Would this have offended you? DP comment in shop

Well he doesn’t blatantly eye them up because I’ve never seen him do it 🤣 but also I don’t eye other men up so it’s perfectly feasible.

Not even when he thinks that his OHs bum would look just as good? Because op noticed the bum too, don't forget. So when he suggests that she gets the same trousers, is he then supposed to pretend he didn't notice that, when she questions him further?

So you are advocating that he does what at that point? Lie?

I don’t think my “feelings” are any bigger than yours deary.

Of the two of us, I’m not sure the insecure one is the one saying I’m confident my DH wants me regardless of who else is about rather than the one who genuinely believes her DH doesn’t see any other woman as attractive. Lord above, either he’s done a right number on you or you’ve done a right number on him

If you genuinely believe he doesn't, you're deluded.

You’ve got some pretty big feelings about this and are being weirdly defensive which is screaming insecurity but ok, whatever you have to think to convince yourself 😁

Ok. You can keep on living in ignorant bliss that your husband doesn’t notice other women. I’m perfectly happy being in an honest relationship. Personally, I’m much happier knowing my husband sees other women, notices they exist and still chooses me than hysterically convincing myself that he thinks I’m the only person on the planet - that’s not love, that’s desperation.

I know it might be hard for you to comprehend here but some people really only have eyes for one person at a time. Just because your partner checks other women out and you pretend to be ok with it, doesn’t mean that happens in every relationship.
And your misogyny is showing if you think I’m being some sort of ball buster who doesn’t let my husband look at other women…

So it’s fine if he does it as long as he’s dishonest too? Sounds like a fantastic relationship

No, it’s a ridiculous reach to think that saying he wants OP to buy trousers is perverted and saying he prefers other women.

And, as for the bizarre ignorance of pretending you and your partner don’t notice other people… if you’re saying you don’t then you’re a liar and if you’re saying he doesn’t then he’s one too.

I would hate to be in a relationship where my partner blatantly eyes up other women but we’re all different I suppose 😁

Oh behave yourself. This is a ridiculous reach of a comment even by mumsnet standards.

YANBU
He needs to keep those thoughts to himself
1 he was ogling her 100%
2 who the f does he think he is telling you to get some.of those trousers. I would be massively offended and I'm quite thick skinned. LOve me for who I am, what I look like and what I choose to wear. We are not wearing something to please men. Just F OFF

I probably would have felt a pang of insecurity too. Maybe next time you see an attractive man in swimmers, say to DH could you buy some of those, because I'm really enjoying the view. Chances are, it would go down like a sack of crap.

Honestly, I’m surprised he’s brave enough to say a single thing to you with how determined you are to twist things and be offended. Poor bloke probably can’t even breathe too hard without accusations.

I think it's creepy and objectifying. Shopping trips with my dp generally involve no comments on anyone's bum, mine or other women's.

Not by saying how great someone else's bum looks.

A kind partner would absolutely tell their other half that they think someone would look great on them, especially knowing they have body issues.

Of course he was, which is why he asked OP to get herself a pair.

Clue: the phrase "enjoying the view" does not refer to a pair of trousers. He was not referring to how nice the trousers looked.

And how about him being aware of what she's like? A kind partner, knowing she had body issues, wouldn't draw attention to a pair of trousers that looked great on a more conventionally attractive bum, would he? What about that context?

That's fine. As I said, you do you.

But op also acknowledges that she has body issues, so this will impact how she interprets it. And unless it's a very new relationship, if that's the kind of person he is, she would be aware that's what he's like, and know for sure that's what he meant.

As I said - context is important.

That's not what he did though, is it?

They both noticed how nice the trousers looked, and he commented saying he'd like OP to get herself a pair because of how good they looked.

Stop reaching so much, you're going to do yourself an injury

I certainly enjoy living my life in a relationship where my partner doesn't tell me what great arses strangers in the supermarket have. Even when it's not the opening line. Especially so if I am insecure about an aspect of my appearance.

So, if there are men who would do that, and the OP describes her man doing that and says "I think he wasn’t making an observation at her fashion choice, but was being sleazy about her appearance and made me feel bad in the process", then, no, I am not convinced by his good intent.

It’s not the same though is it because she’s (assuming) a straight women thinking about another women whereas he’s making a comment to his partner about someone else.

I have to say, I would hate to be in a relationship where you can't acknowledge that other people are attractive, or have nice figures, or good taste in clothes.