Self help books to change your life?

Stillundertheduvet · 2025-06-21T21:01:20+00:00

Posting here for traffic - I need to change my life. Work, fitness, social life, hobbies. I’m deeply deeply miserable every day. (To be honest it’s mainly the job) I’m 46 with school age kids and elderly parents so my choices are limited but somethings got to give. so I’m browsing self help books. So far looking at Suzy Welch “Becoming You” and “the happiness trap” by russ Harris. has anyone read them? Would you recommend? Or do you have any other recommendations?

AtomicBlondeRose · 22/06/2025 18:36

Let Them is very good.

The best one ever is the Power of Now by Ekhart Tolle but you have to be ready to listen to it. I started it about three times before I really read it, but since that time I've read it through multiple times and find something new in it every time.

thetorturedpoetsdepartmentssecretary · 22/06/2025 14:23

Great thread. Following with interest.

I've enjoyed all of Matt Haig's books.

Imbluedalale · 22/06/2025 13:53

Amuseaboosh · 22/06/2025 12:47

Love this thread!

Chimp Paradox
Another one here for Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory
Atlas of the Heart Brene Brown
The School of Life Alain De Bottom
The Cow in the Parking Lot

While here, can anyone recommend books for coping with and learning about attachment. My best friend is married to a classic avoidant and she has an anxious attachment, largely due to abuse she suffered as a child. Any direction would be helpful :)

This is a great book for avoidant attachment xx

amzn.eu/d/aS8KSiz

Amuseaboosh · 22/06/2025 12:47

Love this thread!

Chimp Paradox
Another one here for Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory
Atlas of the Heart Brene Brown
The School of Life Alain De Bottom
The Cow in the Parking Lot

While here, can anyone recommend books for coping with and learning about attachment. My best friend is married to a classic avoidant and she has an anxious attachment, largely due to abuse she suffered as a child. Any direction would be helpful :)

Sajacas · 22/06/2025 11:48

Not a self hep book as such, but a book that will help pretty much anyone who thinks feeling like shit is normal. It is not.

Change your diet, change your mind. By Dr Georgia Ede.

Or take an hour and watch any of her podium lectures on YouTube, for example at the PHC.

She is an American Psychiatrist who lays out the case for how modern diet impacts the brain, and how brain health impacts mental health and mood.

AhTheFuckening · 22/06/2025 11:16

Honestly @Stillundertheduvet, I've found it really helpful to just be interested in this kind of thing generally, and to read different books that I think I might like. I feel like I take some things from some books, and other things from others. Over time, I've built up a hotch porch of things that work / resonate for me.

Hollyandben · 22/06/2025 10:30

I’ve bought several books as well. Here’s hoping I’ll have the time and energy to read them

Original poster

Stillundertheduvet · 22/06/2025 10:29

RedBeech · 21/06/2025 22:57

Atomic Habits is a great book. But... if you have ADHD it doesn't work. It makes so much sense but it isn't really suitable for ND people. Just pointing this out, as I think James Clear is a brilliant self-help guru among a world of charlatans, but even he isn't right for everyone.

Interesting..! I’m autistic - I wonder if I need to seek out literature for people with autism

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AhTheFuckening · 22/06/2025 07:08

@RedBeech, can you possibly link to the Stoics thread? I've found some of their teachings really useful.

HelpMeRonda · 21/06/2025 23:37

RedBeech · 21/06/2025 22:59

She has some alluring ideas, but she is problematic. She thinks people bring cancer on themselves by not having enough positive thoughts. From the same era, Susan Jeffers is completely sane, sound and factual.

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hmmm, I'm not sure that's exactly what she's saying, though it's a long time since I've read her books.

My understanding is that traumatic experiences we have experienced, particularly in childhood result in a lot of negative patterns about our bodies and about our lives.
This can result in us subconsciously attacking our own bodies resulting in many of the illnesses that people suffer from.

EscapeToSuffolk · 21/06/2025 23:35

I like Ajahh Brahm's talks on YouTube. He does one every Friday along with a short meditation.

