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AIBU?

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Genuinely upset at this wildflower destruction

137 replies

pelargoniums · 21/06/2025 07:20

Live in a loooooong terrace that backs on to another similarly long terrace, with a twitten between the streets. All the gardens have a gate onto the twitten for access, but no one uses it for actual access: at one end, street access is bricked up; at the other, it’s so far from most of the houses and emerges on the road with nightmare parking so even if you clear your garden, you get the lads to go through the house because big work trucks can’t get down that road. Plus every spring it becomes impenetrable with overgrown plants and wildlife.

Most of my neighbours keep a compost bin, leaf mould, narrow tool storage etc out there. A general “live and let live” attitude prevails so if you put a tool store out, you stagger it against your opposite neighbour’s so everyone can have space.

And it’s lovely! Behind ours I have compost and leaf mould, plus wildflowers naturally – I’ve never planted anything but there was six foot tall cow parsley, green alkanet, bluebells, loads of things I can’t identify. DC spend a lot of time there bug hunting, it attracts loads of butterflies – the caterpillarfest in spring was amazing – birds, field mice.

The neighbours opposite have razed the lot. Not only on “their” side but mine. They don’t garden, theirs is fully paved. No reason to do this – they can’t get out through a bricked wall and they’ve left the next space along alone, which is solidly rose/bramble/thicket. A whole mini habitat gone. Now it’s just bare earth for the neighbourhood cats to poo in.

AIBU to be gutted but more importantly, how to respond?! I’d love to do a line of pleached trees in the twitten to block them from my sight but they’d only chop them down I think, and also £££. More wildflowers, obviously. While the land is bare the kids want to paint a mural on the wall saying Save Our Wildflowers & Our Planet (because I suggested it to them 😂) and paint butterflies, ladybirds, bees. Or something permanent/evergreen and purposeful on my side that won’t encroach over their half of the space, but is clearly meant to be there – as they obviously felt the natural aspect of the wildflowers was too much nature – but still pollinator-friendly. Japanese hogweed? 😈

OP posts:
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crackofdoom · 21/06/2025 19:34

pelargoniums · 21/06/2025 07:40

Maybe it was hemlock! I just call everything of that fluffy ilk cow parsley. Definitely not hogweed.

Ringing their bell feels quite aggressive as they’re not my street neighbours but the street behind: something about going all the way round (long roads so it’s quite far by road vs them being right behind me by twitten) and identifying their door on Google maps feels like upping the ante when I can just put some seeds down.

There are two kinds of hogweed. Normal hogweed, which isn't harmful and can grow to 6ft, and giant hogweed, which can get up to at least 8 feet. That's the one with the nasty juice. What people are calling hemlock is officially hemlock water dropwort- which is indeed extremely poisonous, but tends only to grow in damp or boggy places.

I would be devastated if I were you OP, fucking devastated. Our attempts to manage verges for nature around the village are being foiled by the tidy brigade, swooping in with their mowers and weedkiller.

It will grow back though. You have to work out how to stop the neighbours trashing it again.

Iamatwork · 21/06/2025 19:25

U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 21/06/2025 12:45

I think in a fire you'd manage to walk over some weeds.

My point is that escape routes should be clear. People shouldn't be expected to scale rose bushes or wade through toxic plants when escaping a fire.

U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 21/06/2025 12:45

Iamatwork · 21/06/2025 08:31

I love gardening and wild flower areas. But if that is the only escape route from your garden, I wouldn't want to block it. In the event of a fire, you and your DC may need to use it.

I think in a fire you'd manage to walk over some weeds.

ghostyslovesheets · 21/06/2025 12:45

Jigga or entry

U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 21/06/2025 12:44

RubberyChicken · 21/06/2025 12:17

I think Twitter is called X now

Lol. Clearly I meant twitten and it auto corrected.

Alltheyellowbirds · 21/06/2025 12:20

LIZS · 21/06/2025 12:17

Bindweed? Very invasive.

I’m beginning to think the OP’s obsession with wildflowers might be seen as something of a pain by the neighbours on the street who are all struggling to control the weeds spreading into their gardens from hers ;)

RubberyChicken · 21/06/2025 12:17

U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 21/06/2025 07:24

I had to Google Twitter, it's an access alleyway? So maybe neighbours want to start using it or thought it needed to be clear?

I think Twitter is called X now

LIZS · 21/06/2025 12:17

Bindweed? Very invasive.

ZoeCM · 21/06/2025 11:22

I'm surprised some people still think the neighbours did something wrong when the "cow parsley" may well have been poisonous.

Alltheyellowbirds · 21/06/2025 11:20

EleanorReally · 21/06/2025 11:03

i am from sussex
and yes to the twitten
but also snicket

I am so happy to have learned these two lovely words today!

I know it as ginnel, loke or twitchel.

EleanorReally · 21/06/2025 11:03

i am from sussex
and yes to the twitten
but also snicket

Iamatwork · 21/06/2025 08:31

I love gardening and wild flower areas. But if that is the only escape route from your garden, I wouldn't want to block it. In the event of a fire, you and your DC may need to use it.

luckylavender · 21/06/2025 08:21

pelargoniums · 21/06/2025 07:33

It wasn’t hogweed! My last picture of the garden showing it was May, so it may well have been gone a while anyway. Definitely cow parsley; no one got hurt from it.

