Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have insisted on DH doing his ‘business’ at work when we were down to one bathroom

465 replies

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 08:36

I told my friends this last night who found it amusing so would be interested to hear if they are the only ones!

We were down to just our upstairs bathroom this week as the downstairs bathroom was being re-done (finally finished yesterday afternoon).

Given the heat, DH was told that he should do his usual morning business when he arrives at his work rather than use the upstairs bathroom, as I didn’t fancy the smell festering all morning in this heat.

DH was fine with this - AIBU to have made such a request?!

OP posts:
Iloveeverycat · 21/06/2025 14:50

Negroany · 21/06/2025 14:15

Houses still don't "have to have" a downstairs toilet.

Show quote history

Building regulations Part M require all new builds to have a downstairs toilet

grumpygrape · 21/06/2025 14:43

Greater love hath no man than he who risks serious medical problems by restricting his bowel movements for his fragrant controlling wife who thinks it’s funny to discuss his most intimate details with her friends.

Funny, not funny.

Potentially the second most worrisome issue is that he ‘was fine with this’.

Ivytheterrible2025 · 21/06/2025 14:27

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 08:37

Because I don’t produce such nuclear level stenches, to be frank!

Show quote history

How do you know that?
Others might percieve it differently.

LakieLady · 21/06/2025 14:19

Iloveeverycat · 21/06/2025 14:10

It is only since 1999 that houses have to have a downstairs toilet. So all the houses before that may not have one so not that unusual.

Edited
Show quote history

I've never lived anywhere that had 2 toilets, and I've lived in an awful lot of places in my 69 years!

Negroany · 21/06/2025 14:15

Iloveeverycat · 21/06/2025 14:10

It is only since 1999 that houses have to have a downstairs toilet. So all the houses before that may not have one so not that unusual.

Edited
Show quote history

Houses still don't "have to have" a downstairs toilet.

fussychica · 21/06/2025 14:11

Is this a piss take, or rather, shit take?
Despite what you might think lots of houses and flats do have only one loo, my bungalow for instance.
Anyone who has multiple loos and still doesn't allow a member of their family to use one of them sounds a bit deranged to me.

Iloveeverycat · 21/06/2025 14:10

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 12:09

I’m struggling to believe that one bathroom houses are as common as is being made out. What an absurd proposition.

Even the ghastly shoe box new builds which have sprung up everywhere have at least two.

If I was to consider acquiring an older property with one bathroom, I’d certainly conduct due diligence on the ease at which a further one could be installed.

It’s 2025, goodness me.

It is only since 1999 that houses have to have a downstairs toilet. So all the houses before that may not have one so not that unusual.

Kelly1969 · 21/06/2025 14:09

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 12:09

I’m struggling to believe that one bathroom houses are as common as is being made out. What an absurd proposition.

Even the ghastly shoe box new builds which have sprung up everywhere have at least two.

If I was to consider acquiring an older property with one bathroom, I’d certainly conduct due diligence on the ease at which a further one could be installed.

It’s 2025, goodness me.

Omg I’m struggling to understand what planet you’re on?!
What country are you in?
in the UK one bathroom houses are fairly standard.

LakieLady · 21/06/2025 14:05

Holding in a shit when you need one is bad for your guts, according to my late DM! And it would be very uncomfortable unless his commute to work is a very short one.

YABVU. Light a poo candle to burn off the worst of the smell and let him go when he needs to.

cardibach · 21/06/2025 13:59

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 13:34

It appears there has been some misinterpretation of my previous post. By more than bathroom, I am of course including a downstairs ‘loo’ in this description. We refer to ours as a bathroom given it’s extremely spacious by comparison of most downstairs ‘loo’s’ which we have frequented.

Most old terraced housing stock also won’t have room for a downstairs loo. Flats routinely only have one loo. You seem somewhat detached from reality as far as housing stock in the U.K. goes.

Onetwofour · 21/06/2025 13:59

Wow, what do all those poor people with only one bathroom do? I wonder. Just suck it up and get on with it, you are being precious.

