Hell is a terraced house with a hot tub, bar and outdoor tv.

You have my sympathy, I had the most awful neighbours and it wrecked my mental health.

Unfortunately I found environmental health absolutely useless and it just made us feel more alone.

My advice would be to move soon as you can or if you have it in you fight fire with fire, but they might get worse by sounds of their mentality.

Just know if you complain to council or police you have to declare if you sell.

This happened to me! I’d complain about my neighbour because her tv and radio were blaring ALL day, I even did a MN thread…. She died the next day!

Oh I really feel for you loud neighbours are the worst! I don’t know what I’d do I’m trying to think but it def involves something petty like waking them all up really early by doing something but you don’t want to disturb your other neighbours so it’s super tricky to navigate

You have my sympathies, OP. My friend’s neighbours were like this, it really impacted her and meant she couldn’t invite us round and she loved hosting. Funnily, the night she decided “to hell with it” and had us over for wine in the kitchen, doors open to the garden and the heat, it was deathly silent. Literally, it turns out: they’d both died that evening, as was discovered the next day.

This isn’t helpful unless you’re good at murder, but it sounds like actual hell.

Not everyone but some. At was at a friends mothers house at about 7.30 last night on a
council estate and her neighbours had a hot tob in the front garden all screaming and shouting then the lady of house got into an argument with quite another large female neighbour. I didn’t fancy her chances but my poor friemds
mother she is housebound and unwell the selfish, pathetic shits.

That's s bit of a snobby remark. Not everyone from a council estate is a neanderthal!!!
Op I truly feel sorry for you and hope there us a legal way to can get them to shut the eff up.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

The flippant comments about making your own noise are really not helpful. Nobody knows what this is like unless they experience it themselves. It destroys your life.

After our lovely elderly neighbours died, we were subjected to 3 years of the hell you describe.
Hot tub against the shared wall, buzzing away, 24/7, right next to our conservatory. Music and flashing lights until all hours. Constant, drinking, smoking (and growing) weed. Footballs kicked against the fence for 9 hours a day, shrieking yelling, screaming inside and out. Rats swarming everywhere because they were nesting under the decking that the hot tub sat on.
We were subjected to abuse and they fatally poisoned our dog with rat bait.
I had a breakdown and we almost divorced after 25 years.
The council were not interested.

Eventually, the people moved on, and we now have quiet neighbours again. I appreciate every single day, because I know how easily it could change.

I hope the same will be true for you, that they won't be around for long, and that your home will again become your safe space. But right now, my heart goes out to you, because I know exactly how you feel and how emotionally draining it is to live alongside people like this.

That’s the problem with complaining I started being harassed too. My car was keyed it was beyond intimidating. It was one of the most stressful things I have ever experienced. People like are animals with no respect. In the end I told her she was Norma Bates and her son was Norman that didnt go well for me but I just lost it.

The reason people assume antisocial neighbours might be renters or social housing is because usually when you own you don’t want to risk falling out with people, the police being called etc as you are meant to write that down on the forms when you sell and that might put people off buying. Also normally when you buy you are trying to assimilate into a community and put down some roots and again it’s nice to actually have some people around you that like you.

Not always true of course but often renters see the property as temporary so they might be less bothered on local opinion and HA tenants often think they are untouchable as it seems very very difficult to really act on antisocial behaviour. I’m assuming it’s around the laws of evicting people but if you think you are untouchable you are more inclined to do what the hell you like.

Worst part of that is the outdoor tv. Everything else is a lot quieter.

You have my sympathy. Never knowing when the noise will start is stressful.

I lived next door to this and it was hideous. My neighbour was a Katie Price wannabe with a bunch of loud mouth cocaine snorting friends. A husband that worked away to stay away from her madness and her father a man in his seventies would swing a hammer round in the street if a one dared to complain.

My DD and I had lived in a lovely quiet area before and she hated it. She hated the rude obnoxious kids her 15 year called me a whore. Lovely I know. We moved within a year.

