To leave my boyfriend over his golfing?

No, not doing his share of housework is unacceptable, lazy, unfair, entitled a number of other things. But it doesn't make him a loser. He's doesn't spend his time wasted on drugs or cheating on the OP or any other kind of behaviour I'd ascribe to a loser.

You need to: dump him and find a better one.

He needs to: enjoy being single and hire a cleaner.

Everyone's happy.

He’s showing you what’s important to him. Listen to that. Go and find a place where YOU are important

Selfish and immature- why would he change? You do all the donkey work and he plays all day

As someone who is a golf “widow” I say RUN and don’t look back, find someone who hates golf instead.

Let me put it this way: when I met the man I have been with for 35 years, I told him I didn't mind the other sports but could he please give up the golf? (He wasn't actively playing at the time but he had done so and owned 2 sets of golf clubs). He agreed that whole days/weekends spent playing golf were not compatible with a relationship and raising a family and has not played a round of golf since.

If your man can't see that, he is not the man for you sadly. Though I have to say, throwing up due to excessive drinking would be an automatic no from me even regardless of the golf.

My Late DH was a golfer. If he sticks at it and is good at it then it won't get better. He may join a club and the subscriptions are usually expensive. He'll want more and better equipment as he progresses. My DH must have spent tens of thousands on clubs, electric carts, golf bags, clothing, balls, gloves, distance meters and goodness knows what else over the decades. As well as the regular weekends being eaten away with you left doing everything, there will be club days out and competitions. Evenings at the driving range to practice. Then the lads weeks/weekends away to golf resorts such as Spain and Portugal. When we did go away on family holidays he preferred to go somewhere that had a golf course nearby and he would take his clubs and disappear for odd days to play. I would never recommend marriage to someone who is a keen golfer.

As to housework, get a cleaner.

He would have been a perfect boyfriend for 27 year old me. I like time to myself too.
My DH always had a day at the weekend with his mates playing golf. I think it's good for his mental health to be outside, chatting through worries with his pals, in the fresh air. We both worked full time city jobs in the week and socialised with work colleagues 3-4 nights a week then too.

He's 27. Independence is a good thing.

Just sounds like you are incompatible rather than that he's selfish.

When we had kids he was very hands on and dropped down to playing once a month. Now he takes our son for some bonding and I assure you there is LITERALLY nothing cuter than baby golf clubs.

Not doing his share of the housework but he’s not a loser @AmelieSummer25 ?

Which is what I said in my other post, however, that doesn't make him a loser.

Neither do I, as I said in my other post. However, if doesn't make him a loser.

He probably does want a family (at some point at least) he just envisions delegating all the work involved to the OP as “woman’s work”.

You don’t sound compatible. He needs to be with someone who plays golf or likes a lot of time to herself and you need to be with someone who wants to spend more time doing things with you. Neither of you can change who you are so you probably do need to end it.i

Finish this one sided relationship asap.
His love of golf will escalate if you have children.
You are still very young! Please don’t waste your time on this man!!

Dump him. Don't become a golf widow. My husband plays a lot but never in the weekends. He was self-employed so played in the week. Now he's retired he still plays during the week. He did more than his fair share with childcare and housework. He did not come home drunk and vomiting after golf either. You can do better. Don't waste any more of your time with this man.

YNBU but to a certain degree neither is he.

Id suggest you have a conversation about how much time is acceptable to you both for your respective hobbies and sports. And how much effort and active engagement you’ll both put into the relationship. Determine which events will make the hobbies cancellable - weddings, holidays, time-for-us days. If sports come with a pissup and a hangover, determine if the following day writeoff is acceptable too (a couple times a year probably is, every time is not for example)

Then evaluate how this works in practice. Keep a shared calendar about how much time was your hobbies, his hobbies, your chores, his chores, and your quality time together. Use different colours to show how you’re each consuming time and if this reflects your priorities.

If the actions don’t stack up that tells you what you need to know.

I have talked to him about it until I’m blue in the face but nothing ever seems to change. He’ll agree with me at the time and talk the talk but never actually puts any more effort

If you stay with him, you'll be back writing the same thing about why he won’t spend more time with his kids. Dump him.

Leave the selfish 🔔🔚and find someone who puts you first

A young man who shows no interest in his girlfriend, who behaves like a single man fucking off for hours leaving his girlfriend to pick up the chores.

Yep, just what every woman wants!

Oh that's attractive.

What's your housing situation, rented, owned, joint names etc?

Stop wasting your time on this selfish man child, you deserve so much better. Good luck for a happy future OP

I would never marry a gofer or a cyclist for this reason! They disappear four hours every weekend. No thanks

I hope him and his golf will be v happy together. He’s not relationship material.