Disappointed in DH's reaction

Next time he goes to the football, note the time he leaves and the time he returns. The next morning tell him you’ve planned out your runs for that week and you were shocked to realise you’ll be using x hours less than he did on his hobby. Say while you were unhappy about him scrutinising any time you spent out of the home it gave you the opportunity to scrutinise his, and motivated you to make sure there is more equality in your relationship moving forwards and that you get just as much free time as him. Then sit back and grin like the Cheshire Cat.

Your H is a huge problem.

I think it’s vital that you do NOT work your training plan to work around your current, DH centric timetable, eg super early weekday runs and long runs on a weekend day. You will become exhausted. Schedule your weekday runs and your H does the parenting then. If your H takes Saturday for his leisure, do Sunday.

Running wise it’ll be important to listen to your body. Even more so when your H is so rubbish. Not every body is capable of a marathon (many are of course but my body wasn’t, am not overweight, had run regularly for 10 years, kept getting injured while training and one was unfortunately permanent 😨)

Unless it's totally unavoidable I wouldn't use a treadmill - it's just not the same as road running.

You need to be aiming for at least one 20 mile run before the big day and a treadmill or walking pad won't prepare you properly for that.

You can totally do this!!

Please use his rudeness and insensitivity to put fire in your belly so to speak. You run and you train and you do this for you and you run that marathon! 👊

Others have covered the condemnation of your husband's behaviour so I will not do that. What I will say is that I would strongly recommend a ratio of at least 75/25% outdoor to treadmill runs for a marathon. I have trained for races using mostly the treadmill and now I have switched to almost exclusively outdoor running. When I made the switch, both my performance and my enjoyment skyrocketed and I felt so much better prepared in all aspects. Of course it's completely possible to train mostly on the treadmill but for me the more miles you put in outside the better your end result is going to be. Just a bit of advice in aid of helping you smash it and prove your husband wrong.

Sabotage.

He's trying to keep you down so he doesn't have to step up in any way. He's dimming your light so he doesn't have to do anything other than the minimum you've been settling for.

Stop settling.

The body comment was uncalled for. You see all sorts running distance.

You've got time to train for this. I know someone who worked 12 hours shifts and ran marathons. She started from her only activity being work. Her husband was supportive and kicked up his home and dad game.

He’s a twat and a lazy one at that. You need to be a good little wife and facilitate his life and enable him to be a non parent. Personally I’d lock him out!

Ignore the ignoramus. Having a goal and plan will get you there if you're already a runner.

Don't let him put you off!

PS make it crystal from here on in hell be expected to pull his weight so no bogging off to the football without advance agreement..

YANBU, I would ignore him and prepare for the marathon.

^^This

With bells on.

Please take this in @Roundandround1985

Marathon or not, the unfairness of your lot needs addressing

Well he was never going to be happy about being a parent that did actual parenting was he?

Another Prince amongst men.

Agree with this!!!!

Can you get a treadmill/ running pad? Then you don’t have to go out the house when he’s being a dick and has buggered off to football.

I'd use his disregard of your plans to make sure I nail it. Use it as motivation. Every time you feel like slowing down, get pissed off at him and let it fuel one last leg. Do it, OP. For yourself, out of spite 😁 and mainly, because why shouldn't you. Go smash your goals!

Haha yeah I know! I’m enjoying the fact that he cannot even fathom how much the dynamic has changed. It sounds big headed but I get a lot of attention, I am awful to him and he still wants to stay - it sounds awful but he has been cruel to me for a long time and I have zero feelings towards him. It is the end goal definitely.

Why do you tolerate his behaviour OP?

He really is a selfish arse, isn't he? Does maybe 5% of the domestic load, has as much time as he likes off to watch football, and makes it difficult for you to carry out your full-time job. And he resents you taking a bit of time back to do something for yourself.

Tell him he can like it or lump it, and make it very clear you're disgusted by his selfishness.

Excellent point. Turn your phone off while out running.
I don’t even know your husband and feel very disappointed with his reaction.
This is a rare opportunity for you so crack on! How lovely your friend also got a place and you can support each other ☺️

Every thread i want that emoji back. Mumsnetters are very funny people!

Your husband is a lazy, selfish arsehole. He's talking you down because his live in maid service, taxi service, childcare and general dogsbody might be at risk and he might just have to do something near to equal in the household for 6-9 months out of his entire life.

Stop facilitating him. Stop putting his career before yours trying to fit travel around his flexible work. Pretty soon you'll find you have more than enough time for training.

Though honest to god, if he genuinely treats you so poorly then you should be looking at the bigger picture in terms of whether he's worth staying for, and if you want your children to think thats a good model for a relationship.

I'm sorry but the dishwasher is not a designated job. Everyone puts their own dishes in in this house and whoever is around when it is finished and cooled can empty it. How old are your DC, you need to start them off early to help with this chore.

I do my own washing, DH does his own and DD does her own. Obviously your DC are too young but your DH can put the odd load own now and then

He's not pulling his weight

This pretty much sums up how I felt when I read your first post OP. Horrible little wanker of a man.
i was just wondering how my DH would react if I was in your shoes and he would be so supportive in all ways and asking what he could do to help me train.

You don’t deserve anything less than that.

This^^. He's being a wanker because he might have to step up.

So for every sat he gets for free time for football, you get the same time back automatically from him as part of him supporting you, to train. And it needs to be at a sensible time, so don't go squeezing your training in to suit him.

Then his lovely little holidays away. They might need to stop, so he can look after kids, home etc whilst your training programme grows. But my best guess - he won't and you won't make him. I still think he's a wanker.

Absolutely this
If my dh came out with that crock of shit that your dh was spouting I would definitely be running that marathon .. by hook or by crook