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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bonnie Blue

184 replies

Horseygirl95 · 22/06/2025 14:14

Settle this debate between me and my friend please!

AIBU to think it's the thousands of men enabling her behaviour that are the problem, not her??

She gets so much stick and backlash, but the way I see it, is that she wouldn't be able to do what she does if it wasn't for the THOUSANDS (at least) of men who pay for her content and turn up to her events.

She wouldn't be able to sleep with people's husbands and teenage sons if the men in question didn't turn up or engage with her!!
My friend thinks no, she's the one putting herself out there in this way and giving the men the opportunity, so she is the homewrecker.

So AIBU to think its actually the men that are the problem here??

OP posts:
JustPinkFinch · 23/06/2025 10:54

Greenfields20 · 23/06/2025 10:48

I dont look at Bonnie and think she is vulnerable, so I'm sure a lot of these men don't consider her vulnerable. If she is vulnerable then the whole team behind all these stunts are the people to blame. Where are her family and friends if she is so vulnerable?

I know you look at BB and can appreciate she is doing herself harm. The men know that + everyone in her team too. They get no passes from me.

Greenfields20 · 23/06/2025 10:48

JustPinkFinch · 23/06/2025 10:34

I think we all agree and it is obvious that her behaviour falls outside the realms of safe, sane and normal and is likely to cause her long term harm. Nonetheless, the men participate in that harm. I don't care whether they are single or not, that's not the issue at all. My issue is them having sex with a woman they suspect is probably vulnerable in some way, yet they do it anyway.

I dont look at Bonnie and think she is vulnerable, so I'm sure a lot of these men don't consider her vulnerable. If she is vulnerable then the whole team behind all these stunts are the people to blame. Where are her family and friends if she is so vulnerable?

JustPinkFinch · 23/06/2025 10:34

Greenfields20 · 23/06/2025 10:10

So what's the issue with someone's dad or brother having sex with her? Provided they are single. If they are not single then it's not ok as that falls under cheating, but otherwise why is that the societal issue and not also the women doing this kind of thing? Surely both are as bad for society.

I think we all agree and it is obvious that her behaviour falls outside the realms of safe, sane and normal and is likely to cause her long term harm. Nonetheless, the men participate in that harm. I don't care whether they are single or not, that's not the issue at all. My issue is them having sex with a woman they suspect is probably vulnerable in some way, yet they do it anyway.

Greenfields20 · 23/06/2025 10:10

JustPinkFinch · 23/06/2025 09:27

Bizarre reply.

Most people would not be cool with their daughter doing this. They would, however, want their daughter to be afforded a basic level of respect even if she did. We are not the Magdalene sisters.

You are projecting your own internalised hatred and insecurities on this thread. I hate to break it to you Missey, but your fella/dad/brother would probably shag her given half the chance. And that's the societal issue.

So what's the issue with someone's dad or brother having sex with her? Provided they are single. If they are not single then it's not ok as that falls under cheating, but otherwise why is that the societal issue and not also the women doing this kind of thing? Surely both are as bad for society.

JustPinkFinch · 23/06/2025 09:27

Bizarre reply.

Most people would not be cool with their daughter doing this. They would, however, want their daughter to be afforded a basic level of respect even if she did. We are not the Magdalene sisters.

You are projecting your own internalised hatred and insecurities on this thread. I hate to break it to you Missey, but your fella/dad/brother would probably shag her given half the chance. And that's the societal issue.

Missey85 · 23/06/2025 08:37

BitingFrog · 23/06/2025 07:41

Like this - we don’t even need men to be misogynistic, as women have now been conditioned to think it’s okay to talk about another woman and view her like this!

So you'd be cool if your daughter said she was going to do this? Bonnie blue is no woman she's a human sex doll

Jerrypicker · 23/06/2025 08:32

TuttiFruittiSweets · 23/06/2025 07:12

Fact? So you could look at a newborn baby girl and believe she is a “born slut”? Do you also look at newborn baby boys and think they are a “born pervert, abuser, rapist”?

Please stop being so daft. Of course you can’t tell it by looking at a baby! Are drunk or something?

Greenfields20 · 23/06/2025 08:18

LSTMS30555 · 23/06/2025 08:00

Also @JerrypickerSome women are just born sluts fact? Wow really; got any data/statistics to back that up?

some people are nymphomaniacs/Hypersexuality/compulsive sexual behaviour (men & women) but that’s also an illness usually linked to other mental health disorders or early childhood trauma/csa and has fuck all to do with actually enjoying the sex itself, quite the opposite actually.

Cant believe it’s 2025 and women/females are still being called sluts. How fucking dare a woman enjoy sex; it’s for men’s pleasure only you dirty heathens!

Its not about whether she enjoys sex its the number of people she is having sex with. If a man was going around sleeping with hundreds/thousands of women and gloating about it I'm sure he would be getting the wrath of some women on here. Pervert, dirty bastard, user, sex obsessed moron, etc etc.

Greenfields20 · 23/06/2025 08:10

Horseygirl95 · 23/06/2025 08:00

I'm not saying she's blameless

But surely the sheer volume of men supporting this kind of thing should be far more worrying and should make us want to change as a society rather than just blaming her

She can't be blamed for mens choices. All shes doing, in a nutshell, is offering a service. Men have the free will to engage or not! It's down to them

And in what way do you want society to change? Woman offers men sex, they accept. What do you want to change about that?

LSTMS30555 · 23/06/2025 08:00

Also @JerrypickerSome women are just born sluts fact? Wow really; got any data/statistics to back that up?

some people are nymphomaniacs/Hypersexuality/compulsive sexual behaviour (men & women) but that’s also an illness usually linked to other mental health disorders or early childhood trauma/csa and has fuck all to do with actually enjoying the sex itself, quite the opposite actually.

