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Original poster

I can’t explain what modesty means to my dd age 21

208 replies

coffeegirl73 · 22/06/2025 00:25

Does modesty exist any more or is it just another outdated misogynistic concept designed to keep women under control. I don’t know but I’m interested what you all think. I was in a catholic school with nuns and learnt a lot about modesty. I can’t explain it to dd though - she just keeps saying but why shouldn’t women bare whatever they want . It’s confusing me

OP posts:
Original poster
coffeegirl73 · 22/06/2025 00:35

zaicandy · 22/06/2025 00:31

I can see both sides, I’d hate to see my kids go out wearing a boob tube and shorts with their arse cheeks hanging out. But essentially it’s not up to you to tell her what to wear, she’s a grown woman.

I never tell her what to wear - she often covers up if she’s going to a nightclub or whatever as she doesn’t like the unwanted attention she gets if she shows a lot of skin - her choice nothing to do with me

OP posts:
Original poster
coffeegirl73 · 22/06/2025 00:33

I’m confused as I’m starting to realize my whole upbringing and younger years I didn’t question anything. There’s such a disparity now on the one hand I see women head to toe in black with a niqab covering their faces and on the other hand I see semi naked young women. I’m trying really hard not to judge everyone’s choices but it was drilled into me you know don’t show too much cleavage etc etc that modesty is something to be proud of . But is it.

OP posts:
Drangea · 22/06/2025 00:33

Why is it nonsense?

ObliviousCoalmine · 22/06/2025 00:32

It’s confusing you because you’re trying to argue a point you don’t understand yourself. Because it’s nonsense.

Drangea · 22/06/2025 00:32

I understand modesty as choosing to dress with most of your skin covered and your general shape disguised.
Or course you can bare whatever you want but women who choose to dress modestly don’t want to bare much.
Probably you could explain that in some cultures women are forced to dress modestly and have a discussion about how they are t allowed to choose how to dress.
In others, women are free to choose but may prefer to dress modestly because their beliefs dictate it, it’s more comfortable, they prefer not to show their shape and skin etc etc,
Am I missing something? Whats the difficulty explaining it?

zaicandy · 22/06/2025 00:31

I can see both sides, I’d hate to see my kids go out wearing a boob tube and shorts with their arse cheeks hanging out. But essentially it’s not up to you to tell her what to wear, she’s a grown woman.

TinyTempest · 22/06/2025 00:28

I can’t explain it to dd though - she just keeps saying but why shouldn’t women bare whatever they want . It’s confusing me

But this doesn't indicate that she doesn't understand?

It just indicates that she doesn't agree with it.

I don't know why you're confused?

angelikacpickles · 22/06/2025 00:27

"is it just another outdated misogynistic concept designed to keep women under control".

Yes.