Let dd(11) shave her hair?

@Barnbrack its not me putting her off, and nothing I say will change how she sees others behaving at school. She doesn't want to go through that, Im not going to forcibly cut her hair.

@soupyspoon I know. Seems to me the more "inclusive" society tries to be, the more divisive it is. There were loads of short or pixie cuts when I was at school too, no one cared.

(I know inclusive is the wrong word, but can't think of the right one. People (the children, their parents?) seem desperate to pigeonhole people. Whereas you could be a girl with stereotypical boy interests when I was growing up, now their classmates constantly ask if they're trans if they get good marks in a maths test 🙄

Never an original post lol. I’d still try the UC first, my DD looks brilliant with hers and it’s massively reduced sweating

I mean this beggars belief, when I was growing up, late 70s, early 80s all the girls had lovely short back and side cuts/pixie cuts.

Except me, because my mum was too stingy to get it for me because they need maintenance so I had a pony tail.

I got my short pixie and undercut by around 87, loved it

Whats gone so wrong here?

Try an undercut first see if that helps? If not she can go for the full buzz

That's horrific, why would you let your daughter be put off the hairstyle she wants? Surely you encourage her to make the hair decision she wants? Is it 1955 at her school?

I would get her a short pixie, short back and sides type cut, very nice, very Audrey Hepburn.

I’d suggest a pixie cut as a first step.

A pixie cut will grow out much better than a buzz cut if she hates it.

You may want to make this point to her as transitioning from a buzz is quite difficult and prone to a hedgehog phase (especially if she has thicker hair).

Maybe show her some pixie cuts and see what she thinks.

I’d suggest a pixie cut as a first step.

A pixie cut will grow out much better than a buzz cut if she hates it.

You may want to make this point to her as transitioning from a buzz is quite difficult and prone to a hedgehog phase (especially if she has thicker hair).

Maybe show her some pixie cuts and see what she thinks.

A friend of DDs has a shaved head. A friend of mine did at school too. I’d be a bit sad if my DD wanted to but I am not sure why - social conditioning? - as it really suits her friend.

Has she thought about an undercut? It it quite an 'out there' cut without the committal of a full buzz cut. A girl in dd2s class had one in yr2 and she looked great! She could tie her hair up and it was really obvious but when it was down you wouldn't know.

I'd let her, if she said she wanted it over weeks or months.

It's her hair, it'll grow back, and if she faces consequences (classmates behaviour etc) it'll be a valuable lesson about not being a people pleaser and doing her own thing regardless of what other people think.

But if you're uncomfortable with it I suppose an alternative would be to do it gradually, so first a pixie, then a shorter one, etc.

Holy fucking shit you’re everything that’s wrong with the world. ‘Take her to the doctor cos has a flat chest and square jaw’

take yourself to a councillor please and see if they can unpick your thought process here. So damaging.

Get it cut short first. See what she feels.

If she still has the urge to buzz - I'd say do it.

She'll have had the experience, the autonomy, the experimenting and may find she loves it - or she regrets it and cries. (It will of course then be your fault for letting her do it.) A learning thing.

I say go for it! It'll grow back if she gets bored with it.

@Barnbrack constant low level hassling mainly from the boys in their year and above. Crap like asking if they want to be a boy now, suggesting it's just because they've not yet kissed (or more) a boy and offers to rectify. Trying to push them into the boys bathrooms at break. Deliberate using of the "wrong" pronouns because only boys have such short hair. Enough to put DD off even considering a short cut.

There's some weird responses. It's a bloody haircut. In 6 weeks time it won't look anything like it.

My 14 yo son has quite an 'individual' haircut and for the last year all along I've said if its acceptable in school it's fine by me. It's given him a true identity and I like the fact that he's confident enough to own his choice.

I'd get a hairdresser to do it though even a buzz cut can look awful if not done properly

Why not suggest an undercut. She can have her hair up and the sides are shaved but down in a bob for other times. Best of both worlds.

Tell her no find ways to style her hair that she likes a buzz cut is ridiculous

Oldest dc did it and unfortunately he does not have the head shape for it. People kept asking if he was ill.

Could you go half way with shaved underneath

DD has been shaving her head since she turned 11. She's 18 now and occasionally grows it a couple of inches and dyes it before getting fed up and shaving it again.

Nobody ever teased her and she's never regretted it. It's her hair and I always said she could do what she liked with it as long as it fits with the school dress code.

It's her hair. One of my children had half their head shaved from the age of 8. It really suited her. I think it's important to allow children to learn how to have control over their body and hair is an easy way of doing it.

So? Loads of women have hair shorter than shoulder length.

How were they 'treated' for having shorter hair?

The issue is incase she regrets it when mum says she is insecure to begin with. Hair grows but it won’t have grown back to shoulder length by the end of the holidays.

😂 how is it nitpicking to ask why you're trying haircuts to exam performance for an 11 year old?!