Cant believe it’s 2025 and women/females are still being called sluts. How fucking dare a woman enjoy sex; it’s for men’s pleasure only you dirty heathens!

Horseygirl95 · 23/06/2025 08:00

I'm not saying she's blameless

But surely the sheer volume of men supporting this kind of thing should be far more worrying and should make us want to change as a society rather than just blaming her

She can't be blamed for mens choices. All shes doing, in a nutshell, is offering a service. Men have the free will to engage or not! It's down to them

OP posts:
CharlotteBakewell · 23/06/2025 07:48

I think it’s absolutely gross on both parts. Imagine if she ever has dc.

LSTMS30555 · 23/06/2025 07:42

@Jerrypicker how do you know she doesn’t have a personality disorder?

common behaviours in (BPD) EUPD

  • Intense Emotional Instability:
  • People with BPD experience rapid and dramatic shifts in mood, often feeling overwhelmed by emotions and struggling to regulate them.
  • Fear of Abandonment:
  • A core feature of BPD is an intense fear of being alone or abandoned, leading to frantic efforts to avoid separation from others.
  • Unstable Relationships:
  • Relationships can be turbulent and unpredictable, marked by idealization and devaluation of others, and difficulty trusting.
  • Impulsivity and Self-Destructive Behaviors:
  • BPD is associated with impulsive behaviors, such as substance abuse, reckless driving, and self-harm, including suicidal thoughts and attempts.
BitingFrog · 23/06/2025 07:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Like this - we don’t even need men to be misogynistic, as women have now been conditioned to think it’s okay to talk about another woman and view her like this!

HangryLikeTheHulk · 23/06/2025 07:37

She’s basically a fairground ride at this point, and she made herself that.

BitingFrog · 23/06/2025 07:36

Horseygirl95 · 22/06/2025 14:14

Settle this debate between me and my friend please!

AIBU to think it's the thousands of men enabling her behaviour that are the problem, not her??

She gets so much stick and backlash, but the way I see it, is that she wouldn't be able to do what she does if it wasn't for the THOUSANDS (at least) of men who pay for her content and turn up to her events.

She wouldn't be able to sleep with people's husbands and teenage sons if the men in question didn't turn up or engage with her!!
My friend thinks no, she's the one putting herself out there in this way and giving the men the opportunity, so she is the homewrecker.

So AIBU to think its actually the men that are the problem here??

I agree. And the language used about her by other women is disgusting. She seems to make them really angry. What is going makes me feel a bit sad for someone I’ve never met, and if a friend of mine was behaving like that I would be advising against it.. but I can’t get myself into a fury or announce that she is “vile”. The men are sadly predictable- in terms of a certain type of man that is - and that’s more worrying to me I suppose. Her behaviour is unusual but I am not sure that the men’s behaviour is so surprising (and that’s the bit that makes it sad!)

Missey85 · 23/06/2025 07:32

This reply has been deleted

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TheMrsCampbellBlack · 23/06/2025 07:21

She's the sao in the soggy sao scenario. Nothing more.

Greenfields20 · 23/06/2025 07:19

Insanityisnotastrategy · 23/06/2025 07:07

I think she's appalling. But she's one woman (and of course, misogynists will use that to extrapolate about women as a group). There are far more men taking part, clearly. So if we're talking about men vs women then it says something far more worrying about men as a group. If we're just talking in terms of individual responsibility, she is the instigator and is equally if not more responsible.

Plenty women use sex to sell. It's just a sliding scale of how far they go.

Greenfields20 · 23/06/2025 07:16

Horseygirl95 · 23/06/2025 06:55

So when faced with a decision men can't be blamed for making a bad choice? Surely they should be able to say no 😅

Poor menz. Bonnie blue must be forcing them to shag her and buy her content is she?

I think what most people are telling you is that they are all as bad as each other including her. Dont just blame the men blame her (and others like her).

PinkyFlamingo · 23/06/2025 07:13

Horseygirl95 · 23/06/2025 06:55

So when faced with a decision men can't be blamed for making a bad choice? Surely they should be able to say no 😅

Poor menz. Bonnie blue must be forcing them to shag her and buy her content is she?

Don't be so ridiculous all the men are scum and so is she. They all are consenting adults.

TuttiFruittiSweets · 23/06/2025 07:12

Jerrypicker · 22/06/2025 18:08

She doesn’t have a personality disorder. Some women are born sluts. Fact. It’s in their nature. It is such a strong driving force in them that nothing and no one can influence them or change them for the better. It’s literally part of their personality. They come from a wide variety of socioeconomic backgrounds and family set-ups. It has absolutely nothing to do with their background, it’s a personality trait.

Fact? So you could look at a newborn baby girl and believe she is a “born slut”? Do you also look at newborn baby boys and think they are a “born pervert, abuser, rapist”?

Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 07:11

Painrelief · 22/06/2025 14:28

She is mentally unstable if you ask me and needs some serious therapy .

A lot of the male species will accept anything if it’s offered to them . Just like a dog accepting a piece of meat that’s been rolled on the floor . They ain’t fussy and are hardly going to turn their nose upto it coz it’s a piece of meat .
Both sides are disgusting .

😆 🤣

PinkyFlamingo · 23/06/2025 07:11

All as bad as each other really. Can't believe you're trying to abdolve her of any responsibility just because she's a woman.

Expatornot · 23/06/2025 07:09

Horseygirl95 · 23/06/2025 06:57

You can't blame Bonnie that men are CHOOSING to turn up to her events and buy her OF. She's offering it, they could say no and leave her high and dry. But no, so many men love that stuff

So she is a predator then?