To think kids aren’t the centre of the universe and shouldn’t be treated like they are?

Are you my neighbour?

I'm old and crabbit but I have raised five children to adulthood and what I'm noticing now is the lack of the use of the word 'no'. Sometimes 'no' is enough - a child doesn't need a full discourse into why it's not a good idea to eat a full bar of chocolate now because lunch will be in fifteen minutes and lunch is a good, nutritious meal that's been chosen to be carefully balanced to fulfill all their needs, whereas chocolate isn't. 'No' is all that's needed when the child is whining for sweets in the supermarket.

And sometimes the word 'no' needs to be administered at volume. It does not traumatise a well-balanced child to be shouted at occasionally.

It's all about balance. Everyone in society should be mindful that not everyone is the same as them, and exercise a little tolerance. Equally though, nobody should assume their needs and wants trump anyone else's.

Some parents might but then some parents always have done (remember Verruca Salt?). In the same way, many parents don’t just as many never did. My children and those of everyone in my circle would be told off for interrupting

Retired HT here so probably going to be flamed but I have a thick skin! 😂

There are some children (not special needs) in schools who have "centre of the universe syndrome" and they stand out from those who don't because they behave differently at every stage of development. Here are some examples:

• Take much longer to learn to share, wait their turn and wait until an adult is ready to give them attention;
• Constantly interrupt others, including adults;
• Need to be told instructions personally because they don't listen to group instructions;
• Take much longer to learn to regulate their emotions;
• Wind parents up to complain on their behalf;
• Lots more...

If your child is running around in a restaurant it's YOUR fault because he/she is too young, too tired, in an unsuitable environment for their needs or has "centre of the universe syndrome". The restaurant staff want you to keep your child at your table because there's danger from heavy trays and hot food/drinks. Most of the other diners want you to keep your child at your table because they've come out to enjoy a meal in a restaurant, not a soft play centre.

So parent-up, help your child deal with the word "no", stop giving in to every demand, teach them to wait, take turns and cope with the world as it is, rather than as they'd like it to be (eg all about them).

You're welcome. 💐

Yes. Of course. But not of mine, or of anyone else in the restaurant. Also, what's with dragging miserable grumpy toddlers round IKEA or other big shops late in the evening? Of course "he's tired". HE SHOULD BE ASLEEP IN BED, not in a massively overstimulating environment lit with daylight bulbs!

Oh dear, heat getting to you? Maybe it's also getting to the child you are referring to? Maybe it's parents weee out to celebrate a birthday. Maybe they don't go out much and decided to treat themselves. Maybe they've done it before and the baby was fine and they are surprised ? Maybe if you don't like noise and kids you should book dinner instead of lunch? Especially in the hot weather when kids are likely to be grouchy, hot and bothered.

God yes, this. My stepson is a product of so-called gentle parenting and all its done is raised a self absorbed, entitled, lazy young man. I used to think I was a bit too strict when mine were young but the difference is like night and day now!

As other posters have said, v little to go on in your post. No of course kids shouldn’t be taught they’re the centre of the universe, they’ll grow up to be arrogant A holes. But young children have very different needs to adults and a young child being tired in a restaurant is going to make them act out, they can’t just suck it up and deal with it like adults can, they simply haven’t learnt the skills yet. It’s the responsibility of the parent to make sure they get enough sleep and not to take them to restaurants if they’re very tired. Do you have kids?

I agree with the title but your post lacks a hell of a lot of context!

I keep seeing posts on MN that are along the lines of “my 6yo DS is acting really spoiled and bratty - I’ve explained to him carefully why this is not acceptable but he keeps doing it, what shall I do?”

Cue a load of responses like

Hes only 6, he can’t handle his emotions yet
Explain to him MORE clearly and MORE calmly the issue

And a load of other pandering nonsense and I’m sat there thinking “just tell him off!!”

Yes!

Mine too, for me. It's a rough old world out there that soon knocks your corners off. If you're going to survive at all you need at least one person who is always on your side.

Paying customers have equal right to enjoy the restaurant irrespective of their age. You may want to be more specific 🤷‍♀️

When my children were young, and I used to have conversations with my friends it was perfectly acceptable to tell the child to go and play or say "I'm talking, stop interrupting". But nowadays children just interrupt adults' conversations without even an apology and never get told off for it. It's like parents truly believe children are the most important thing on the planet and must be pandered to immediately.

They are the centre of my universe.

Yes. Maybe. Or not. Difficult to say.

On the whole, I agree.

Who should?

you should have taken your child out the minute it started disturbing the dining guests.

You feeling a bit hot and grouchy OP? Try having an ice cream and a nap. Sure things'll look better then.

The kid next door to us has Little Prince syndrome to the point where the parents can’t even have a conversation between themselves or with anyone else without him shutting it down. He’s 7

OP definitely has kids then, eh? 🤣

Exactly.

I have a sneaky suspicion it’s the OP who might need to accept they aren’t the centre of attention and their comfort and enjoyment isn’t an absolute priority.

Yes I think one of the major disservices we do children in these times is centre them all the time.

Im not really talking about restaurants etc.

That's a pretty passive-aggressive title for a post that's all conclusion and no story.