They’re called twittens in Sussex.

They are meant for access but like I said, unless they get 30 houses on each side on board with clearing and maintaining, the access is long gone.

I live in Sussex. Never heard anyone say that

Footle · 21/06/2025 08:18

I give you Snicket.

spoonbillstretford · 21/06/2025 08:14

U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 21/06/2025 08:12

A ginnel! Never heard of that either! It's just an alleyway or maybe path or passage to me

I'm from Greater Manchester and never heard of a ginnel until I was an adult, as we didn't live in a terraced house.

pelargoniums · 21/06/2025 08:12

Have to say I’ve never seen purple blotches on stems in the stuff in the countryside round us – usually gather mounds of it for vases, so see it up close, but this is earlier in spring. Realise my OP sounds like it’s there now, but I haven’t been out the back in a while, there’s been no need. Photo is 16 May.

OP posts:
U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 21/06/2025 08:12

DiscontentedPig · 21/06/2025 08:11

Not directly relevant but it's great how there are so many different words for a ginnel.

A ginnel! Never heard of that either! It's just an alleyway or maybe path or passage to me

spoonbillstretford · 21/06/2025 08:12

user7529706387 · 21/06/2025 08:06

Doubt it - you’re most likely seeing Hemlock. It looks very similar, all of the umbellifra family are similar, but cow parsley flowers much earlier. In southern Kent CP would be long gone - we are north of the midlands and CP has gone over weeks ago.
Hemlock is like CP on steroids and easily mistaken if you haven’t got your eye in!
Give aways are much bigger plants, often grows as individual plants rather than a big clump like CP, purple blotches on the stems and a horrible mouse like smell if it’s warm.
It really is one to be wary of - the sap is very toxic. It’s what Shakespeare used to poison everyone with in his plays!

Yeah, I'll probably not put it in a salad.

U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 21/06/2025 08:11

pelargoniums · 21/06/2025 08:06

@U53rn8m3ch8ng3 You can probably tell from the glimpse of my garden (had to crop out a lot because DS was rampaging mid-photo) that I quite like what Nigel Slater calls a “wild and woolly” garden. (Luckily, as I don’t get much gardening time.) Nothing that flowers is a weed in my book! Don’t even mind a bit of bindweed in the right place.

Long term I want a tree mid-garden to block the view of the houses without blocking their light, so I wouldn’t see the “weeds” anyway. Wish I had a photo of the twitten mid-May: absolutely thriving with bugs.

But that's fine, for your garden. Not for an alleyway which you say is not even your property. Whether or not people use is it, according to you, is neither here nor there if it's council owned land that's supposed to be clear.

DiscontentedPig · 21/06/2025 08:11

Not directly relevant but it's great how there are so many different words for a ginnel.

pelargoniums · 21/06/2025 08:06

@U53rn8m3ch8ng3 You can probably tell from the glimpse of my garden (had to crop out a lot because DS was rampaging mid-photo) that I quite like what Nigel Slater calls a “wild and woolly” garden. (Luckily, as I don’t get much gardening time.) Nothing that flowers is a weed in my book! Don’t even mind a bit of bindweed in the right place.

Long term I want a tree mid-garden to block the view of the houses without blocking their light, so I wouldn’t see the “weeds” anyway. Wish I had a photo of the twitten mid-May: absolutely thriving with bugs.

OP posts:
user7529706387 · 21/06/2025 08:06

spoonbillstretford · 21/06/2025 07:44

Cow parsley is still flowering here in Kent, and it's massive this year because of the weather conditions.

Doubt it - you’re most likely seeing Hemlock. It looks very similar, all of the umbellifra family are similar, but cow parsley flowers much earlier. In southern Kent CP would be long gone - we are north of the midlands and CP has gone over weeks ago.
Hemlock is like CP on steroids and easily mistaken if you haven’t got your eye in!
Give aways are much bigger plants, often grows as individual plants rather than a big clump like CP, purple blotches on the stems and a horrible mouse like smell if it’s warm.
It really is one to be wary of - the sap is very toxic. It’s what Shakespeare used to poison everyone with in his plays!

U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 21/06/2025 08:03

pelargoniums · 21/06/2025 07:47

This is the only photo I have of the unidentified possibly toxic twitten plant – just peeking over the wall, which is 5’6” I’ve just worked out, not 6’. Anyone care to squint and identify it? This is mid-May. Don’t know when it was chopped down.

We never had to go through it as the compost bin is the other side of the gate, and we never wanted to disturb the bugs.

Edited

To be honest, to me that looks like unsightly weeds I have to look at over my wall.

CrackOnThen · 21/06/2025 07:57

user1476613140 · 21/06/2025 07:35

You got me at twitten. Had to Google that word! That's my word of the week now - twitten.

Right, back to the OP...

Edited

During Covid, we had a letter from school telling us which doors which classes were going to be using and one class were told to ‘approach school via the twitchell’ and that apparently means one of these paths.

QuiteUnbelievable · 21/06/2025 07:56

Hard to say op without seeing leaves it's the leaf shape that's different and stems on toxic types have purple blotches.

It looks very pretty though maybe something to chat about with pics like laites to encourage people to have a few safe flowers out there.

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