I've read a lot of self help books and usually most of the useful information is in the first chapter - the rest it padding. I like Genevieve Davis's manifestation and magic books, particularly Magic Words which is about using positive language to change your perpective on your life.

MidnightMusing5 · 21/06/2025 23:02

I can’t recommend any books , but the quote

“you are living someone else’s dream’

makes me more grateful and happier with my lot.

blackbirdevensong · 21/06/2025 23:02

Sounds left-field, but try Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer. Not a traditional self help book, but fantastic for stimulating your brain in ways you wouldn't necessarily expect.

RedBeech · 21/06/2025 23:02

Anxious2024 · 21/06/2025 22:46

Following! Interesting thread, thank you.

I am miserable too - mainly lonely and living in complete disarray.

I really recommend Feel the Fear for turning life around.

Also, there's a thread on here of people who follow the stoics - Marcus Aurelius etc - self-help gurus from Ancient Greece. I learned so much about friendship from Aristotle's The Nichomachean ethics. It totally transformed what i thought friendship was and made me much less lonely and happier. Not as accessible as modern writers but the ideas are profound.

RedBeech · 21/06/2025 22:59

RareMaker · 21/06/2025 22:48

Louise Hay is a classic

She has some alluring ideas, but she is problematic. She thinks people bring cancer on themselves by not having enough positive thoughts. From the same era, Susan Jeffers is completely sane, sound and factual.

RedBeech · 21/06/2025 22:57

Atomic Habits is a great book. But... if you have ADHD it doesn't work. It makes so much sense but it isn't really suitable for ND people. Just pointing this out, as I think James Clear is a brilliant self-help guru among a world of charlatans, but even he isn't right for everyone.

OneCalmFish · 21/06/2025 22:50

Oh I loved one called 59 seconds think a little change a lot. It’s literally the only one I’ve ever read and I keep meaning to replace it. So many helpful things but the tip I remember most was how something as simple as holding a pen in your mouth can change your mood, has experiments etc

FunPlumZebra · 21/06/2025 22:50

Peanutbutterflies · 21/06/2025 22:22

Listen to rangan chatterjees podcast he interviews so many different inspirational people and has written books too.. I was listening to his most recent epsiode with someone called Kirsty Gallagher and it was really interesting and well worth a listen for self help

Another vote for this one. He has introduced me to so many brilliant things, including let them and atomic habits, which I see are also mentioned here by others. Four thousand weeks by Oliver burkeman is another I first heard of on the podcast, as well as the body keeps the score and his excellent episode with Edith eger, who is truly amazing. Rangan is a treasure trove!

Happydays20000 · 21/06/2025 22:48

What’s your dream by Simon Squibb is a great read

Anxious2024 · 21/06/2025 22:48

Stillundertheduvet · 21/06/2025 22:47

Sorry to hear that @Anxious2024 I hope things improve for both of us

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Thank you, I do too 💚

RareMaker · 21/06/2025 22:48

Louise Hay is a classic

Original poster

Stillundertheduvet · 21/06/2025 22:47

Anxious2024 · 21/06/2025 22:46

Following! Interesting thread, thank you.

I am miserable too - mainly lonely and living in complete disarray.

Sorry to hear that @Anxious2024 I hope things improve for both of us

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Anxious2024 · 21/06/2025 22:46

Following! Interesting thread, thank you.

I am miserable too - mainly lonely and living in complete disarray.

Original poster

Stillundertheduvet · 21/06/2025 22:44

RedBeech · 21/06/2025 22:43

Also, if you smoke, Alan Carr's book on how to give up smoking works like magic. I went from 30 a day to none at all before I was half way through the book, even though he suggests you keep smoking until you finish reading. Cigarettes just revolted me by the time I was a few chapters in, despite having smoked pretty heavily for a decade.

Me too! That’s the reason I have faith in self help books

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Original poster

Stillundertheduvet · 21/06/2025 22:44

Great suggestions, thank you. I will research them all.

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