Was I unreasonable to say no?

I'm a parent who's also had to work over Christmas etc and know how awful it is when you have to leave your children on Christmas Day. I see both sides and ultimately you have the right to your share of decent time off so enjoy your break 🙂

I would tell them if they carry on being so nasty it will end up being a strict rotation and they will lose out.

Anyone who has family wants to make the most of the festive season whether they have children or not.

So they all take your generosity so much for granted they now think they have the right to it!

That will take a lot of adjustment for you. Its one he'll of a realisation

Oh, for them too. Now they'll have to work out what to do next year and the year after that... without them all relying on you to free up somenof their family time

I can’t fathom where it would exist? Never have I experienced or overheard or even been vaguely aware of stuff like this!

There are two types of places ones that shut down completely over Christmas and ones that don't. If you work in one that doesn't you are ok with sometimes working over Christmas. END OF. Maybe there's a rare exception, like someone in the family is terminally ill and it's likely to be their last Christmas, but normal stuff like kids that lots of people have and you'll have for years and years make NO difference. Also if you are a parent, don't you want to save your colleagues good will for something you haven't chosen and requires you like your kid or childminder being sick?

Same. But I know I’ve been lucky and/or wise about the people I allow into my sphere!
All of this stuff exists. Be grateful you haven’t had to deal with it rather than scornful of those who have.

Yeah, I’m amazed at how this stuff comes up. Who would have thought we’d have a “Childless people should work Christmas” thread in June.

I’d say ‘Still banging on about that Jane? For your sake, just drop it. Honestly, I’m not going to change my mind. It’s the first Christmas I’ve had off in 5 years. Don’t work in an industry where you have to work at Christmas if it’s so bloody important. Kiss my ass and fuck off.’

Then you are very lucky

This. It's bullying and needs to be nipped in the bud pronto.

Have you worked in the NHS? This kind of bullying and people who are seen as a soft touch being pressured by strong characters into covering shifts no one wants is absolutely rife in Health care settings. Not helped by Managers who are too weak to stand up to this kind of nonsense. The situation OP describes is not uncommon at all.

Bless you, your colleagues sound like aholes

Tell them if they don't pack it in you won't be covering for them at any time ever again. It's bullying. Do not cave, it's not your problem they took you for granted.

Mumsnet world. Where work colleagues behave like this, MILs are narcissists, school cliques, bitchy NCT classes, cheeky neighbours…. Endless litany of stuff like this that thankfully - I have never encountered

If their children were 1 2 3 4 5 you would STILL NBU

I have a 1 and 3 yr old... everyone deserves christmas off at some point...

Say your non refundable holiday has been booked it cost £10k and unless they want to reimburse you there is no further conversation to be had.
Additionally your manage is lame / out of order.

Not nice having to deal with a horrible atmosphere at work. But look on the bright side, OP. Now your workmates have shown their true colours and you know for a fact they didn't truly appreciate you covering their shifts for the past 5 years, they just felt entitled to expect it, you don't have to feel obliged to do them any favours again! You're free!

Fuck em.

They are bullying you OP.

If they continue to make an issue of this I would put in an official complaint.

You have been more than reasonable in the past OP and you have every right to go ahead with your own plans this year.

We dont have children but that’s because I’m infertile it’s not because we don’t want them.

the reason why you don’t have children is utterly irrelevant

Bloody hell, do colleagues actually behave like this? Their treatment of a fellow colleague, you, is downright appalling. Bullying comes to mind.

Ask your manager to send an email requesting that all staff refrain from pressuring staff into swapping. This really should have been specified in the original allocation announcement.

Don't relent.

It sounds like their policy for this isn’t great. They should have a policy of (for example), everyone is always scheduled to work 2 of the 5 holiday days (Christmas Eve - Boxing Day, NYE, NYD), and any swaps are fine but not taken into account in the following year’s allocations because they are personal arrangements.

However, that’s just a general observation about their system. I don’t think you’re done anything wrong at all.

YNBU and your colleagues are being ridiculous. You have as much right to time off as anyone else, particularly taking advantage of the bank holidays. I bet these CFs wouldn’t forgo their own plans for anyone, so why they expect you to is beyond me!

Enjoy booking something amazing!

Absolutely don’t be guilted. You have more than done your turn and they are ignorant, entitled fuckwits to be doing this. Your manager is also shit for putting this back on you, he should them it’s your turn and to get over it.

If it helps at all my mum was a nurse and worked lots of Christmas and Christmas Eve shifts when I was little- I don’t remember any occasions of her not being there, we always had Christmas and it’s was always great, so it’s really not that big a deal.

Hope you have a lovely Xmas break.

I’m guessing that this entire work environment is pretty awful at the best of times

Stand your ground, OP! Whatever you do, do not back down.