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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want to just be left the fuck alone??

83 replies

ButteredRadishes · 22/06/2025 12:11

I'm ill, hot, ratty, all touched and needed out!

I'm trying to lie down for a bit in the cool bedroom, with instructions to "LEAVE ME ALONE, Mum is ill"

It's been 20 minutes, the child had been in twice, DH has been in asking where some random items are. Then DD wants a cuddle. I suggest he takes her swimming and it's ..." oh aren't you coming?/mummy I want you to come".

Just all fuck offffffff.

I'm going to have to go out in my own in a bit, just to stop them harassing meeeeee.

OP posts:
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ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 22/06/2025 22:11

I’m glad you finally got your DH to step up, but you’re absolutely right you shouldn’t have to spell it out to him. Hopefully he’s learned for next time.

Original poster
ButteredRadishes · 22/06/2025 22:02

I had a word earlier and told him it's absolutely ridiculous that I am being disturbed, and be needs to step up. TBF he did. But I was so annoyed that I had to tell him this!

OP posts:
ASimpleLampoon · 22/06/2025 21:58

If you can afford it and there's one near book a night in a B and B or Travelodge

Its not funny or cute of your husband to not let you rest. Its shitty behavioir

Original poster
ButteredRadishes · 22/06/2025 21:46

Jenimamumtoo · 22/06/2025 14:27

Sounds petulant and aren't u the grown-up? We all talk abt community but u can't be bothered with yr own family? The heat saps us all - splash yourself with cold water, don't wipe away, treat yrself to a magnum and buy everone else an ice pole! Then do what you signed up for: be a parent, a partner and leave the housework, go out for the day and you'll all sleep for England later!!!

Wowsers, yo some sort of super martyr or something? Never go to bed when you're ill? Never need time alone?

I'm lying in bed, weak, fatigued, with a fever but actually I'm just being lazy? Righto...

OP posts:
Original poster
ButteredRadishes · 22/06/2025 21:42

Crystaltipsandalistaire · 22/06/2025 14:44

Never turn a child away.

... Oh come on, don't be ridiculous. The child can't be with me every moment she wants. Sometimes I'm allowed to have a shower alone, and yes #orry 5 year old, you can't come with me to the pub to see my friends...

Don't be ridiculous.

OP posts:
Fordian · 22/06/2025 21:06

Petitchat · 22/06/2025 15:24

My adult daughter has this with her cat !

Show quote history

My cat is usually either in the loo with me for No 1; or immediately guarding outside for No2, when I’d shut the door completely.

DS has a theory, that he recognises my 'vulnerability’ sitting on the loo, so, being the house-panther, he guards…🤔

Lilaclinacre · 22/06/2025 20:00

Crystaltipsandalistaire · 22/06/2025 14:44

Never turn a child away.

Children need to learn that they aren't the centre of the universe or they grow up to be unbearable adults.This attitude may be why schools are such awful places currently and we have teachers leaving in droves.

Sharptonguedwoman · 22/06/2025 19:14

Crystaltipsandalistaire · 22/06/2025 14:44

Never turn a child away.

Careful, or you'll trip over your own halo.

Sharptonguedwoman · 22/06/2025 19:11

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 22/06/2025 15:55

Yeah, fuck that. Being a 24/7 mummy martyr helps nobody.

It's ok to want a bit of time to yourself in your bedroom from time to time.

My sons are grown men now and for any new mummies looking at their gorgeous baby and thinking nothing in the world will ever make me take my eyes off you you are my sun my moon my everything you are all that matters from this day forth my life belongs to you anything less than everything being about you is child abuse...

Yeah. When they grow up I guarantee they're not sobbing into their hanky as they tell the therapist about that time you were lying down one Sunday because it was hot and they were left in the care of their... insert sinister music here... father.