People like this are thick as shit. Her garden was a full on play park they were big gardens and all her friends kids would be screaming while the mothers got pissed all day. Then they must have bundled them into beds in the house while they stayed up all night. Someone told me see went to rehab recently she definitely needed help more how she didn’t lose her kids i don’t know.

Sorry Op, but this did make me laugh

Drunken pot smoking father who attended a house party in the mid 90's and apparently never left,

They sound like a living nightmare. I am all for people enjoying their garden but this is so extreme and antisocial that it is a mental health hazard.

With dysfunctional people like this though, reasoning of any kind just won't work.

It has already been asked, but if they are renters you can surely complain to council, HA etc.

Not point of thread, but you write really well.

Please keep reporting to Environmental Health - that's what they're there for. I've lived next door to similar and people like that only understand a form of communication similar to their own. Try:

Bluetooth speaker and search youtube for 'annoy neighbours' music.

Stink spray

Set your house alarm off on purpose

Completely lose your temper at them (they may label you as the crazy woman but they will be careful not to cross you in future)

Randomly let off an air horn close to their windows

I really feel for you OP that must be an awful way to be living, especially during the summer when you want to enjoy your garden.

When we moved a few years ago we didn’t even bother viewing a property when we arrived, the neighbours opposite had a sign swinging from their front porch saying “no one leaves here sober” no thanks. Can just imagine what it would have been like living there, I could guess why they were moving.

I wasn't being serious.

She's already in a war she can't win anyway.

I'd just like to add that comments like 'they sound like council house tenants' are unkind, unhelpful, unnecessary and just plain snobby.

Agreed. Being detached doesn’t shield you from outside noise. We’re surrounded on three sides and two of them like a social gathering - thankfully not very often, and it’s loud. Enough to struggle to sleep with windows open.

I lived next door to people very similar to OPs neighbours and no one was interested. They were openly drug dealing, loud house music all night, every night. Fighting, screaming - id ring the police and they’d say they would try to come out, but then never did. They would commiserate with me on the phone though 🤦🏻‍♀️. They’d also harass me going in and out of my house.

i moved away as fortunately it was rented and found out later the main person had died of a drug overdose, another family member also died and they moved out. Hopefully the neighbours now live in peace.

I have no real advice but:
'The father seemed to indicate through grunts that he had understood my attempt at communication with a primitive life form'
This has made my day! It describes perfectly the kind of people you are dealing with.
I am a very early riser, I got up at 5.30am today so if any of my neighbours want to be loud into the night they better be prepared for me to be the same first thing in the morning, I suspect it is more annoying with a hangover......

They sound dreadful. One of the worst things is having an awful neighbour move next door to your personal space. I'd try the council with a noise complaint and then follow up with the police if he gets personal with you when he inevitably gets the noise complaint notice through the post.

Unfortunately, I think that would just start a war you couldn't win and the neighbours would probably enjoy the battle.

I really feel for you, OP. That's my worst nightmare. I think outdoor TVs and loud music etc should be illegal unless you live somewhere miles from anyone. I'm really (over?)sensitive to noise and even hearing someone's quiet radio in the garden puts me on edge. I bought a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and play sea sounds, or wind in the trees or countryside noises if I want to sit in the garden and read. What do your other neighbours think of the situation?

If you can't beat em, join em.

Get a hot tub, get a TV. Crank it up.

See how long they cope with competing TV noises and hot tub noises when they are trying to watch something different.

Feign horror and shock at the very idea that it could bother the neighbours.

How well do you get on with your other neighbours? Could you approach them, all keep a log/recordings and all complain?

Oh god I pressed the wrong button- you are NOT being unreasonable/ I have similar neighbours but in an estate where there are a quad of gardens backing onto each other and the buildings seem to trap the noise- anyway the only thing you should feel fortunate you dont have yet is a pair of idiot cockapoos that bark constantly in an ear splitting high pitch at every leaf or bird or breeze.
i fear for you though, your neighbours sound exactly the sort to get idiot cockapoos ☹️