To miss the first lockdown?

One more try - lockdown was the opportunity to acclimatise people to a world totally reliant on tech, most of which is now driven by AI, which has more downsides and potential for long term harm than upsides - a bit like lockdown really.....

I don’t.

My recently widowed mother was left alone and like many 2 of my children were left very unwell from it as a result. They were left high and dry by CAMHS and their entire year group were utterly shafted in the education system. Schools and services are still dealing with the impact from loss of schooling and care years later. And all the time Tories partied.

It was ridiculous and completely unnecessary.

I'm trying to understand your point about AI and bringing it up on a thread about missing lockdown that's all.

No, I'm pointing out the penalty use of disaster capitalism which comes with a side effect of psychological manipulation.

My tinfoil hat is in the wash.

Away with you and your attempts to put words in my mouth.

Covid was real.

Its origins are still not fully determined, and until they are, we remain none the wiser.

@Thepeopleversuswork

This bizarre atomisation of society found its rallying cry during COVID and a lot of the "taking it slow" and "reconnecting" narratives really play into this idea of people retreating into small family units. So I find it really hard to feel positive about people posting screeds about how great it was that they only saw their husband and children for 18 months. To me, there's nothing positive about that at all and I don't want to be feeling nostalgic about this.

I just want to say that I think it is fabulous if you spent more time with your family when you usually wouldn’t. And if you genuinely created great memories. For me things weren’t bliss, I was furloughed, had a child and couldn’t see anyone else. But I do have amazing memories with my daughter that we speak about today. And I think it is so so important that we value small family units because in my opinion we don’t value family enough - we are so individualistic.

I sadly know so many people who this scenario was a curse for though! So many break ups. But I also know couples who are surprised that they survived covid and are stronger for it.

Whilst I agree with a few of your points, I want to highlight that for me, I find that the UK is one of the worst places to raise a family. I have 2 kids - the stats show that children in the UK are the most unhappiest in Europe and we have the worst paternity. Our school system is failing many children and the fact that as parents we work are butts off and have a poor work/life balance means it’s horrible for some children. Child poverty is going up! Record high of children in temp accommodation, crowded homes.

If we had a sense of pride in our families and a sense to protect the family unit, would things be better? Not sure. But I would love to see more support for families. A safe and loving home makes more balanced people (in my opinion).

I want to highlight that it is so important that we acknowledge family ties. But being a strong family can also make you a blessing to your community. I was a single mum during covid and some of the most amazing people that helped out had families - children and husbands or partners, and also contributed by helping at food banks or creating a virtual library - and brought the kids along with them.

I guess what I’m trying to say is family is important. And it shouldn’t be either or - you can go away with your family and spend quality time with them - and can spend 18 months locked away - but families are strong contributors to their communities (some).

I think it’s fine to feel like this in your head, but not to express it unless you know your audience well.

For me it was the opposite of a blissful slowing down, it was hell on earth.

Single parent, at that time to 6 and 11 year olds. Public sector job that couldn’t be furloughed but not then considered key so had to work full pelt whilst trying to home school. Then 6 yo later diagnosed with ADHD so really couldn’t do any work independently, and bored to tears unless on screens. Plus no adult company.

Then seeing family without young children, often retired, posting picture of themselves sitting blissfully in gardens, knowing they had cast iron excuse not to help me when I was in hell.

We also live in London so no lovely beautiful countryside or seaside walks. And people were utter bastards about “their” areas and no one coming to them for walks.

It was such a horribly unequal time and the government made no effort at all to equal it out, so the burdens fell more fairly, especially in the first lockdown.

Edit - oh and exh decided to go completely to grown and obviously couldn’t be interrupted in his work. And when he did have the kids he was constantly bringing 6 yo back after a few hours rather than having him overnight as “oh he wants to come back”.

I think this was a massive part of it.

The only other times I have felt similar is walking through (certain bits of) London when either the marathon or Ride London has been on and many roads have been closed to vehicles. It’s peaceful and you can enjoy the scenery.

The ‘slower pace of life’ everyone on here thinks people can recreate for themselves rely on the vast majority of people adopting the same pace.

