Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have insisted on DH doing his ‘business’ at work when we were down to one bathroom

465 replies

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 08:36

I told my friends this last night who found it amusing so would be interested to hear if they are the only ones!

We were down to just our upstairs bathroom this week as the downstairs bathroom was being re-done (finally finished yesterday afternoon).

Given the heat, DH was told that he should do his usual morning business when he arrives at his work rather than use the upstairs bathroom, as I didn’t fancy the smell festering all morning in this heat.

DH was fine with this - AIBU to have made such a request?!

OP posts:
Evaka · 21/06/2025 12:11

He should investigate why his shit smells so badly.

You are being incredibly unreasonable to command a man not to poo in his own home.

Those saying they don't poo at work are also unreasonable, holding in isn't healthy and pooing is an incredibly normal, mundane bodily function.

Original poster
WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 12:09

I’m struggling to believe that one bathroom houses are as common as is being made out. What an absurd proposition.

Even the ghastly shoe box new builds which have sprung up everywhere have at least two.

If I was to consider acquiring an older property with one bathroom, I’d certainly conduct due diligence on the ease at which a further one could be installed.

It’s 2025, goodness me.

OP posts:
Alltheyellowbirds · 21/06/2025 12:08

Bjorkdidit · 21/06/2025 11:58

Do they? I don't. The normal frequency is between 3 times a day and 3 times a week so it stands to reason that many people will need to go while they're at work.

Only on MN have I seen the expectation that a poo is supposed to conveniently appear in the narrow window between getting up and leaving the house in the morning for work.

Show quote history

It’s not an expectation, it’s just common. Your body has been digesting the previous days food all night so when you wake up it’s ready to evacuate. Doesn’t mean everybody does that all the time, just that statistically it’s most usual. And it’s part of the reason why what OP is doing is so cruel - if he needs to go in the morning and is being made to hold it in till later.

Leapintothelightning · 21/06/2025 12:05

Oh no how do the peasants with one bathroom cope?!

ilovesooty · 21/06/2025 12:04

Kelly1969 · 21/06/2025 11:50

lol harsh but funny!

Show quote history

It's neither harsh nor funny. He's married to a coercively controlling abuser.

ruethewhirl · 21/06/2025 11:59

Nearly50omg · 21/06/2025 11:29

I personally agree with you! If it’s that bad he smells like a builder then jog on and make him leave the house every time he needs to poop and doesn’t sort out WHY he smells so bad - either what he’s eating or undiagnosed coeliac disease or whatever - then that is a him problem

Why would a builder's shit smell any worse than anyone else's?

BennyBee · 21/06/2025 11:58

Light a match! Much better than air freshener.

Bjorkdidit · 21/06/2025 11:58

Alltheyellowbirds · 21/06/2025 11:38

People tend to naturally poo first thing in the morning, so have most often done it before they go to work.

Show quote history

Do they? I don't. The normal frequency is between 3 times a day and 3 times a week so it stands to reason that many people will need to go while they're at work.

Only on MN have I seen the expectation that a poo is supposed to conveniently appear in the narrow window between getting up and leaving the house in the morning for work.

VictoriaEra2 · 21/06/2025 11:57

Heck. We have only one bathroom. There are six of us.

ZZGirl · 21/06/2025 11:53

I hope hes not an IBS sufferer. That would have been awful for him. Get decent air freshener.

grumpygrape · 21/06/2025 11:51

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 08:37

Because I don’t produce such nuclear level stenches, to be frank!

Show quote history

They do say foxes can't smell their own poo 💩🦊 😉

Kelly1969 · 21/06/2025 11:50

Cakencookieobsessed · 21/06/2025 08:46

That's creepily controlling. He'll leave you one day and I wouldn't blame him.

lol harsh but funny!

Spidey66 · 21/06/2025 11:46

It’s a toilet! It’s what it’s made for!

I would physically not be able to comply with that demand.

If his poos are that smelly why should his colleagues have to put up with it instead of you? What makes you so special? Does your smell of roses and Chanel No 5?

