful one.

The manager sounds useless and needs to grow a backbone

Whether you have kids or not is irrelevant imo. Companies aren't allowed to ask about home commitments at interview, so why is it allowed in a job!

People in some industries have to work over Christmas. Their kids will be used to knowing parents go to work, and can get a good example of how sometimes it affects christmas.

Perhaps more difficult fir them if they have lots of church commitments, with it being the special day for baby Jesus. Even so, I'm sure He will understand.

And christmas is months away!!!

@Thefourth - stick to your guns girl. You've earned this time off.
Enjoy it.

It sounds like you are well due Christmas off. Stick to your plans to have it all off.

How bloody DARE they! It matters not a jot that you do not have children OP. Everyone is entitled to fair leave over popular holiday times. In your shoes I might have exploded at them all when they were complaining!

Stand your ground and if they keep complaining then launch an official complaint their way.

FWIW I grew up in a household where my mother (nhs) worked alternatively Xmas Eve & Xmas day or NYE & NYD every year when we were very young. It did not ruin the holidays for us! My parents made sure to work around it.

I cannot believe people can be so entitled.

They are just pissed off that they haven’t got all the time off they wanted. Ignore them.

I don't have to work the days you do but we do have to work up to and straight after xmas day/boxing day nye/nyd and in the past xmas monday if applicable.
I have 3 kids and i have never expected my holiday requests to be prioritised over those without kids.
I think your colleagues are thoughtless selfish bullies and if it were me i'd start looking around.

5 years you have covered. 5 years!!!

Don’t back down OP. Plus, just because you don’t have children, it doesn’t mean you don’t have family! How do these emotional blackmailers know that you aren’t spending Christmas with aging relatives or parents? NOT that it should matter of course!!

Op as someone who has children and would have appreciated someone taking my Christmas shift once in a while (you did it lots) thank you for being so thoughtful and if i were your colleagues id be so thankful to you and in fact they should be saying of course you get all these days off.. and shut their mouths and be thankful to you all these years (not that u needed to cover all the shifts) . Hats off to you and enjoy your time off wh3n the time comes.

Unbelievable. OP you're not unreasonable in the slightest, I'm embarrassed on their behalf, they give parents a bad name.

I have three children 1-6yo and have never, ever expected to get all christmases off. We usually alternate depending on other colleagues plans and needs. I've only ever encountered respectful people. Can't imagine working with people like this.

Please don't cave ! You're entitled to your Christmas off every other year like anyone else, doesn't even matter whether or not you have plans.

Your colleagues are Aholes. I worked Christmas last year, I have a 3 and 5 year old. My colleague who runs the service with me, who does not have kids, had it off to spend with her family. Most of us will have family and friends one way or another. And even if you don’t have any family or any friends, you still deserve time off to spend however you bloomin well like. Your colleagues can go and do one. The audacity!

And I’m pretty much already counting down the days until 1st December.

your manager shojuldnt have even asked you to consider swapping he shoujld have told them its tough

Don’t start it until 2026 though!

OP, people are very selfish. For years I never took annual leave during school holidays - it wasn't a big deal to me and I covered what needed doing, for people who weren't even doing the same job as me. Then my sister (on the other side of the world) decided to get married a few days before Christmas. So I booked holiday from about about 16th December to shortly after New Year.

Oh my goodness, the spiteful rage when I returned! My boss laughed and said "Just don't ever cover for them again." And I never did.

I’d be very clear with my manager and HR that you expect them to step in here and protect you from bullying and harassment. That is equally unacceptable.

Your manager and HR should be having private meetings with each of your colleagues telling them to pull their heads in or face a disciplinary.

You have done nothing wrong. Everyone deserves a turn at having Christmas off.

You absolutely deserve all of it off, you have done your fair share there completely! They’ve taken advantage of your nature for 5 christmasses and assumed that would continue.

That being said, I’m in the NHS. There is nothing worse than leaving your child at Christmas or their Christmas looking lonely without you. We don’t have much family, so it’s just the 4 of us DP, and 2 DC. If I’m not there, their Christmas is just the 3 of them and they feel it.

I worked christmas without guilt when they were babies, we just did Christmas another day. I feel sick about this year already as they are already begging me not to work (like I have a choice). Last year it was the only thing on my 7 y/o Christmas list for a while and that was just heartbreaking.

Same if you have elderly family that rely on you, its hard all round.

from a capitalist point of view you could charge each of them x amout paid upfront to cover their shifts @Thefourth