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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to just be left the fuck alone??

83 replies

ButteredRadishes · 22/06/2025 12:11

I'm ill, hot, ratty, all touched and needed out!

I'm trying to lie down for a bit in the cool bedroom, with instructions to "LEAVE ME ALONE, Mum is ill"

It's been 20 minutes, the child had been in twice, DH has been in asking where some random items are. Then DD wants a cuddle. I suggest he takes her swimming and it's ..." oh aren't you coming?/mummy I want you to come".

Just all fuck offffffff.

I'm going to have to go out in my own in a bit, just to stop them harassing meeeeee.

OP posts:
SeaToSki · 22/06/2025 14:47

I used to have a long bath. There is a lock on the door and if anyone asked me for help I could say yes but Im naked at the moment and I have to wash and dry and get dressed before I can get started on the help. They mostly buggered off and found a sibling or DH to help or worked it out themselves rather than wait for me.

user1492757084 · 22/06/2025 14:46

Ask DH to put up a Do Not Disturb notice on your door, to bring you a glass of ice, some earplugs and a glass of Paracetamol and to not only leave you alone for the rest of the day but to ward off any noisy intruder child.

If he fails give him another chance to practise the same tomorrow, and the next day, until you are well.

Mistyglade · 22/06/2025 14:45

Jenimamumtoo · 22/06/2025 14:27

Sounds petulant and aren't u the grown-up? We all talk abt community but u can't be bothered with yr own family? The heat saps us all - splash yourself with cold water, don't wipe away, treat yrself to a magnum and buy everone else an ice pole! Then do what you signed up for: be a parent, a partner and leave the housework, go out for the day and you'll all sleep for England later!!!

Appalling take. Mums aren’t robots. We’re women, we’re people and deserve to be treated as such.

Crystaltipsandalistaire · 22/06/2025 14:44

Never turn a child away.

Lilaclinacre · 22/06/2025 14:42

TheHillsIsLonely · 22/06/2025 14:41

I often identified, and still often do, with The Large Family story Five Minutes Peace.

My mum loved that when I was little!

TheHillsIsLonely · 22/06/2025 14:41

I often identified, and still often do, with The Large Family story Five Minutes Peace.

Mistyglade · 22/06/2025 14:41

I’ve been a ratbag for the past few days, must be the moon, I blame that.

Vivienne1000 · 22/06/2025 14:41

Lock yourself in the bathroom with a good book.

Lilaclinacre · 22/06/2025 14:40

It's not being a bad mother to teach kids boundaries. I wouldn't put up with people even small ones, following me to the toilet and harassing me. They need to learn no.

Crikeyisthatthetime · 22/06/2025 14:40

Jenimamumtoo · 22/06/2025 14:27

Sounds petulant and aren't u the grown-up? We all talk abt community but u can't be bothered with yr own family? The heat saps us all - splash yourself with cold water, don't wipe away, treat yrself to a magnum and buy everone else an ice pole! Then do what you signed up for: be a parent, a partner and leave the housework, go out for the day and you'll all sleep for England later!!!

First two words of the OP:
I'm ill.

Yeah petulant cow should just take everyone to the park 😏

Sunshineismyfavourite · 22/06/2025 14:39

I'd get in my car whack up the air con and bugger myself off to a quiet car park for a snooze. Take a few snacks and drinks (or perhaps get a drive through) Put your phone on silent. Perhaps read a book or just snooze.
I do this sometimes when I need to decompress or just get out the house away from everyone - it's great!

HiEarthlings · 22/06/2025 14:38

I'm totally amazed at some of the tactics people are suggesting. Whatever happened to good old straightforward COMMUNICATION? When my kids were young and I was ill I simply told my husband, in no uncertain terms, that I was ill, I was going to bed and I was NOT to be disturbed, under ANY circumstance, except for a life-threatening emergency and that of I were, it was HIS life that was going to be threatened. End of discussion. And I wasn't disturbed. Your husband is perfectly capable of understanding you AND actually listening to you, if you actually tell him in plain, no nonsense, not to be argued with, words. None of this, "I'd just like a little time alone", or, I need to rest, I'm not feeling well". It's "I am ill. I am feeling like death warmed up. I am going to go to bed now and I do not want to be disturbed under any circumstance, unless it's a life-threatening emergency. You are an adult you can adult unsupervised. You are a parent, you can parent unsupervised. I will see you both later when I'm feeling better. Do not disturb me!!!". If he then continues to disturbed you, you know exactly what he thinks of you, (which is nothing), and I'd have to wonder why you would want to be with someone who thinks so little of you....

