Boyfriend doesn’t want me to wear makeup “hates it”

Do you actually like being with him? He sounds a total pain in the neck, and you'd be better off without him.

Continually criticising someone will undermine their confidence, and it sounds as if this is happening to you. He is then compounding it with a bit of gaslighting- “oh you can’t take criticism, you’re too sensitive” as if he is the arbiter of correctness in the world.

Don’t let him tell you how you should feel. I grew up being told my feelings were wrong and it’s contributed to quite serious problems for me in relationships and with my mental health.

I would rethink this relationship if I were you. It won’t make you happy in the long term.

Tell him to sod off.

My bf has said to me I like it that you don’t wear much make up. So as I am skint I have used this as an excuse to not bother getting my eyelashes and eyebrows tinted any more (I’m very fair and I can’t be bothered doing it myself.) But recently we went to a party and I put on lots of make up. He didn’t mention it or tell me I shouldn’t. So I think your bf is going too far telling you not to wear it. I agree that you should go to a make up counter and make sure you are wearing what is right for you. Then once you know you have the colouring etc right you can tell him to back off. With controlling behaviour though it’s like a boiled frog. Slowly getting worse. Little things you don’t even notice. This will be one of many. If it’s in many areas then you need to get out.

His comments make me think he is controlling and insecure, and is finally showing the OP who he really is after keeping up an act until recently.

He’s controlling
He’s insecure

He doesn’t get a vote. You’ve heard what he thinks and him repeating himself when he knows where you stand is a problem.

Comments about your make up are the tip of the iceberg - please leave him! He's a nasty, controlling, abusive bully, and YOU DESERVE BETTER!

He sounds controlling, if you stop wearing makeup, what else will it be your clothes, going out, what friendships you should have? Make it quite clear, it is you decision whether you apply makeup or not, wherever you go or what you are doing and if he makes further comment and cant accept that, then the relationship will end. This is not about not accepting criticism, this is all about control.

If you like how you look, then ignore him or bin him.
What you wear whether it is clothes or makeup is your choice. If he's not accepting your choices then he's trying to change you, and that's a big no no.
I put up with man like that myself when I was younger.. Knowing what I know now, I would up and leave at the very first hint of that behaviour from someone now.

Edited for typos.

Don't let him move in with you, ever

Op, leave this man. I mean it. I had one of these- didn’t like me putting makeup on, but had it as the thinly veiled “I like you natural”. Which is wild because I was only wearing a bit of mascara- hardly looked like a glamour model 🤦‍♀️

Well, I wish I’d listened to my gut feeling about that. It was the tip of the iceberg. He was a controlling, lying narcissist (I know that gets bandied around on here but he’s the only person I could truly describe as that).
So I mean it- just leave him. Your partner should be lifting you up, not continuously bringing you down.

He sounds tedious. You need to learn to stick up for yourself or bin him. He will grind you down!

More red flags than the Communist party conference.
Dump him.
Dump him now.

Dump him before his controlling ways mean that he dictate how you look, what you wear, where you go, how ofter (if ever) you see your family and friends.

I’m putting some makeup on right now, as I have done every day for decades. No one is criticising. Freedom!

He sounds absolutely awful. It’s better to be in your own than with a twat. Do yourself a favour and get rid!

I've known a couple of men who said this to their partners. The make up looked fine, they just didn't want their partners going out looking nice. It is controlling.

He is controlling you and it will only get worse. You need to have serious discussions over this but if he isn’t prepared to.change you need to end the relationship.

@itsprobablyjustaphrase It’s ok to not take all criticism. There’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t have to take all criticism on board. It’s up to you to decide what criticism is worth taking on board and what criticism is worth dismissing or rejecting.

There is a big difference between constructive criticism (which is useful to take on board) and criticism that is about tearing you down or chipping away at your self esteem/self confidence or to just make you look or feel bad (which is not useful to take on board).

Someone once advised me that when it comes to criticism, before you take it on board, evaluate it. Ask yourself: is this criticism warranted, do I actually deserve this criticism? Can this criticism actually help me to improve or to do something in a better way or solve a problem? In other words, is it constructive, helpful or useful? What is the person criticising me trying to achieve? Are they trying to help me, hurt me, or just make themselves look better by making me look worse?

Speaking as someone who ignored red flags and went on to be married for 2 decades to a controlling abuser, please leave and don't look back. It only gets worse.

If he hates makeup, he has every right not to wear it. And you have every right to wear it if you like it.

He’s chipping away at your spirit where you will be too frightened to do anything.
His constant criticism will leave you walking on eggshells if you aren’t already.
Get out now while you can as it will get worse.

Please wise up.

This will get worse.

You've been told already many times on this thread that he's controlling about makeup. Now it's clothes. Bet there's an alphabet of things he picks over about you.

Don't be a fool. Finish this now.

Sounds like my cousins abusive husband. Sadly he successfully cut her off from all of us.

I did her wedding makeup and he kicked off massively about it. She looked so beautiful and he hated it. Because he knew he was punching WELL ABOVE his weight, and wanted her to look like shit so that no other man would try to take her.

She bought into his abuse and has become slowly more dowdy and less "her" over the years.

This is not a keeper. You need to get rid and start again with a man who says "WOW!!!" when you walk in not "Get that crap off your face".

This is all about him and his insecurities.