Much increased WFH, much less rushing from school to work to lunch back to work back to school to 2 separate clubs with 2 seperate kids and then home for dinner, maybe via a supermarket. Every day. All in the car. Multiplied by the whole country. That not happening is what I miss from the lockdown period, so unless the world is happy to return again to vastly WFH, every family is willing to go to and accept their closest school, and have a SAHP to walk the school run etc etc then no. I can’t recreate the safe and peaceful walks, bike rides etc. Of course I accept that the above will likely never ever be possible, people seem to love commuting for more money rather than prioritising a local job, some kids SEN means they have to go o a school miles away, and councils give choices and schools are oversubscribed, bosses love bums on seats and we are where we are. It’s out of individual control a lot of the time. That’s why all I have is to be nostalgic about that bit of 2020 when the sun was out, the cars were off the road and you could just enjoy your local neighbourhood.

Or that people shouldn't have their opinions challenged.

challenged? You want to challenge people's own experience and feelings?

Are you suggesting they released the covid virus in order to have a world controlled by AI?

Or that people shouldn't have their opinions challenged.

Their opinions of their own memories and experiences? Righty ho.

I find it fascinating because a lot of people talk about it as if the world stopped and changed completely (which for many people I suppose it sort of did?).

I was a trainer in the ambulance service at the time so no furlough, we had to condense our training dramatically to get more people through as quickly as possible, so it was a very hectic time at work.

DD was in a school hub as a key worker child, I didn't have to queue for the shops or anything because they had that NHS worker priority thing. We were fairly new to the area and didn't have many friends there at that point. Life carried on mostly as normal except that we couldn't travel to visit family and DD's Rainbows group had stopped.

I don't miss it but yeah, it's always a bit strange to hear people talk about March 2020 as this massive shift and to feel like I didn't experience that!

@RichHolidayPoorHoliday

Surely a forum that size is the best place to find people with similar interests and memories?
Isn't that the whole point of MN? Talk about any random or less random subjects and exchange on the subject.

of course. It doesn't mean all opinions are equal though. Or that people shouldn't have their opinions challenged.

I dont think it changed anyone though, just gave certain people the internal power to stand up more for who they are. Someone who hated socialising but just went along with it, found the voice to say actually no, I'm going to live my life the way I want. People haven't actually changed.

Some of the most sociable people I know are in some ways the most unaccepting of different types of people. They socialise with their own kind, people that are like them. They keep 'different' people at arms length. These networks of sociable people still operate in a bubble in reality.

I understand what you're saying: a lot of people enjoyed being able to take their foot off the pedal and enjoy more quality time and some people have tried and largely failed to make this a more permanent feature of their lives. And people who previously had felt very marginalised were now included in a way they hadn't been. Who couldn't relate to that?

That is NOT what I’m saying. The very opposite of what I’m saying. Many of the client group I worked with (disabled people) were able to fully put their feet ON the pedal - in some cases for the first time in their lives - due to lockdown.

They were able to WFH, improved accessibility provision meant they could attend online events and meeting anywhere in the country and know if they asked for access provision, they stood a reasonable chance of getting it. Lockdowns and the improved online access gave many disabled people the chance to experience the everyday, basic pleasures that so many non-disabled people take absolutely for granted.

In terms of accessibility, my client group wasn’t silo-d or more isolated - they had far more access to community, to other people, to participation, to a fuller life.

But the minute we pivoted back to in-person delivery, all of that went out the window and it was business as usual.

The pandemic and lockdown, with its extreme universal reliance on technology in every aspect of life provided fertile testing ground for AI. This is when it started to seep in and be trained, ready for the absolute explosion of it now.

Things like the 77th brigade were beavering away in the background, monitoring and manipulating against "disinformation" even when people were just asking questions about things that didn't add up.

On the tech front it was as close to a lab created environment on both practical and psychological fronts. We were all in thrall to tech - Covid apps, vaccination passports etc.

A fully digitised society run by AI is the nightmare fuel for dozens of Dystopian Sci Fi films and novels. If you can't see the correlation, with deepest irony, Google (or Claude) could be your friend.

No event occurs in isolation, and without alteration of the "time" before. The ripples may seem subtle but they go on.

The OP's thread just sounds like special pleading for mummies who miss pottering in their vegetable patch.

and so what?

Surely a forum that size is the best place to find people with similar interests and memories?

Isn't that the whole point of MN? Talk about any random or less random subjects and exchange on the subject.

@BogRollBOGOFyes, Thankyou I have three gorgeous kids and a good job (far from well paid 😂) and no contact with that person. I’m not bitter or anything but posts like the op are so ridiculous.

@RichHolidayPoorHoliday

The question is whether posting these experiences adds to the debate.
actually, It does. For example, so many (office) people have seen their work scheduled completely transformed by the lockdown, because people realise things COULD be done differently, because the money to put the infrastructure in place was spent anyway. On MN, everybody is apparently told to go back to the office 5 days a week, in real life, many companies don't even have enough desk to accommodate the staff there anyway.

