DS accused of assault

And nothing OP has said suggests that this is what happened (yes, I am taking the OP at face value considering there is nothing else to go on).

OP would be best advised to 1, not take legal advice from Mumsnet, and 2, consult a solicitor. We don’t know that the police are even involved here at all, but the fact that the school have at least invoked them as a threat means it wouldn’t be unwise for OP to be cautious.

No. She clearly says that the victim has been fine with her son since the incident. I would have NEVER been ‘fine’ around the bully I switched schools to get away from!

So far, this seems more like a case of young boys with lack of judgement, personal boundary issues, & getting caught up in mob mentality, rather than a calculated attack and assault.

How about we practice some grace and cut this woman some slack? It sounds like a first offense and a bad mistake.

This is what the kids who attacked my youngest son did. Lawyered up and, at the behest of their parents, refused to answer questions from the police, or sign school statements. My son took over a year to recover from his injuries and massively underperformed in his GCSEs as a result. I find it absolutely sickening that there are people who are more concerned with protecting the perpetrators than teaching them to do the right thing and accept the consequences of their actions.

“Boys will be boys” 🤦🏻‍♀️

No. Your son is a bully and engaged with bullying another boy.

Parents like this are why schools are increasingly becoming unsafe for children. As a parent of a DC in primary who is being bullied for being Autistic, this fucking terrifies me

As OP has no idea what happened or the nature or extent of the victim’s injuries and suspects her son has/is lying about his involvement nothing can be ruled out so all possibilities have to be anticipated.
If there was planning involved and/or the attackers were were encouraged by onlookers there is a possibility of a charge under joint enterprise. under joint enterprise Involvement is defined by intent (planning) and incitement ( say by onlookers). You don’t have to lay a hand on someone to be held responsible for the injuries.
i would be wanting very clear answers from my DC about how victim and attacker came to be in that place at that time - as the victim says there were multiple attackers, this is important to show how/if this was orchestrated and who knew. Once they round up other alleged attackers and the pressure is on the little darlings will throw each other under the bus to save themselves. Best to get ahead of this.
Next up were weapons involved and where did the weapons come from, who else was there, what were they doing or saying when the attack took place, who if anyone rendered assistance to the victim after the attack.
The right answers are I had no idea an attack was planned, I had no hand in bringing victim and attacker together, I had no idea attacker had a weapon and no idea where the weapon came from, I said nothing to encourage the attack while it was taking place. Bonus points for rendering assistance following the attack, demonstrating compassion but not actually legally required

@Distraught2025 its only different when it is YOUR child as it’s shows how bad a parent you actually are. You do not want to admit that you have failed as a parent as YOUR child is clearly an aggressive bully. You completely minimised a pile on and serious assault to another child.

Well as hard as it would be to accept your son has told you he pilled on with the other kids, so we was apart of the assault. Maybe he didn’t do the most damage but he did take part in it.

You need to think carefully about this.

As it stands he victim has said he doesn't know who attacked him.

Unless there are other independent witnesses / cctv then there will be no case against your son and he cannot be expelled or prosecuted UNLESS he confesses to it . . .

You need to make him very aware of the consequences of behaving in this reckless way. He needs to realise people can get badly hurt and that he could face punishment through the court, however, you also need to ensure that he does not become the fall guy for this awful pile on.

If the police do become involved get lawyer present during interview and tell the school that he won't be making any statements without proper legal advice.Make sure your son understands this.

After putting the fear of bejeezus into him, I would also be looking to move him to a different school.

Exactly these are rotten hooligans. Anyone who has ever watched one of these bullying videos will feel exactly the same. I would feel such a failure as a parent if my child did this.

What a rotten child you have. He was part of a pile on? A second one ? You should be very ashamed that this is who he is growing up to be. That poor child who will now have to deal with a whole host of issues. I wonder what your wishy washy punishment will be for him?

So if your child were to be beaten up you think there should be consequences for the perpetrator(s) but if your child is a perpetrator you think they should escape consequences.

Super, just super.

If your ds was involved and the ha ha pile on is bad enough, he needs to accept the punishment and I think it shoukd be expulsion.

It was not 'messing around.' I am so sick of parents excusing their kids behaviour as 'messing around.' He was a part of a group that piled on another child that led to him being assaulted. The fact it is the second time indicates consequences were not severe enough the first time.

Surely though all the little thugs who took part in the bullying will name the same sole perpetrator and they will hopefully get the consequences they deserve.

That poster was talking about kids just witnessing a fight, not all stamping/kicking/joining in.

Look up the murder of Jack Woodley. 10 boys were there, only one stabbed him but all 10 were convicted of murder.

Your posts sound a lot like the old adage “boys will be boys” which is a dangerous, outdated thought. Boys also lie. I have five sons who are now young adults and I will tell you none of them were ever accused of assault or bullying. It’s not as moral as you and others make it sound.

My step daughter is like this, stolen things several times from school, friends houses, family, as well as purposely breaking other people's things, hurting people etc. She will deny all wrong doing even if someone witnessed it or had irrefutable proof, she will never admit what she's done. I find it extremely hard to deal with and she's only 9, I'm absolutely dreading the teen years.

I hope you've left this thread now op. MN really is the worst place to come for measured advice on stuff like this.

OP, your son obviously is a bully, but you think it's acceptable. Boys will be boys , eh?

'No Angel' is also code for ' Nasty piece of work who's parents accept it'

I'm hoping for your sakes but more for the victim , that your son gets the punishment and wake up call he deserves.

It can do under joint enterprise. If he knew this was planned and offered any kind of passive support or active encouragement regardless if he was the one engaged in the attack.

I never said that I was responding to.a pp.

Was it a pig pile? That would explain why he doesn't know who injured him they used to be popular in the late 80s early 90s in my area all the school used to say is do it on the grass only but playgrounds these days are more tarmac so bigger chance of injury

So a fight in a school playground between 2 kids but witness by another 20 means 21 people could get convicted of assault of the " loser" of the fight? Simply by being there Hmmm

You said earlier in the thread that you thought the pile on was a laugh, and then changed to say that you had punished him.

that suggests that you probably think that bullying behaviour your son exhibits is just ‘banter’.

@Distraught2025
It really sounds as if you’re trying to convince yourself…
You’re clearly in denial. I agree with others about the ‘no angel’ comment. They usually means they’re absolute horrors! By secondary school age the vast majority of kids know this sort of behaviour and bullying is not acceptable. Absolutely no way that a 12 year old doesn’t know right from wrong! You have two options here, stop making excuses and punish him or play it down and watch him become an absolute nightmare!