to have let them pay?

Do you not know anyone who is on a tight budget? Good for you.

I think quite rightly the children were happy and yes over sharing but that’s what children do, discretion will come with time and I’m sure as they are obviously brought up to problem solve this situation they will be just fine. They are children and I’d assume felt very proud to pay with their own money as they should be. What a great way to spend money making memories rather than on tat that ends up in the bin. I think it shows well raised children. Time will come when they won’t share as much information but they are only young and learning.

My kids do this. All their birthday and Christmas money goes in a pot and if they've had a few weeks where they have already been a bit spoiled by the bank of mum and dad, I will say to them, "I've spent enough on you this month, if you want to do xyz you will have to use your pennies" then they decide if they want to do whatever it is enough.
They are certainly not deprived and they know that life costs money and there isn't an endless supply of it! Crazy to me that someone would make a comment on it. I would rather my kids spend their money on activities and encourage them to do so, rather than buy more crap to clutter my lounge with!!

absolutely excellent parenting win!! seriously ignore the hate - well done!!

They need to learn money does not grow on trees, if they spend their own money, it might make them think twice about not constantly expecting the bank of mum to pay for everything!!

YANBU

The woman who commented was extremely rude, disrespectful and judgemental. Don’t let her appalling behaviour affect you.

I think it’s v important to show kids you can have lots of fun without spending a penny. Beautiful walks or bike rides, playing in the park or garden, outdoor games (cricket or rounders only need a cheap bat, tennis ball and some jumpers for stumps/bases). IMHO it’s not great parenting to teach kids that they have to pay to be entertained. Making your own entertainment makes you resourceful and innovative (important life skills).

Kids usually love walks, especially ones with a variety of landscapes in one walk (e.g. woods, meadows, streams), as they love discovering things. They can learn to identify different trees, plants and birds. You can look up local walks online, which guide you along and point out things of note. If you take buses or trains, you don’t have to go in a loop back to a car (and you can have the odd beer or can of Pimm’s along the way if that appeals).

Even when money wasn’t so tight, I never bought drinks or food when we went out or at the beach on holiday. We always took reusable bottles of water or squash (flask of hot choc in winter), filled rolls, fruit (grapes, sliced apple with a dash of lemon juice etc). Crisps, biscuits, cake etc. All in plastic lidded tubs so it stayed intact. Our food was always miles nicer than you could buy out, at a fraction of the cost and the kids could snack whenever they felt hungry. The odd ice cream, drink at a pub or maybe fish & chips on train home is all we’d spend money on.

As someone who sends kids money for their birthdays, I’d much rather they put it towards an experience or day out (or treats when out, e.g. rides, ice-cream) than more toys cluttering up their home, unless there’s something they really really want (or they’re saving for). Experiences and days out create memories and wonderful photos, whereas most toys are forgotten and rarely played with.

So, you’re quite right to be proud they offered to pay with their own money. They’re learning to make decisions, solve problems and understand the value of money from a young age. You’re never too young to learn to manage money.

Don’t feel guilty. You sound like a wonderful parent.

not at all unreasonable. Of course kids can pay for what they want once you have exhausted your funds! It’s a great lesson for them. Side note: What kind of lowlife kicks off in front of everyone about this?

Jeez! Ignore the negativity from those people and some people on this post! What your children have shown is that they can be responsible for things and have shown great teamwork skills. I'd be so proud of my children if they offered to use their money to do something they wanted to do rather than saving their pocket money for sweets and plastic tat like most do. If you're feeling a little off about it, you could always 'pay them back' bit by bit but honestly I really think (from this post) it's seems as though you've raised lovely, considerate kids ☺️ I really hope you all enjoyed your day

I think that's brilliant. I often encourage the children to do the same. They have savings from birthday and Christmas and sometimes use it to do an activity rather than spend it on toys. I always encourage them to take some on holiday too so they can buy extra treats over and above our daily budget. It's good for them to learn to budget and save this way.

Have I missed how much it was? I think that might make difference.

Yanbu at all @Motherofrascals and I think you are a brilliant mum who has raised some brilliant children. It's very sensible for them to understand there have to be boundaries on what you can afford and very sensible for them to have the option to spend their savings on an activity they enjoy.

Good for you. You could have equally have had the money and have got them to pay as it was an extra out of budget experience, and that also would have been a great thing.
I might start doing this with my kids actually :)
No business of anyone elses anyway.

I don’t see anything wrong with children choosing to spend their money on a day out/ experience. Would these people rather they spent their money on plastic tat or sweets?! Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks, you were all happy with the situation until some nosey parker butted in.

It would have broken my heart a little bit but I would never have said anything.

I do this too, and it works a treat with my 4yo who wants me to buy her something every time we set foot in a shop!

I think what you’ve done is great parenting. It’s no one else’s business. 😊

I quite agree and that person should have minded her own business, she didn't know your circumstances and I'd say the same if she did.

I think you're a fabulous mother! 💐

The Trunchbull has entered the chat!

I grew up what you might consider spoilt because our parents never bothered discussing money with us, and we could do any clubs or events we wanted. Nothing outrageous, just comfortable.

I wanted to keep the same lifestyle so I made sure I was always going to earn a good living for that 😂

Not burdening your kids with cash flow problem doesn't make them spoilt and entitled.

I’d have told them to mind their own bloody business. It honestly does my head in that some people think they have he right to comment on other people like this, absolute busybody!

Please don't feel guilty, least your children won't grow up as spoilt, entitled adults. A massive ick of I ever did see one.

You shouldn’t feel guilty, but you should probably have a conversation with your kids about discretion.

It's nothing particularly clever! Just as you say saying no to things in shops "unless you want to buy it with your own money" or telling them in advance when we go to a fete that mummy will pay for X & Y but they will need to save up/ use their pocket money if they want A & B. Or saying that I'll pay for a school trip but they have to use their money if their want souvenirs. Advanced warning often helps but I also love that in your case they were able to address an unexpected situation because of general savings - that's the next level!

One tip I do have that's worked a treat, though (especially for bigger items that they couldn't buy themselves or when you know they can only buy one thing that day but they haven't seen everything on offer yet) is to implement a system of 'taking a photo' of whatever it is they want. That way they can decide at the end of the day/ come their birthday or Christmas what it is they actually want between all the things they've taken a photo of.

The photo seems to satisfy the need to possess the thing in the moment (they have a photo of it, feel in control and are reassured it won't be forgotten about so no tantrums), there's no waste or regret, and you can have fun comparing and deciding which thing(s) they actually most at the end of the day / for their Christmas list when you go back through the photos together.

You'll also rarely struggle for present ideas on special occasions!

I nicked this from the internet years ago and it was a game change for toddler tantrums about buying things too!

FFS. Why is she running out of money at the end of the month? Because she is a single mother and the CoL is sky high and many wages/salaries don't begin to meet it, especially if paying for wraparound care. It's not her fault. Wake up.