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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have insisted on DH doing his ‘business’ at work when we were down to one bathroom

465 replies

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 08:36

I told my friends this last night who found it amusing so would be interested to hear if they are the only ones!

We were down to just our upstairs bathroom this week as the downstairs bathroom was being re-done (finally finished yesterday afternoon).

Given the heat, DH was told that he should do his usual morning business when he arrives at his work rather than use the upstairs bathroom, as I didn’t fancy the smell festering all morning in this heat.

DH was fine with this - AIBU to have made such a request?!

OP posts:
Fingeronthebutton · 21/06/2025 11:24

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 08:36

I told my friends this last night who found it amusing so would be interested to hear if they are the only ones!

We were down to just our upstairs bathroom this week as the downstairs bathroom was being re-done (finally finished yesterday afternoon).

Given the heat, DH was told that he should do his usual morning business when he arrives at his work rather than use the upstairs bathroom, as I didn’t fancy the smell festering all morning in this heat.

DH was fine with this - AIBU to have made such a request?!

I have no words. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Flashahah · 21/06/2025 11:23

titchy · 21/06/2025 11:09

Oh a frequent poo poster….

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The things people do for amusement!

PluckyBamboo · 21/06/2025 11:23

Must be awful to live in a house with no opening windows. I feel for you.

Poppyseeds79 · 21/06/2025 11:22

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 09:03

We technically have the en-suite too, but that has always been firmly out of bounds for anything but a shower!

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So not even a wee in there? Gosh your family must be very uncomfortable a lot of the time with your weird bathroom rules. Probably all have UTI's and chronic constipation.

ColinCaterpillarsNo1Fan · 21/06/2025 11:22

Keep the windows open and then ask him to bleach, spray and clean the bathroom after use.

He also needs to start using a prebiotic tablet to introduce good gut bacteria. Might be worth checking his diet & arranging a health check to see if there's anything else going on. It's not normal to have such festering bowel movements in a normal healthy person.

https://www.mycrohnsandcolitisteam.com/resources/stool-smells-and-what-they-mean-ammonia-metal-and-more

Stool Smells and What They Mean: Ammonia, Metal, and More | MyCrohnsAndColitisTeam

Stool, also called poop, comes in many shapes, colors, and textures. It can also give off different smells. These changes may offer clues about your health

https://www.mycrohnsandcolitisteam.com/resources/stool-smells-and-what-they-mean-ammonia-metal-and-more

Muchtoomuchtodo · 21/06/2025 11:20

Did everyone who lives there have to do the same? If not you are being massively unreasonable.

SunnyViper · 21/06/2025 11:17

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 09:03

We technically have the en-suite too, but that has always been firmly out of bounds for anything but a shower!

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Fucking hell OP. You are massively unreasonable. What’s the point of having toilets if you can’t use them?

ThisAquaFinch · 21/06/2025 11:17

We only have one bathroom permanently, shall I tell my husband he can never poo at home?! I think it’s silly- of course poo will smell!!

Bigcat25 · 21/06/2025 11:16

Why not light a match instead of going all the way to the gym?

Coffeeishot · 21/06/2025 11:13

We only have A bathroom that's it 1 toilet to do our "bussiness" i can't imagine being so uptight to send my husband elsewhere to shit.

Pinty · 21/06/2025 11:10

We have lived with one bathroom for years I wouldn't dream of suggesting anything like this!

Alltheyellowbirds · 21/06/2025 11:10

ilovesooty · 21/06/2025 11:02

Can you imagine the responses if a man posted describing his abusive behaviour and said his friends found it amusing? I'm pleased so many people think the OP is out of order and have described this as the abuse it is.

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Controlling when and where a person can allow their natural bodily functions to happen is absolutely abuse, and there’s no way it would be deemed acceptable if the sexes were the other way around. Or if a man was controlling how a woman dealt with her periods or her pregnancy.

No-one gets to control another persons body.

BorninJuly · 21/06/2025 11:10
  1. Some families only have one loo 100% of the time
  1. If his stools are always that unhealthy he needs to go to the gp/change his diet
  1. This is controlling behaviour
titchy · 21/06/2025 11:09

Bjorkdidit · 21/06/2025 10:50

You posted a couple of weeks ago about how your DH wasn't allowed to do 'his business' in the ensuite didn't you?

You. Need. Help. It's a toilet. It's sole purpose is for the hygienic disposal of bodily waste. We are incredibly fortunate in this country to have near universal access to toilets and clean water. A significant proportion of the world doesn't

I prescribe you a week in rural Greece where you're not allowed to flush toilet paper as it will block the drains so you have to put shitty toilet paper in a bin, followed by another week in a developing country where the toilet is a latrine shared with dozens of other people. Then perhaps you will realise how ridiculous you're being.

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Oh a frequent poo poster….

JFDIYOLO · 21/06/2025 11:09

Imagine the reactions here if it was the other way round

JabbaTheBeachHut · 21/06/2025 11:09

Honestly, so many Mumsnetters are utterly obsessed with men shitting.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen this level of obsession on any other website.

Bloody weird and very childish.

titchy · 21/06/2025 11:08

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 08:44

He works in a large corporate office - capacity for about 3/4000 employees. It’s not a single toilet in a cramped space!

How is the number of employees relevant? Presumably it’s not an open plan toilet, but a small cubicle the same as if there were six employees?

C8H10N4O2 · 21/06/2025 11:08

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 09:11

The work has concluded and it looks like this is the final day of the heatwave, but if needed then he goes to the gym on weekend mornings so we had a contingency plan of him going there.

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You need to call back the bathroom fitters to attend to the ventilation issues in your other bathrooms. If you have three bathrooms but only one has adequate ventilation then that is the problem you need to fix.

Honestly its only on MN that I see this obsession with entirely normal human functions.

luckylavender · 21/06/2025 11:08

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 08:36

I told my friends this last night who found it amusing so would be interested to hear if they are the only ones!

We were down to just our upstairs bathroom this week as the downstairs bathroom was being re-done (finally finished yesterday afternoon).

Given the heat, DH was told that he should do his usual morning business when he arrives at his work rather than use the upstairs bathroom, as I didn’t fancy the smell festering all morning in this heat.

DH was fine with this - AIBU to have made such a request?!

I would not be accepting that if DH tried that on me. Although he wouldn’t.

ilovesooty · 21/06/2025 11:07

whitewineandsun · 21/06/2025 11:05

I hope he has some reasonable friends.

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So do I. He could probably do with their support.

whitewineandsun · 21/06/2025 11:06

Arseynal · 21/06/2025 11:05

I don’t think it’s “amusing” but it doesn’t half give an insight into the sort of control you feel entitled to impose on someone who is supposed to be a partner. His compliance isn’t amusing either. The normal reaction to someone trying to control and belittle you to such a degree would be to tell them to fuck right off.

This a million times.

Crunchymum · 21/06/2025 11:06

Poo troll alert.

Arseynal · 21/06/2025 11:05

I don’t think it’s “amusing” but it doesn’t half give an insight into the sort of control you feel entitled to impose on someone who is supposed to be a partner. His compliance isn’t amusing either. The normal reaction to someone trying to control and belittle you to such a degree would be to tell them to fuck right off.

socks1107 · 21/06/2025 11:05

Massively unreasonable. I don’t even know where to start

whitewineandsun · 21/06/2025 11:05

ilovesooty · 21/06/2025 11:04

He's probably down trodden by her abuse.

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I hope he has some reasonable friends.