Look I'm a huge fan of working from home. I've worked mainly from home since 2020 and wouldn't go back to full time office work if you paid me. I think that argument has largely been won, despite the rhetoric coming from the banks and accountancy firms.

But I don't see how one person's faux wide-eyed revelation that they had Very Good War face painting and baking muffins really supports that narrative. The OP's thread just sounds like special pleading for mummies who miss pottering in their vegetable patch.

Thankyou @Orangeandpurpletulipsexactly

There were physical access issues as well that obviously improved with everything moving online. Disabled people, non-drivers and even people who were just plain dog-tired after a long day at work, could now attend online meetings and events that were usually held in inaccessible buildings, the arse end of nowhere, the other end of the country, etc, etc.

For many of the people I worked with, the difference that all this sudden improved access made to their lives (however temporarily) really can’t be overstated. They GAINED community, participation and confidence from the lockdowns, not the isolationist bubbles that some posters seem to think was the only outcome of lockdowns.

I think it’s ok to miss the lockdown period if you actually had a half decent time.

I don’t miss the pandemic but I do miss some elements of lockdown. I have a busy life in a busy city and was looking after my primary school aged child along - yes there were stresses, but as a mum I had to try so so hard to make the experience as I scary as possible for her. And on the back of that we did create lovely memories that we speak about today. And because of the massive community action, which we never get in my city, I met so many neighbours who I am friends with now and I would have never met - mainly because we all have such busy lives and we came together virtually to help our neighbourhood.

It was definitely bitter sweet - but these posts can be insensitive. As there are people with awful memories. Whilst some of us feel fortunate to have made it out, whilst managing to take a break and reflect. It could have gone either way for any of us - and I don’t miss the high anxiety - particularly from the first lockdown

Yes it's good to debate topics sometimes and good to voice your opinion on something whether you agree or disagree with posters. Cant expect people to be silent if they view something differently.

You post reminded me at the height of lockdown my child headteacher sent a whole school message to take the day off and paint rocks, to have a happy well being day! and post the results on their school platform as part of a competition. I read it and nearly choked on my morning coffee. Shops were shut so couldn’t get paint, no rocks about as we couldn’t go very far from home and the majority of mums were key workers working from home. I was desperately working for my employer to keep a roof over our head but teachers were instructing us into this strange alternative world making mothers feel guilty for not being able to give there child the same experience as others.

Everyone had a different experience. But I do miss the first lockdown. I understand for many it was not an enjoyable time, but as much as it was awful for some, it wasn't for others. Everyone's life is different and some people's lives were affected negatively and others positively. Just the way the cookie crumbles! I'm sure if it happened now I wouldn't enjoy it because my life now has changed a lot since then.

@Butchyrestingface

Many of my clients say the same thing - and no, it's NOT possible for them to recreate that experience now. The accessibility they so enjoyed for, in many cases, the first time in their lives as disabled people, completely dried up the minute we went back to in-person events. They caught a glimpse of what their lives COULD be like and then it was snatched away from them again.

I understand what you're saying: a lot of people enjoyed being able to take their foot off the pedal and enjoy more quality time and some people have tried and largely failed to make this a more permanent feature of their lives. And people who previously had felt very marginalised were now included in a way they hadn't been. Who couldn't relate to that?

Let's put to one side the point about the tact of posting about what a wonderful time you're having when people are dying and going broke: I feel really strongly about this but that's not what you're talking about...

What has worried me a great deal is the fetishization of people retreating from society which has occurred over the past five years. COVID wasn't the only factor here: there are lots of other social and technological triggers (smartphones are a big one). But COVID empowered a lot of people to say: "I'm going to opt out of being a social person and this is a good thing". All the posts about people spending time with "my little family" etc. People who had previously struggled with having to interact with other people felt liberated not to do it so they just stopped.

Some people welcome this on the grounds that it lets them off the hook with having to go to dinner parties etc. I don't welcome it. I think a healthy society depends on a complex network of relationships between different types of people. Part of the reason why, as a society, people are so polarised nowadays is because these networks which has sustained and connected people for centuries are being eroded and people have less and less contact with other people who are different from them.

This bizarre atomisation of society found its rallying cry during COVID and a lot of the "taking it slow" and "reconnecting" narratives really play into this idea of people retreating into small family units. So I find it really hard to feel positive about people posting screeds about how great it was that they only saw their husband and children for 18 months. To me, there's nothing positive about that at all and I don't want to be feeling nostalgic about this.