Would you expect a contribution in this situation?

Personally I think it’s weird that he brings food just for himself and not for you.

If he stays with you a lot he should definitely be contributing with some food or treats.

yet with it being MN it's automatically assumed that it must be a woman posting and talking about her boyfriend!

because in term of probability…. It is a very reasonable assumption to make

Come again? Where has the OP said she is a single parent?

You have read the thread?

It makes me laugh how people just make up any old shit on here, seemingly just to put the boot in 😂
Where has the OP said they were a single parent, and the other poster saying about benefits?!
They haven't even said who's who in this scenario - yet with it being MN it's automatically assumed that it must be a woman posting and talking about her boyfriend!
Could be the other way round, or could both be women....

This. Also they might be contributing in non-financial ways (chores for a household with DC vs for a single household, one more adult to supervise DC, etc)

Bluntly, no. I wouldn’t.
In fact it would be very weird to me if they even offered.

Having a guest a few nights a week doesn't make a big difference to energy and water costs unless they insist of having the heating up high or bathing four times a day. It would be nice if they bought you wine or flowers or took you out sometimes as a thank you, but I wouldn't ask them to.

No. I wouldn't even have them buy their own food. We would unofficially take turns. You have the convenience of mostly being at your place so it's very tight to expect them to pay you. And for what? A tiny percentage of extra leccy or heat on top of what you would use anyway.

I wouldn’t but fair enough if you wanted to. Surely it works out at an extra £10 per month, maybe £15.

i don’t think he should pay anything however I say this as long as he’s bringing food for both of you and not just himself!!
who pays for meals out? Treats?
Do you need the extra money?

Not sure I would ask for a contribution to bills but would expect them to buy some food and treats every so often.

I don't think one more person, in a multi-person household, will be adding much to utilities costs. Also, they are probably not saving at their own property, by the time you take travel into account. R

I’m in a similar situation and my DP pays for lots of treats, food top ups etc but no formal contribution. I wouldn’t want him to a this stage- that would feel like he had a right to a say in how my home is run and he doesn’t.

but I’m right aren’t I

Why would this ever be a thing?

Absolute nonsense idea, if I had a gf/bf who suggested I pay towards their gas/water/electric I’d laugh and then tell them we’re done.

I wouldn’t charge them unless they were using a significant amount of the utilities. Realistically how much water/ gas/ electric are they actually using?Presumably they're with you most of the time they’re at yours and so the lights/ TV etc are already on, you’d already be using gas to cook a main meal or heat the house anyway whether they’re there or not.

I guess they’re having a few showers over the week, charging their phone overnight, I can’t see it adding much to the general bills. I guess if you have a water meter and they insist on having a bath every time they’re over, if they want the heating on really high or if they’re washing clothes at yours and then want to also use the tumble dryer and your bills genuinely are going up due to them being there then maybe I’d consider charging them, in that case charge them the amount your bills have gone up since they started staying. However I wouldn’t charge them just for the sake of it if they’re not really using much beyond what you’d need to use anyway, they’re paying their own household bills and I expect the impact they’re having on your bills is probably balanced out by the fact you’re never having to pay to travel to theirs or to find childcare/ pet sitter etc and stay at each others homes an equal amount.

No.

Also wondering if this is a reverse.

Unlikely

just another single parent introducing a boyfriend into her kids homes far too early on

and then realising that another adult, especially undoubtedly a low earning one, is quite expensive.

Brings his own food? What a prince

No i wouldnt be expecting a contribution in that kind of scenario.
I assume they have to cover the cost of travel if they're staying over that regularly? If they're covering food then the extra expense to you is going to end up being fairly small, possibly less than their petrol!

Is this a reverse?

Regarding of what mn-netters feel, I’m guessing that you feel resentful of your partner living at your house half the week, and you’re paying everything.

You say they bring their own food - do they bring stuff for you as well, or do they cook their food in a house- share situation? Ie, they cook for themselves, and you cook your own food? Do you feel they are using your house as a hotel?

if they are not eating your food are they actually costing you anything noticeable?
Apart from a shower they are only watching the tv you’re watching with the light that you would have on and sleeping in the bedding you would have washed anyway. I don’t know what you could charge for as they already have a house so they are not being homed. Presumably they buy their own clothes and are not dependent on you in any way.

It's back! 😁

Why has my post been hidden? What’s wrong with making a joke about 17 hour showers?