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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inappropriate dog touching

167 replies

LeonardosYoungerModel · 21/06/2025 07:41

if one more child or adult touches my dog without asking I may scream. Dogs are not toys!!!

Shes very young and a very family friendly breed. I’m socialising her at the moment and doing first walks. I’ve had her breed before and I know that if not properly trained they are a sodding nightmare (bouncy, bitey and big).

It’s a sodding bloody nightmare. Every child, person, stick insect and tosspottingwankweasel going seems intent to not only approach her and touch her, but also encourage her to jump up!!

Half the time they don’t even ask but when they do I’ve said no and they do it anyway!!!!!!! I’ve taught her to ‘place’ between my legs so people have to get level with
my fanny to touch her, and they still do it! Get your head away from my fanny!!!!!!

Why are people so damn thick?! AIBU to think that if it is clear the owner does not want you touching their dog, then you do not touch the bloody dog?! And you definitely do not touch any dog and more importantly do not let your bloody toddler touch a dog without asking but particularly when the owner has said no?! And you don’t bloody put your head near someone’s bloody fanny (thankfully not literally at the moment) to pat their dog who is ignoring you?!

OP posts:
CoubousAndTourmalet · 21/06/2025 14:36

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I don't like all dogs either. But I still maintain that size is not the biggest risk factor.

A tiny Jack Russell or miniature Dachshund is just at the right level to rip a toddlers face off, and if you'd ever seen either of those breeds ratting, you wouldn't be so quick to insist that my placid giant is more dangerous.

Shemi · 21/06/2025 14:36

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Melsy88 · 21/06/2025 14:33

fatgirlswims · 21/06/2025 14:24

Put a muzzle on it. That will stop most people. You’ll get lovely peaceful walks.

On the child or the dog?!

fatgirlswims · 21/06/2025 14:24

Put a muzzle on it. That will stop most people. You’ll get lovely peaceful walks.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 21/06/2025 14:21

Hardtum · 21/06/2025 07:55

Indeed they do, as mumsnet never ceases to open my eyes to…. School gate cliques, narcissistic mothers, neighbours, sisters, group friends holidays that end up in a brawl and horrific hen dos

and now “inappropriate dog touching”!

Mumsnet seems to have removed the 'laughing' emoticon - so putting it here 🤣

LandSharksAnonymous · 21/06/2025 14:20

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Except, the statistics are strongly in that posters favour that her dog will not bite.

If you don't like dogs, why are you on a dog related thread contributing nothing of value? All you have done is insult someone for no reason.

Melsy88 · 21/06/2025 14:19

Ontherocksthisyear · 21/06/2025 14:16

I really hate you dog people

Devastated

Dominoeffecter · 21/06/2025 14:18

Ontherocksthisyear · 21/06/2025 14:16

I really hate you dog people

🤣

Shemi · 21/06/2025 14:18

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Ontherocksthisyear · 21/06/2025 14:16

I really hate you dog people

Dominoeffecter · 21/06/2025 14:14

That must be incredibly annoying, I have cats not dogs but when I’ve taken them out in their bag people have to ask to touch them because they are in a bag 😂

CoubousAndTourmalet · 21/06/2025 14:13

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Okay I'm dangerous then, because a child is statistically far more likely to be bitten by my neighbour's Cocker Spaniel than by my 50kg Pyrenean Mountain Dog. 😁

LandSharksAnonymous · 21/06/2025 14:13

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I wouldn't even begin to know where to start with refuting that, because it's such a nonsense claim I can't believe anyone could even say it. Yes, a larger dog will cause more damage. But, equally, if you've ever been bitten by a little dog - which I have - you'd know full well they can do extraordinary damage if they want.

A JRT or a Chihuahua or a Dachshund is statistically far more likely to bite someone than a Golden or a Lab. Any dog is dangerous. And any dog could kill (if you want to get technical about it).

And there is no need to call posters 'dangerous' what absolute twaddle.

Shemi · 21/06/2025 14:09

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CoubousAndTourmalet · 21/06/2025 14:06

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Less of the "especially with big breeds" please. Any dog can be a danger to a child.

Lolapusht · 21/06/2025 14:04

I fell you OP.

We had dogs growing up so I’ve taught mine basic dog body language (it’s actually Owner Ability Training eg that dog is too bouncy, looks wired and is pulling on the lead) and to ALWAYS ask the owner if it’s ok to pet them (the dog, not the owner).

