Am I being overly sensitive?

You are trying quite hard to twist what I’ve said. I said A BIKE RIDE was reasonable, and that going off longer was NOT. Clearly didn’t say a day of biking was fine. You’ve made it clear you don’t agree with this one small difference, it has been noted.

He thought a bike ride was more important than supporting his child, who needed surgery after an accident??? I can see from your updates that the responses of others has helped clarify your views on the matter, but I've got to add to what others have said...your DH's behaviour was unbearably selfish. Not just that he didn't support his children, but he didn't support you either. Is he basically your 3rd child, or is he usually a proper parent and this was an aberration?

Considering OP has literally just been in hospital with her child I’m sure she knows whether or not another parent was allowed or not.

That’s awful Op and I agree going to work is one thing bills need paying still etc but the fact he’s just buggered off for the whole weekend and left you all after his sons had surgery not fair on you either where’s your rest and time off.

do you get weekends off to do any of your own hobbies while he stays and parents?

My grandchild has recently had surgery and she was only allowed 1 parent with her!

Being at work is understandable.

Going for a bike ride? Depends. DP is worse than bloody useless in a hospital so it’s easier for the child and for me to do that on my own for a routine surgery. If you are reasonably emotionally robust I expect you weee just fine too.

Buggering off for the weekend to cycle with his brother? Making you leave your child in a ward while you collect the other from school, just to save him some traffic? Not spending time with his son to reassure him following surgery?
No, he’s a selfish, uncaring asshole to do that.

Which is clearly not the situation here. The DH hasn’t been supportive in a single way, so no bike ride wasn’t reasonable. Him deciding to indulge in a day of his hobby meant his son was alone in hospital while OP left to pick up and care for her other son.
The surgery was finished when the DH “popped in for 5 mins” so he absolutely could have taken over and let OP go and get a coffee or sort herself out considering she had already missed an entire night of sleep that week!
No decent person does that, and not for something as utterly ridiculous as a bike ride. He’s pathetic.

No, you are acting normal.

She presumably didn’t want a nap or shower while her child was in surgery… that’s not very hard to understand. When my son broke his arm we didn’t both attend the hospital every time, but we were both supportive at home.

Why on earth would it be reasonable for him to go on a bike ride when the OP had been the only one supporting her son? Dad has had a week of sleep, perhaps OP would like her basic needs met like a nap, a shower or some food before her selfish husband gets to indulge in his hobbies?
Your standards are really in the gutter.

Honestly he is behaving a bit like one of your kids- assuming “mum” will take care of everything while he farts around doing what he pleases ??? Is a bike run really a priority today - did he have to go off for the weekend after being away all week? I dunno op

I wouldn’t have minded having to go to work. But he shouldn’t have fucked of this weekend with his brother. Didn’t he think your ds might want to see his dad this weekend. Bit of tlc spoil him a bit? Give you a break? Selfish I think.

Him going to work was totally reasonable, there was just no need to stay home. Bike ride also reasonable, the surgery didn’t need you both clogging up the hospital. But I think he should have cancelled his evening this weekend, his son would appreciate him at home and it’s weird that he didn’t consider cancelling a social weekend away after this week.

Same here!

I think the going to work this week while your son was waiting for surgery was fine, however I cannot imagine DH going off for the weekend on a bike event after being away most of the week when his son had had surgery, on a limb or otherwise! Christ my DH cancelled evening plans when the cat had emergency surgery!

Ignore the first poster. It’s absolutely not normal behaviour for your husband to swan off on a bike ride meaning you need to leave your child in hospital alone in order to go collect your other child and then look after them alone while he galavants around.
Your DH needs an empathy bypass.
But then again there’s no way this is truly new behaviour to you, I’m sure if you really think your husband is a detached half arsed father the rest of the time.
Theres no way in hell my husband would be off driving to see his brother for a bike ride while our child was in hospital.

This is exactly what my ex would have done. All parenting, especially boring inconvenient hospital stuff where they don’t even have decent WiFi or a Starbucks, was my responsibility. If he had anything planned, like a football game to watch on tv, then that was that, he was Busy, end of story.

My partner is the opposite - he’d be bringing in snacks and stuff, taking a turn sitting with his stepson and telling me to go home and rest.

I’m almost embarrassed at the shit I put up with from my ex.

I get that he may not have been able to take off work, and if you don’t work then that’s definitely ok. But I would have expected him to take full charge of younger one and be available until child is fully round from GA and definitely ok. Ideally not to to bike event until the Saturday if possible.

This is a massive red flag for him being a selfish, entitled <insert insultofchoice> here. I would never forgive this lack of interest and lack of support. You'd have been better off as a single-parent family in this situation, because other people would havev rallied around.
Typo edits

Well of course. We can’t have him slightly inconvenienced by a thing like surgery

I’m so glad you are reflecting on this. Imagine you had decided to go off for cycle instead of sitting with your child at hospital?

He is meant to be a parent too.

I'd expect DH to take on the care of the other child if you were at hospital with one of them and still had school pick up to do. If I'm reading correctly you had to leave your eldest at hospital to pick up your youngest from school? That would be what annoyed me the most. If he was working that would be different but he wasn't.