Kelly1969 · 21/06/2025 11:44

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 08:36

I told my friends this last night who found it amusing so would be interested to hear if they are the only ones!

We were down to just our upstairs bathroom this week as the downstairs bathroom was being re-done (finally finished yesterday afternoon).

Given the heat, DH was told that he should do his usual morning business when he arrives at his work rather than use the upstairs bathroom, as I didn’t fancy the smell festering all morning in this heat.

DH was fine with this - AIBU to have made such a request?!

Huh??
Festering? You don’t mention that you are unable to flush the toilet so why is anything festering?
Only having one bathroom is hardly third world country conditions, I think it’s really out of order that he can’t use the bathroom until he gets to work!

PracticallyIncompetentInEveryWay · 21/06/2025 11:43

Edit: In response to someone saying he should address his gastrointestinal issues

I think he needs to address his wife issues first. What the hell is going on? A contingency plan to poo at the gym at the weekends?? If I knew Mr WarmDeer I'd suggest he did an Amber Heard on the bed and question why on earth he is with this absolute control freak.

CharlotteStreetW1 · 21/06/2025 11:40

KillerMounjaro · 21/06/2025 08:40

So rather than upset his own wife by doing a poo, you’ve made him inflict the smell on the entire office.

It’s a personal choice, but unless completely unavoidable, I would never do a poo at work.

We have a daily first thing poo-er at work who then leaves the fucking door open and the toilet opens onto a corridor we all have to use. It honestly smells like someone's died.

YABU!!

JustMeHello · 21/06/2025 11:40

Very interesting use of the passive voice there in the op! "DH was told" was he?

Another one here saying utterly bonkers and weird to be telling him he's not allowed to use either of the functioning toilets in his own house.

Alltheyellowbirds · 21/06/2025 11:38

TesChique · 21/06/2025 11:35

I poo at work every day. How do you not?

Show quote history

People tend to naturally poo first thing in the morning, so have most often done it before they go to work.

Boomer55 · 21/06/2025 11:38

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 08:36

I told my friends this last night who found it amusing so would be interested to hear if they are the only ones!

We were down to just our upstairs bathroom this week as the downstairs bathroom was being re-done (finally finished yesterday afternoon).

Given the heat, DH was told that he should do his usual morning business when he arrives at his work rather than use the upstairs bathroom, as I didn’t fancy the smell festering all morning in this heat.

DH was fine with this - AIBU to have made such a request?!

Seriously? 😳😳😂

Pizza4Tea · 21/06/2025 11:38

Well I suppose your shit smells like Tom Ford Electric Cherry. A bit better than Febreze? Get a grip woman and open some bloody windows. YABU.

TesChique · 21/06/2025 11:35

KillerMounjaro · 21/06/2025 08:40

So rather than upset his own wife by doing a poo, you’ve made him inflict the smell on the entire office.

It’s a personal choice, but unless completely unavoidable, I would never do a poo at work.

I poo at work every day. How do you not?

ilovesooty · 21/06/2025 11:33

Nearly50omg · 21/06/2025 11:29

I personally agree with you! If it’s that bad he smells like a builder then jog on and make him leave the house every time he needs to poop and doesn’t sort out WHY he smells so bad - either what he’s eating or undiagnosed coeliac disease or whatever - then that is a him problem

What does a builder smell like? You think her abusive behaviour is OK?

Nearly50omg · 21/06/2025 11:29

I personally agree with you! If it’s that bad he smells like a builder then jog on and make him leave the house every time he needs to poop and doesn’t sort out WHY he smells so bad - either what he’s eating or undiagnosed coeliac disease or whatever - then that is a him problem

Alltheyellowbirds · 21/06/2025 11:29

Nearly50omg · 21/06/2025 11:27

If it’s that bad he needs to sort out his diet!

The irony is that he and OP presumably eat together so if his poo stinks hers probably does too…

Nearly50omg · 21/06/2025 11:27

If it’s that bad he needs to sort out his diet!

Swipe left for the next trending thread