I have lost count of the number of times owners looked insulted that I would direct my child not to rush up to their dog to pet it! They seem to take it as an insult like I’m telling DC that there dog is really badly behaved 🤷🏻‍♀️

Shemi · 21/06/2025 14:03

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CaptainMyCaptain · 21/06/2025 14:02

Fringle · 21/06/2025 08:07

The thread title could be taken two ways. Either ‘inappropriate dogs that touch’, or ‘dogs that are touched inappropriately’.

If it’s the first, I would say that all bull breeds plus a lot of other types of dog are indeed inappropriate, and that their ‘touching’ - by means of savage biting - is definitely a problem. It leads to severe injury and death.

If it’s the second, it seems unlikely to happen very much at all. And even if it did I’d be surprised if it were any sort of problem.

So I’m with you on inappropriate dogs that ‘touch’, but not on inappropriate touching of dogs.

It does happen a lot. I have a small, 'cute' dog that young children seem to think is a toy. I am always vigilant in protecting my dog from inappropriate touching.

LeonardosYoungerModel · 21/06/2025 13:59

@IHeartFridays she is a Golden!

I had the same issue with my last one as well. I just can’t believe how many adults think it’s okay for their child to say hi without checking and then smile indulgently. Just because she’s a puppy and a Golden does not make it okay. if anything the fact she’s a puppy makes it worse as a bite is far more likely.

OP posts:
SirEctor · 21/06/2025 13:40

intrepidpanda · 21/06/2025 13:15

You choose to have your dog in a public space so can't very well complain

What a bizarre attitude. Dogs are not objects, they are living beings. You can't just be touching animals because they're in public, they might not like it and you are taking a stupid risk. It would be a different story if the dog was approaching people seeking attention (which is what OP is trying to train it not to do), but OP has the dog on a lead and it's not bothering anyone.

Even if you consider dogs to be little more than objects, the dog is OP's property, not a community resource. Would you walk up to a stranger in public and start stroking her coat, fiddling with the gears on her bike, picking up her bag? Leave other people's stuff alone.

Brefugee · 21/06/2025 13:23

say no, slap their hand away and say "no" as if you were training a dog

Anyone who complains that you touched their child gets the death stare.

stclementine · 21/06/2025 13:21

IHeartFridays · 21/06/2025 12:43

If it’s a golden retriever it never gets better. I think it’s the seductive feather duster action from behind and the smiling face from in front that invites strokes.
It escalates to taking pictures - again nobody asks first.

Yep. Mine loves all people and all people seem to love him. I do warn them that he’s still at the jumpy phase but they don’t seem to care. If people want to say hello to my dog then I’m happy to let them, as long as they knkw he might jump up. I keep him on a short lead and make him stop and sit beside me when someone just approaching but he poses so the majority of the time it just makes him even more of an attraction. Luckily there is some interaction with me first and if they don’t want to be judged as someone with no soul by my dog and walk past then that’s fine.

PocketSand · 21/06/2025 13:19

I’m on the fence here. I wouldn’t want anyone to approach my dog but there is never the opportunity. He is a darling at home with any callers but outside the house barks at anyone and everyone. He’s walked in a private dog field.

But my son’s 6th form had pat dogs/therapy dogs with their own online staff profiles. They were bullet proof and never reacted no matter how inappropriate the contact. What training did those dogs have?

intrepidpanda · 21/06/2025 13:15

You choose to have your dog in a public space so can't very well complain

anonymoususer9876 · 21/06/2025 12:59

Kuretake · 21/06/2025 12:15

Very few dog owners have this weird attitude in my experience. I have had dogs for over 25 years and meet 100s of owners. It is really a modern thing to have this level of neurosis about dogs being touched.
In my opinion it's better for dogs to socialise a lot and learn people will randomly touch them and it's out job as owners to not let them think this is weird. Dogs are hyper sensitive to their owners and take lead from them.
If an owner is inwardly annoyed at their dog being touched (and something about fannies that I could be arsed to understand) they will think it ls bad to be touch and become reactive.

Yeah I agree with this, it's a very prissy new thing and indicative of lots of owners who don't know how to raise a dog.

Edited

The Dogs Trust have come to the primary school I work in to teach children to never approach a dog without permission from the owner. It’s therefore a recognised problem, not a weird issue.

Dogs are sentient beings, experience many emotions, and this needs to be respected.