Show quote history

😂

Sharptonguedwoman · 22/06/2025 19:10

IsabelleLeduc · 22/06/2025 16:21

This thread reminded me of OP on holidays trying to read a book and unable to do so because of constant interruptions,Finally she snapped and chased them out to sea. When she lifted her head the whole family was “bobbing on the sea like shitty mermaids”looking at her with longing.
😂😂😂

Howling with laughter now!

Sharptonguedwoman · 22/06/2025 19:08

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 22/06/2025 12:21

I developed a tactic for this. It was either that or throw shit at them. I can't hand on heart say I mean metaphorical shit tbh.

any time I was disturbed while ill, I gave the disturber a task to do. Preferably horrible. Always urgent.

You need to clean down the u-bend of the loo type for my husband, deep cleaning of bedroom for sons.

Came in again - did you do X? no? why? when will you? oh, you also need to do Y.

Pretty soon, whenever I said don't disturb me, I was left undisturbed!

It's chapter 2 of my FAFO book. Chapter 1 was You Interfere, You Volunteer.

Give them horrible or boring tasks and nag the fuck out of them every time they come back in. Or do the whole oh while you're in here, please do/check/pass me...

You'll be left alone for so long you'll start to worry the zombie apocalypse happened while you were napping.

Brilliant strategy!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/06/2025 19:05

Your DH is the problem here.

Sounds like your child is very young. He needs to be putting effort into keeping her away from you and entertaining her with a tiring but hear appropriate activity like the swimming you suggested. No excuse to just laze about hoping your DC will disturb you instead of him!

BMW6 · 22/06/2025 18:01

Jenimamumtoo · 22/06/2025 14:27

Sounds petulant and aren't u the grown-up? We all talk abt community but u can't be bothered with yr own family? The heat saps us all - splash yourself with cold water, don't wipe away, treat yrself to a magnum and buy everone else an ice pole! Then do what you signed up for: be a parent, a partner and leave the housework, go out for the day and you'll all sleep for England later!!!

She's bloody ILL you tiresome Gobshite

IsabelleLeduc · 22/06/2025 16:21

This thread reminded me of OP on holidays trying to read a book and unable to do so because of constant interruptions,Finally she snapped and chased them out to sea. When she lifted her head the whole family was “bobbing on the sea like shitty mermaids”looking at her with longing.
😂😂😂

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 22/06/2025 15:55

Jenimamumtoo · 22/06/2025 14:27

Sounds petulant and aren't u the grown-up? We all talk abt community but u can't be bothered with yr own family? The heat saps us all - splash yourself with cold water, don't wipe away, treat yrself to a magnum and buy everone else an ice pole! Then do what you signed up for: be a parent, a partner and leave the housework, go out for the day and you'll all sleep for England later!!!

Yeah, fuck that. Being a 24/7 mummy martyr helps nobody.

It's ok to want a bit of time to yourself in your bedroom from time to time.

My sons are grown men now and for any new mummies looking at their gorgeous baby and thinking nothing in the world will ever make me take my eyes off you you are my sun my moon my everything you are all that matters from this day forth my life belongs to you anything less than everything being about you is child abuse...

Yeah. When they grow up I guarantee they're not sobbing into their hanky as they tell the therapist about that time you were lying down one Sunday because it was hot and they were left in the care of their... insert sinister music here... father.

Thewolvesarerunningagain · 22/06/2025 15:37

It's chapter 2 of my FAFO book. Chapter 1 was You Interfere, You Volunteer.

I will buy this!!!

SENSummer · 22/06/2025 15:27

This is me today and DH who has been at work all week, in a lovely adult environment doing what he loves and trained his whole life to do…is of course fully of the mindset that I am the problem!

Petitchat · 22/06/2025 15:24

Areyouserioushuh · 22/06/2025 15:11

I cant even poo in peace!

My adult daughter has this with her cat !

ManchesterLu · 22/06/2025 15:23

largeredformeplease · 22/06/2025 12:35

It’s horrible.

I genuinely don’t remember harassing my mum like this when I was a kid. But my kids do it to me all day long. It’s so horrible.

