Boyfriend doesn’t want me to wear makeup “hates it”

Laughing it off is all very well but to live with someone who does this so often would be SO draining and demoralising.

I think you need to question his constant criticism and ask WHY he does it.

No one is perfect, and I'm sure he has lots of nice characteristics, but sometimes faults in a character need to be addressed when they become too much.

Why would you stay with this hypercritical pillock? I mean it! WHY WOULD YOU STAY?

His opinions are unpleasant, uninformed, uninteresting, and unnecessary. What is left.

Dump him and don’t ever accept someone who isn’t delighted by you.

You mention kids @itsprobablyjustaphrase , are they his children?

What is your housing situation? Is it your name on the mortgage / tenancy?

This man is no good and he will insidiously erode any self esteem you do have. It's all relatively subtle at the moment but it will increase.

Please, please, please take a leap of faith before he completely breaks you. Ask him to leave. You are better and stronger than this.

Nothing about his behaviour is ‘being kind’.

He’s trying to destroy you so you have no other option than to stay with him.

Please don’t. Please stand up for yourself, push back. Go to counselling- on your own- and learn how to dig in.

I used to be with a man like this, it was hell for 10 years.
My advice would be end it now, work on your self esteem and find a man who worships you. They are out there. Once you've worked on your own self esteem, realised you can do it all by yourself, you won't allow these type of men around you.

The fact he knows you've had an eating disorder in the past, yet is critical over what you're eating, and your weight. This is probably the biggest red flag, and there are plenty. From where I am sitting he's trying to push you back down the eating disorder tunnel. You lack confidence and self-esteem and he's slowly eroding what you do have away. He's perfectly aware of what he's doing. He wants you to be a shell of yourself, completely under his control with no views or opinions of your own. He's abusive, it's that simple. Please leave him.

^ YES

He's controlling. He knows it and you know it. At the moment he's just testing the waters with the make-up. But like the commenter above said, then it'll be clothes, your body shape, where you are allowed to go, who you are allowed to speak to, who you are allowed to see.

Tell him once, strongly and in no uncertain terms to shut the fuck up, and see what happens. If he stops, okay. If he doesn't - then you've got all the information you need.

Why does it need a rethink? If OP likes it like that she can do it however the hell she likes.

No. This is horrible controlling behaviour and he’s absolitely destroying your self esteem. How fucking dare he. This won’t get better and I would be ending a relationship with somebody who is an absolute arsehole but disguises it as “you can’t take criticism”. Wonder how he’d feel if you said his cock was a bit small or his hairline is receding.

My controlling ex did this to me so I wouldn’t have men looking at me (not that that was ever my intention) I left him 4 years ago and have never been happier.

You can do better than this piece of shit. You mention children. I assume they are not his? You sound a lovely person - please believe in yourself and get rid of him. He is doing you no favours for your self esteem. On the contrary he is chipping away at it with his passive aggressive remarks. You are worth more.

He is a controlling creep. Get out NOW! Run don’t walk.

But he didnt hate it when he first met you? Theres appreciating your natural face (no make up) but then there’s being mean - he is being mean. Especially when make up makes you feel more confident

Tell him to fuck off. What's the point of him?

I have a friend who insists on wearing makeup that makes her look ridiculous. There are lines everywhere and she somehow ends up looking a bit like a clown when she adds lipstick into the equation. Anytime I see her without makeup, I always mention how beautiful she looks au natural as she really does look a million times better. Is there any chance that's what's going on here?

He knows you have a history of an eating disorder and he’s commenting on your size and what you eat?! He’s not nice OP. You would genuinely be better off on your own than with someone who chips away at your confidence the way he is. He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t even like you from the sound of it. And he certainly doesn’t respect you.

Get out.

Theres nothing 'kind' about this jerk. And you're giving him amo to shoot you with. He knows you are insecure about your weight so he plans to knock you down about it.

Would you tolerate a friend making these snide, backhanded little remarks?

A partner should be a best friend. And, kind. Bare minimum.

He, is a bitch. And one who sees you as his enemy.

There is no excuse for his bs. It's only been 2 years. It sounds like you have no marriage/child ties to him. Good. Easy to dump the cunt and be free.

This relationship sounds like death by a thousand cuts OP. He's very slowly chipping at your self esteem. It's not a case of you can't take critzicism. If it was constructive and delivered in a kind and thoughtful way you'd probably be fine with it. He just seems to get off on picking away at people. I personally couldn't live like this.

Is he the parent of your child?

If not, why do you live with him after only two years? And why are you tolerating his criticism, and policing of your parenting?

I really dread to think how things will be when he starts (if he hasn’t already started) negging your child too.

I reiterate - this is not a healthy relationship.

But I can see you’re not listening …

Jesus op .! This is shocking . He knows you have an eating disorder that let’s face it could kill you if you spiralled and he says that shit.
I know you are venting here but you don’t need to justify a decision of leaving .
You can end it for any reason , this is a very massive one .
There isn’t a reason for his escalation except that it’s a natural progression for someone like him.

Please end this . You simply say it’s not working for you anymore . That’s your right .

It’s a huge red flag in my eyes. Wear what you like when you like. End of. However this needs addressing, as it feels like this controlling behaviour will escalate but only if you let it

He’s a controlling narcissist and this will only get worse.

Please do not stay with this man

I bet he'd respond with fury if you criticised him. He sounds like an absolute shit. Dump him but do it safely- make sure others are on hand. Abusers escalate when you try to escape. And he is an abuser.

A kind, loving partner is constructive, nurturing, encouraging, supportive and kind and constantly builds you up. A kind, loving partner says things like hey, it’s my turn to cook / that colour really suits you / it’s hot out there, shall I find your sun cream / hey love, you’ve smudged your lippy, here’s a tissue / you sit down, I’ll wash up etc.

Does your ‘partner’ do this?

It sounds as if he is gradually grinding you down with all the little comments, making you doubt yourself. It’s not a healthy dynamic. Is this your first serious relationship? Do you have others to model what healthy relationships look like?