LatteLady · 22/06/2025 14:33

The correct response is, "Ask your father, as I am busy throwing up... unless you want to clear up after me!" That should scare them off.

Sadmummy3 · 22/06/2025 14:30

I remember my mum saying I'm going to my bedroom, don't disturb me. And we just didn't. My mum was lovely though (perhaps my kids don't think I am).
I have a lock on the bedroom door but I will still get pounced on by one of my kids or DH the second I leave the room, even if I've only been gone 20 minutes

Jenimamumtoo · 22/06/2025 14:27

Sounds petulant and aren't u the grown-up? We all talk abt community but u can't be bothered with yr own family? The heat saps us all - splash yourself with cold water, don't wipe away, treat yrself to a magnum and buy everone else an ice pole! Then do what you signed up for: be a parent, a partner and leave the housework, go out for the day and you'll all sleep for England later!!!

user1471538283 · 22/06/2025 14:22

I've said before that I cannot remember a time when I had a wee in peace. My DS when he was small would interrupt or just walk in. Then it was the cats and him pushing in or banging loudly on the door about nothing (it's still one of the cats). I often shouted "I just want a wee on my own!". When my DS was older I could be found in the grocery store car park with a coffee or cheese.

I'd be furious and your DH should be able to parent his own DC so you can rest.

TheGander · 22/06/2025 14:16

My kids are 18 and 22 now but I still remember with horror the 1st time I was unwell and had to look after a baby and a toddler. You have my sympathies.

TangerinePlate · 22/06/2025 14:13

This thread reminded me of OP on holidays trying to read a book and unable to do so because of constant interruptions,
Finally she snapped and chased them out to sea. When she lifted her head the whole family was “bobbing on the sea like shitty mermaids”looking at her with longing.

I remember first lockdown when I announced to DC and XH that I’m clocking out at 10pm and I don’t want to see any of them till the morning.

XH was not happy. It didn’t matter that he had several hours to himself while I had 0 being constantly in charge of kids/house.

CremeBruhlee · 22/06/2025 14:09

I would have a shower and get back into comfy clothes. Drive to nearest retail park - get a boots meal deal or McDonald’s and coffee/drink and sit in car read, sleep or chill. Take book/ipad whatever….. Tell them you are going to pharmacy and to pick up some tights/new bra whatever….. you will be gone 2 hours….bliss

Wintersgirl · 22/06/2025 14:04

Totally get it, you get sick and tired of everyone leaning on you, it's exhausting...

Fordian · 22/06/2025 14:04

I recall sitting on the loo with a 13 month old clinging limpet like onto me; a 3 year old leaning against my legs and the dog with his head on my knee, gently whimpering.

I felt that we did not necessarily need to occupy the same fecking 1 metre cubed in the entire house….

pinkyredrose · 22/06/2025 14:03

Everyone being disturbed, get door wedges, cheaper and less faff than locks but no-one can get in. Available in Pound stores. I'm convinced they've saved many a marriage. Thank me later.

TheAutumnCrow · 22/06/2025 13:59

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 22/06/2025 12:21

I developed a tactic for this. It was either that or throw shit at them. I can't hand on heart say I mean metaphorical shit tbh.

any time I was disturbed while ill, I gave the disturber a task to do. Preferably horrible. Always urgent.

You need to clean down the u-bend of the loo type for my husband, deep cleaning of bedroom for sons.

Came in again - did you do X? no? why? when will you? oh, you also need to do Y.

Pretty soon, whenever I said don't disturb me, I was left undisturbed!

It's chapter 2 of my FAFO book. Chapter 1 was You Interfere, You Volunteer.

Give them horrible or boring tasks and nag the fuck out of them every time they come back in. Or do the whole oh while you're in here, please do/check/pass me...

You'll be left alone for so long you'll start to worry the zombie apocalypse happened while you were napping.

Where is this book published please, @Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast? I am in dire need of Chap 1, with some immediacy.

Am prepared to travel to alternative FAFO-feminist bookshops incognito in a sedan chair.

notanothersummercold · 22/06/2025 13:56

NamedChand · 22/06/2025 12:39

’im going for a nap, when I wake up we’ll clean the house’ you’ll be left alone forever

Brilliant!!

FullyLined · 22/06/2025 13:55

Mum flue - it’s like a normal flue, except nobody gives a fuck. 🌷