They get loads of attention and positive reinforcement. It’s like they just can’t stand me having anything to myself, even if it’s just 20 minutes of peace.

You will have done. But you don't see it as harassment, because she's your mum, and all kids think their mum should be available to them at all times (because, let's face it, you usually are!)

But that is exactly why dad needs to step the fuck up and entertain them, take them out, do whatever is needed to give mum a rest. A phrase I hate on this site is "you have a DH problem not a DC problem" but my word is it true here.

Petitchat · 22/06/2025 15:23

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 22/06/2025 12:21

I developed a tactic for this. It was either that or throw shit at them. I can't hand on heart say I mean metaphorical shit tbh.

any time I was disturbed while ill, I gave the disturber a task to do. Preferably horrible. Always urgent.

You need to clean down the u-bend of the loo type for my husband, deep cleaning of bedroom for sons.

Came in again - did you do X? no? why? when will you? oh, you also need to do Y.

Pretty soon, whenever I said don't disturb me, I was left undisturbed!

It's chapter 2 of my FAFO book. Chapter 1 was You Interfere, You Volunteer.

Give them horrible or boring tasks and nag the fuck out of them every time they come back in. Or do the whole oh while you're in here, please do/check/pass me...

You'll be left alone for so long you'll start to worry the zombie apocalypse happened while you were napping.

Great strategies 🤣

Areyouserioushuh · 22/06/2025 15:11

I cant even poo in peace!

WilfredsPies · 22/06/2025 15:10

Jenimamumtoo · 22/06/2025 14:27

Sounds petulant and aren't u the grown-up? We all talk abt community but u can't be bothered with yr own family? The heat saps us all - splash yourself with cold water, don't wipe away, treat yrself to a magnum and buy everone else an ice pole! Then do what you signed up for: be a parent, a partner and leave the housework, go out for the day and you'll all sleep for England later!!!

She signed up to be a parent and a partner. Not a 24 hour a day nursemaid who has no entitlement to 20 minutes peace when she’s feeling ill.

Choosing not to use half the alphabet is one thing. Choosing not to read it is something else.

TinyTempest · 22/06/2025 14:57

Jenimamumtoo · 22/06/2025 14:27

Sounds petulant and aren't u the grown-up? We all talk abt community but u can't be bothered with yr own family? The heat saps us all - splash yourself with cold water, don't wipe away, treat yrself to a magnum and buy everone else an ice pole! Then do what you signed up for: be a parent, a partner and leave the housework, go out for the day and you'll all sleep for England later!!!

Have you tried typing actual words like a grown up?

Ellie56 · 22/06/2025 14:56

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 22/06/2025 12:21

I developed a tactic for this. It was either that or throw shit at them. I can't hand on heart say I mean metaphorical shit tbh.

any time I was disturbed while ill, I gave the disturber a task to do. Preferably horrible. Always urgent.

You need to clean down the u-bend of the loo type for my husband, deep cleaning of bedroom for sons.

Came in again - did you do X? no? why? when will you? oh, you also need to do Y.

Pretty soon, whenever I said don't disturb me, I was left undisturbed!

It's chapter 2 of my FAFO book. Chapter 1 was You Interfere, You Volunteer.

Give them horrible or boring tasks and nag the fuck out of them every time they come back in. Or do the whole oh while you're in here, please do/check/pass me...

You'll be left alone for so long you'll start to worry the zombie apocalypse happened while you were napping.

Grin Grin

gamerchick · 22/06/2025 14:54

Jenimamumtoo · 22/06/2025 14:27

Sounds petulant and aren't u the grown-up? We all talk abt community but u can't be bothered with yr own family? The heat saps us all - splash yourself with cold water, don't wipe away, treat yrself to a magnum and buy everone else an ice pole! Then do what you signed up for: be a parent, a partner and leave the housework, go out for the day and you'll all sleep for England later!!!

You know there's no character limit on here don't you?

Get yourself out for a couple of hours OP, we can't be on duty all of the time.