Not to want my young adult son having sex in my house

He is absolutely entitled to have sex with his girlfriend. You are absolutely entitled not to have your ears invaded by sounds of him having sex with his girlfriend.

I think we’ve strayed off topic here a bit. It’s your house and you can have any rules that you like but if it feels infantilising to tell your 23 year old son that he’s not allowed to have sex in your house then perhaps you could tell him that he is not allowed to have sex that you can hear. It’s called a private life for a reason. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to hear you having sex. He can have sex while you’re out or he can be quiet about it.
My parents admittedly didn’t live in a new build but tiptoeing across the landing for silent sex with my boyfriend (who was being made to sleep in the guest room) worked ok for my early twenties

There's always one!

You'd need to ask my mum that, but I don't see why it's a problem? She's still with my dad (I'm the oldest) and she did a bloody good job of raising us.

A lot of children are born via accidents and unplanned pregnancies (my DS was) and are very much wanted. The manner of conception doesn't really matter as long as that child is loved. I was 35 when DS was born, before anyone starts.

It’s really OTT that he thought it was a good idea to go on holiday with her and her young child after knowing her for a month.

She is an idiot for agreeing to him meeting her child after a month, regardless of the circumstances.

This has disaster written all over it for one or both of them.

This scenario is mind blowing to me. 23 years old living at home, having sex in his bedroom of his mum’s house with a 24 year old girlfriend who already has children and lives an hour away.

Grown adult children treating parent’s home as if they are all flatmates, with absolutely no real responsibilities or experience of independence willing to have a baby. On whose buck, OP?

This is appalling entitlement.

I'm pleased to hear this mum has so far had some boundaries around her child (i hope you changed her name)

The fact your son thought it was appropriate to try and invite himself on this mums holiday with her child after 5 weeks is concerning to me.
Coupled with the conversation you overheard I'd be worried.

I hope you're able to have a conversation with him, but as he wants to shut talks about it down, I'm going to guess he won't take advice from you.
Is there a male role model/relative he trusts that he may listen to?

I hope it works in the future.

He soumds very immature and needy.
He knows her 5 minutes.
Does he work?
Is he building a career?
Or is having babies with the first woman he meets his ambition?

Don't hesitate to spell it out to him.
He sounds very naive.
Pussy footing around won't help him.
His fantasy bubble needs bursting.

I would say no more hook ups in your house.

As I say, paper thin walls and I was in the middle of texting a friend.

Don't worry - your friend can’t hear your son humping via text.

Do you feel better now? 😶‍🌫️

Sorry but it’s he’s not his.
‘his’ means ‘belongs to him’.

Baffled by the number of posters who think it's a good idea for a man to " try for a baby" when he has known his girlfriend for 5 weeks and cannot afford to even rent.

Well seen as he hasn’t met her child at all yet , I’m guessing having a baby together might be a bad move !!!!!
OP has already said she likes her …

Agree! He sounds like he thinks a baby = a toy or a pet.

It doesn’t sound like you stopped using protection 5 weeks in to your relationship with your now husband 🤷‍♀️

I have no judgement on her age. I think a lot of posters are pointing out she’s got a DC so ought to know the consequences of not using protection. It’s the rest of your life, and the life of a child you’ve got to think about. In her case, existing DC as well as any she makes with OP’s DS. Seems needlessly flippant of her to giggle about getting pregnant in this situation.

No respect for you whatsoever as if they'd walls are thin, he'll know this from hearing you on your phone or such.

Time to move out.

I wouldnt feel comfortable with my child having sex in my home.. You may want to have a nice talk with him that you need to draw the line with sex in your home until he actually marries this girl. That is how I feel about this, and I realize not everyone would agree with me.

Are you suggesting it’s a good thing to have 4 kids at 24?

And how does being an adult equal being ready to parent? What a thoughtless response, like your DS was suggesting getting a puppy. Children deserve to be born to people who want them, not somebody who wants a shag but just forgot the contraception

Whoop, whoop, I applaud you. As you say, you aren’t going to win approval from everyone but you are setting the rules in your home.

I allowed my eldest to have his partner stay and it was difficult because of the size of the house and the impact on his younger siblings. They completely overstepped and acted like it was an Airbnb. It taught me a lesson, and encourages them to move out when they’re financially independent

Admittedly my ds is 15 and not an adult yet so I don't know exactly how I would feel but I very strongly suspect at the moment he suggested getting her pregnant would be fins just so he can have sex I may well have shouted back...
" You'd better bloody not!"

Why

Seeing as you now know they're trying for a baby they need to get their own place.
Better its done now than struggling to arrange it late pregnancy.

I’d be so mortified if my parents heard me having sex that my partner and I specifically do not have sex when we visit. Sleep in the same bed but v PG13!! Agree with others that a brief word is needed about the thinness of walls and how grim/weird that is to hear them at it…!

Just remind him that the walls are thin and you can hear his conversations also, then just casually ask if he's moving out if they're planning a baby? Make it sound like your just curious rather than giving a lecture, that's what I'd prefer it would stop me lol I'd have cried inside if I ever knew my dad could have heard me.

I was 23 when I met dh and had a child from a previous relationship where ex cheated. I have been with dh for 15 years married for 10 and with another 2 kids. Im glad I wasn't judged and mil didn't get involved with our relationship. We also knew each other from school. We got engaged after 1 year and had a baby after 3 years. No one got involved and are still happily married.