Flamingo68 · 21/06/2025 13:58

This is surely a troll post? It’s reminding me of a LadBible video interview with a man who escaped domestic abuse after his partner almost killed him. One of the things she did was banned him from using the toilet…

CandidRaven · 21/06/2025 13:56

Yabu if you think he shouldn't be able to use the toilet in his own house but you're perfectly fine to

Theyreeatingthedogs · 21/06/2025 13:54

We technically have the en-suite too, but that has always been firmly out of bounds for anything but a shower!

You really are nuts!!!! How can you "technically" have an en-suite? You have one. It has a WC. For shitting in. Welcome to the real world.

Sahara123 · 21/06/2025 13:51

rowenwren · 21/06/2025 10:28

If his shit stinks so much that it festers all day around the house, maybe he should see a doctor.

I often wonder when people say this would they REALLY go to their GP and say “ Doctor I have this terrible problem, my poo stinks “?!
I can just imagine what the GP is thinking..

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 21/06/2025 13:51

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 13:34

It appears there has been some misinterpretation of my previous post. By more than bathroom, I am of course including a downstairs ‘loo’ in this description. We refer to ours as a bathroom given it’s extremely spacious by comparison of most downstairs ‘loo’s’ which we have frequented.

Most people don't have a "downstairs loo".

They have one bathroom that also contains the only toilet in the house.

But you know that.

Sadmummy3 · 21/06/2025 13:50

ItDoesntHaveToBeASnowman · 21/06/2025 10:40

How does he not find this embarrassing? Do men not care about this stuff?

Show quote history

Don't know all men but he really doesn't care. At least at work there's is more than one toilet.
He just reckons it's a normal bodily function.

ilovesooty · 21/06/2025 13:48

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 13:34

It appears there has been some misinterpretation of my previous post. By more than bathroom, I am of course including a downstairs ‘loo’ in this description. We refer to ours as a bathroom given it’s extremely spacious by comparison of most downstairs ‘loo’s’ which we have frequented.

Most people don't have a downstairs toilet. Any reflection on your abusive behaviour yet?

Purpleturtle43 · 21/06/2025 13:47

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 09:03

We technically have the en-suite too, but that has always been firmly out of bounds for anything but a shower!

Show quote history

This is the most bizarre thing I have heard!

HelpMeGetThrough · 21/06/2025 13:45

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 13:34

It appears there has been some misinterpretation of my previous post. By more than bathroom, I am of course including a downstairs ‘loo’ in this description. We refer to ours as a bathroom given it’s extremely spacious by comparison of most downstairs ‘loo’s’ which we have frequented.

I don’t think you could be any further up your own arse.

whynotwhatknot · 21/06/2025 13:45

no we havent misinterpreted we know what you mean i still only have one toilet

Fangisnotacoward · 21/06/2025 13:41

YABU, and I can't believe he's agreed to do it. If someone told me where I could have a crap, id tell them to jog on!

FWIW, I have one toilet and sometimes someone in the household does a smelly poo. Window open, fan on, bit of cleaner down the toilet and shut the door. Really nit a big deal.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 21/06/2025 13:37

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 12:09

I’m struggling to believe that one bathroom houses are as common as is being made out. What an absurd proposition.

Even the ghastly shoe box new builds which have sprung up everywhere have at least two.

If I was to consider acquiring an older property with one bathroom, I’d certainly conduct due diligence on the ease at which a further one could be installed.

It’s 2025, goodness me.

Ah - this is where the OP jumps the shark (as they say in the US)

ilovesooty · 21/06/2025 13:35

Italiangreyhound · 21/06/2025 12:26

There is no way I could,.l 'do my business' to order!

I'd buy an air freshener or open a window.

We all lived with one bathroom a few decades ago!

A lot of people still do. ETA I see you acknowledged that.
When I was a child my aunt had an outside toilet. I'm surprised the OP hasn't built one and banished her husband out there. In fact if I was him I'd consider building my own quarters in the garden rather than have to share a house with an abuser.

Bjorkdidit · 21/06/2025 13:34

OP, the first house I owned was a back to back that had been built with no inside toilet at all.

Some houses still had the old outside privvy in the garden although just about all of them had been converted into sheds.

However a neighbour still retained a functioning toilet in theirs. It was the joke on the street that the DH used to use it to shit in while he had a leisurely read of the papers.

Perhaps you should have an outside privvy for your DH to use, to prevent him getting any ideas about using one of the house toilets like a normal person?