to have let them pay?

Don’t we give kids pocket money, birthday money etc so they can buy what they want?
They wanted something so paid for it. Your comment is unnecessary

Don't be so ridiculous and dramatic.
OP ignore judgemental twats, you've raised good kids there.

Agreed. If you had to respond simply telling her it really wasn't her business would have done. She was rude.

Ignore the woman your kids have learnt a valuable lesson about budgeting and how things do cost and I'd they want a particular thing they save/use money for it.

Too many adults/young people think they should just have because they want rather then the reality of it. Too many parents say I would do anything for or oh how can I say no.....doesn't teach the child anything infact it teaches terrible spending habits as dopamine hit comes from buying stuff!

Did you even stop to consider Shoxfordian that the OP might have been short on cash because she actually put the council tax money aside??

You are the better parent. Letting DC take initiative, letting them choose how to spend their money - on experiences as well as material goods. Teaching them that parental income isn't a constant never ending supply but can run out. These are great lessons to learn. Ensure your DC realises you are proud of them and not ashamed of yourself. I admire you.

One of my proudest moments as a parent was when we'd been out for the day as a family and my autistic DS said to his DBro and my DH, 'You catch the train home, I want to take mum out for dinner.' I'd supported him a lot through some very tough times and he wanted to show appreciation. He had chosen a cafe he could afford, which he'd heard was nice (and it was!) I was so so happy and will always remember that day.

They have learnt that money is finite. You told them there wasn't enough left in the family budget, they came up with a solution. They have been given choice over how they spend their 'own' money. They know they can't always get what they want immediately but will be motivated to earn money in future. Well done OP, you're raising great kids.

Brilliant parenting, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Kids are going to grow into thoughtful responsible adults I am sure.

How old are the children?

Of course it's fine.

Some people need to get a grip of themselves, frankly.

Hi OP,

I think it is great that your kids have spent some of their savings on an experience rather than tat/toys that end up in landfill.

We’ve always shared financial considerations with my eldest - in a gentle age appropriate way and I think it has served him well. E.g. we can’t have takeaway if we have already had one just recently and showing him the cost if we were to eat takeaway every day. Sometimes we have explained how many hours work after deductions an item costs to buy.

Most of us parents have only got so much money so sometimes it’s a case of “if you want that you will have to pay for it yourself”. If your children grow up knowing the value of money that will only be an asset to them.

Your children have learned one of the most valuable lessons in life than any child can learn — that there's no magic money tree, that money has to be earned and that some things cost money and they'll have to work out how to finance them themselves. I think you should give yourself a pat on the back and them a hug because they sound like great kids.

The person who tutted is an arsehole.

I think you did well as did your kids. I'm sure they were proud about being able to do it. Ignore that rude judgey person.

Totally fine! My brother’s children are still quite young and thanks to all the fivers and tenners they get from family, recently discovered they had over £100 each in their piggy banks. I asked what they wanted to do with some of it and they chose a day out. I bought food/snacks etc but they were both so proud of buying a thing ‘with their own money’. They couldn’t stop talking about it…I think it made them feel grown up or something.

It’s a nice life lesson and you should be proud of your kids. 👍🏼

But OP didn't have the money needed for what her children wanted to do. So then what do you expect her to do? Go without meals? Seller a kidney? Raid the local building society?

Why? Because I don't want my kids oversharing with strangers?

For the person behind them in the queue to form an opinion the kid/s must have said more than enough!! I'd have shushed mine up as soon as they started telling the cashier our financial choices.

That way nosy parkers have no ammunition!

What great kids you’ve got. Fab job!

As my daughter has got older, we started giving her pocket money each week so that she can have some independence. It teaches her the value of money and instead of needing to ask for things, she can decide herself whether it's worth spending money on, or whether to save.

We said to her we'll still buy what you NEED. You buy what you WANT.

I think it's normal to question yourself, it's mom-guilt. Your children wanted this. They chose to pay for it. I think on this occasion, it was OK. Go easy on yourself.

YANBU at all. And the person behind you sounds like an idiot.

Are you so out of touch with the real world you don't understand a lot of people have to be really careful with their money?
What a judge comment.

But she didn’t have the money and they wanted to go out, and they wanted to pay.
I think the ones disagreeing must have an abundance of spending money. You do realise that most in this country are struggling and not in this middle class bubble you exist in.
Your kids and you are brilliant OP, great initiative from them and learning the value of things

It's teaching them that money is finite, budgeting is important and not getting into debt for something fun is critical.

As someone who has had a job from the age of 7, i would have turned round and said "why, it's teaching them.the value of money, that they have to spend it wisely and if they want certain things in life there has to be sacrifice,"

It's not like they paid for you as well, they just paid for themselves because they wanted to go. Sounds fine to me.

Not only do I not tthink you are being unreasonable, I think you are an amazing Mum bringing up such sensible lovely kids. And I bet they will long remember their Mum thanking them for giving her such a lovely day out.