to have let them pay?

You know, I’ve been a parent for a million years and I have never heard any of these comments people claim others in the queue make. I think that posts like this happen because the OP feels uncertain and guilty and are seeking out opinions.@Motherofrascals Don’t worry-it’s absolutely fine. Your children sound great.

Absolutely the right thing to do. My daughter uses her pocket money for similar sorts of things and I think it’s fine. I provide what she needs, she makes her decisions with her own money (which is my my money too really!). I think it’s super important to teach the value of money as young as possible.

I think you and your kids sound fantastic. Having autonomy and learning there’s no magic money tree is a very valuable lesson. I’m honest with my kids over finances too.

We are reasonably well off and I will still say no if I think we’ve been spending too much recently.

im quite certain the tutting person has entitled kids and is up to their eyeballs in debt. I hope it didn’t tarnish your day too much.

I would much rather mine spent their money on a day out than on the random plastic tat they are so fond of! You gave them lots of options of other things they could do without paying, and presumably going to this place another time when you did have the funds would also have been an option, but they chose to pay themselves to go that day (and were clearly happy with that outcome!) Presumably the busy-body wasn't offering to pay, and she'd probably have found fault if you just refused to let them go as well, so stick to trusting your own judgement!

No, they just like to make themselves feel smug and superior by putting the boot into the OP.

Note that they didn't offer any helpful suggestions to the OP to make money last in amongst their judgmental vitriol.

You taught them the value of money and not everything is available as and when they want. Good life lesson and you did good. Don't feel guilty

Bullshit story.

if it's even true, it sounds like there was a lot of performance parenting going on 😂

So she should have said:
a) No you can’t spend your own money on something you’ve chosen to do or
b) Yes of course, let’s go into debt

???

FFS. Not comparable. The kids wanted to do a fun activity, the parent doesn't have any money, so the kids pay with their own birthday money. Can't think of a better use for it, plus the kids realise that money doesn't grow on trees, and learn about saving for things they want.

None of anyone's business at all - you do you OP.

Don't be be listening to the judgey judgey-sons. You know what's what.

Because some people, including myself at one stage of life when the dc were small, got to the end of the month just stretching our income to cover the month. It’s called life. It’s called the cost of living.

OP - your kids sound amazing!

YANBU. Sounds like it was good for them to figure out a solution and no doubt they felt proud that they were able to contribute and help out with a family problem. We didnt have much money when I was a child and I can remember feeling the same on the odd occasion I was able to help in some way. It really built my confidence.

Ignore the busybodies and the judgemental, they have no idea of the context and only enjoy making people feel bad while making themselves feel superior.

You've raised some great kids by the sounds of it.

Several people on here have asked the children’s ages. There was no reply from the OP. This happens such a lot now. People are so rude!

Spiteful. I can't imagine any children raised by you doing anything nice for anyone. Perhaps you're jealous.

Brilliant parenting and Ill be doing the same when my kids are older. Teaches them the value of money and I'd be so proud if my kids choose to spend it on an experience rather than tat!

I think you should be very proud of them. Great that they have the agency at this age. You empowered then to make this choice.

At Christmas these boards will be full of suggestions for people to buy experiences rather than physical items or games for their kids. It's got more value, not less, if it's the child themself making that choice.

Take no notice, OP. You taught your DC a number of valuable lessons today about budgeting and prioritising, and I bet they are getting a kick out of taking themselves out for a treat rather than always being 'taken'.

I wouldn't have believed it either until I read @Shoxfordian 's post. There are some nasty people among us.

I think it’s a good idea, kids have lots of toys. Clothes etc and days out cost so much money. As adults I often give experiences as gifts so letting the kids use their money for an experience I think it’s a good idea!

I don't see anything wrong with birthday/pocket money being used to buy a treat in the form of a day out as opposed to a physical object.

I bet your children felt proud they were able to use their savings in this way.

Bizarre someone in the queue said that to be honest. Almost as if it's made up.

Don't most people make their kids use their pocket money if they want to do something particular that costs money? Whats their pocket money for then?

How old are they? How much were the ticktets?

How old are the dcs?
I wouldn't want to pressure young children with the stress and responsibility of financial issues.

Is it normal to give your DCs the responsibility to choose a "no money day"?

I would have taken that responsibility myself, you need to show them you're.capable of looking after them. Give them a sense of security and safety.

So yes I would have held the boundary and not brought money into it.

You can teach about money and budgeting in other age appropriate ways.

When my dcs were younger we had a lot of financial issues and a lot of "no money days" but the kids never realised. As young adults now they had no idea how poor we were, and see their childhood as lots of fun.

Some people are awful! You did the right thing by letting them have some autonomy and being realistic about the family finances. As PP said they were probably telling the cashier because they were proud and it's a great lesson that saving now gives you choices later. Setting an example of making a choice, being realistic about money and also managing the budget are all brilliant parenting choices. You should feel good (and that they weren't ashamed, that's a good sign too)!