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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To miss the first lockdown?

756 replies

TidyOchreReader · 20/06/2025 19:20

I know it was a tough time for many but I genuinely loved that first lockdown. I think about it all the time. There was something strangely blissful about slowing down, having fewer obligations and just focusing on connecting with people - even though we couldn’t physically see them. And when you did see someone, the gratitude was immense. AIBU to feel nostalgic for that time?

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 21/06/2025 00:00

nam3c4ang3 · 20/06/2025 23:45

Fucking hell OP some of us lost family members. They died. DIED. But yes, great, lockdown was great.

Calm down. Thankfully everyone's experience was different.

Funnywonder · 20/06/2025 23:57

joliefolle · 20/06/2025 23:48

@Funnywonder Your elderly mother who lived alone with dementia rapdily went down hill, was depressed and confused due to loneliness and isolation as a result of the lockdowns (all your words) but overall lockdown was a moment of bliss for you because you "struggle socially" so it gave you an out of having to interact with other poeple? That is not bliss. That is self-indulgent denial. Your poor mother - someone, and not saying it should have been you, needed to be helping her, not locking her away so she deteriorated so badly. Fucking awful.

I was bloody helping her. Me. Just me and nobody else. Where on earth did I say I wasn’t? I loved her. I spent as much time as I could with her.

Crikeyalmighty · 20/06/2025 23:56

@RichHolidayPoorHoliday I am sure plenty of us can tolerate it - but maybe better as one of those things you keep to yourself given the amount of people who had a totally shit time - to be honest to me if feels a bit like saying I’m knocking off a married man and having a fabulous time -

PopeJoan2 · 20/06/2025 23:55

LyndaSnellsSniff · 20/06/2025 21:35

I think that for some fortunate people, the brain plays tricks on us and manages to gloss over the awful stuff and just recalls the beautiful weather and the "back to nature" feel if it all. I know that when I think of that first lockdown, my first thought is of early morning walks, sunshine and lots of flowers. But then I delve a bit deeper and I remember the fear, uncertainty and worry.

I work in a school and in our 2025/26 reception intake, 14 children already have EHCPs in place. To have enough evidence at that age to get an EHCP is unusual. These children were all born during the lockdowns. Surely that's not simply coincidence?

My friends children - middle class, comfortably off, nice parents - ended up with quite bad mental health issues during and after the pandemic.

joliefolle · 20/06/2025 23:54

RichHolidayPoorHoliday · 20/06/2025 23:50

what also confirms it is posts like this, people who cannot tolerate that someone has a different experience. Talk about narcissism!

Are you serious? Your post makes no sense, but have a great evening.

Funnywonder · 20/06/2025 23:54

nam3c4ang3 · 20/06/2025 23:45

Fucking hell OP some of us lost family members. They died. DIED. But yes, great, lockdown was great.

But the OP isn’t saying lockdown was great for everyone. Elderly people I used to know (one of whom I interviewed for a degree project) had wonderful memories of the 2nd World War. The woman I spoke to said they were some of the happiest years of her life.

And some of them lost family members. They died. DIED.

PopeJoan2 · 20/06/2025 23:53

Lavendersong · 20/06/2025 19:23

It ruined lives and businesses so no I don’t miss it

And we are still suffering the consequences of that. Even though BJ told us that we weren’t.

RichHolidayPoorHoliday · 20/06/2025 23:50

joliefolle · 20/06/2025 23:35

The lockdowns reinforced lack of empathy and narcissistic tendencies. The fact that people still start threads like this, knowing what the response will be, how it will provoke people who suffered badly, confirms this. YABU to start this thread.

what also confirms it is posts like this, people who cannot tolerate that someone has a different experience. Talk about narcissism!

RichHolidayPoorHoliday · 20/06/2025 23:49

nam3c4ang3 · 20/06/2025 23:45

Fucking hell OP some of us lost family members. They died. DIED. But yes, great, lockdown was great.

Most of us lost family members.

Knowing that others enjoyed their lockdown makes 0 difference, it wouldn't be easier or more pleasant if everyone was having a shit time.

joliefolle · 20/06/2025 23:48

@Funnywonder Your elderly mother who lived alone with dementia rapdily went down hill, was depressed and confused due to loneliness and isolation as a result of the lockdowns (all your words) but overall lockdown was a moment of bliss for you because you "struggle socially" so it gave you an out of having to interact with other poeple? That is not bliss. That is self-indulgent denial. Your poor mother - someone, and not saying it should have been you, needed to be helping her, not locking her away so she deteriorated so badly. Fucking awful.

nam3c4ang3 · 20/06/2025 23:45

Fucking hell OP some of us lost family members. They died. DIED. But yes, great, lockdown was great.

Shenmen · 20/06/2025 23:44

goingroundthebendatthisrate · 20/06/2025 23:39

What do you mean by "fine"?

As in it wasn't that bad. I've had much shitter times in my life then not being able to go out the house for a bit. I might be a bit different from other people in the fact that I've been sectioned several times which was much more constrictive and I've also had several long-term health problems that meant I was too ill to leave the house for months on end and thought I might die. I was therefore thinking this will be all right and I knew it would end at some point and it did relatively quickly compared to some of the other shit I've been through.

ExercicenformedeZ · 20/06/2025 23:42

I find threads like this so annoying. If you want to chill out at home and bake banana bread, knock yourself out! Nobody's stopping you. If you need a pandemic to take life at a pace that suits you, I don't know what to say to you except get a grip and stop being a sheep. I am a serious introvert who loves my own company and loves being at home, and I LOATHED lockdown. I loathed the fact the government felt that they could tell us what to do with no end in sight, and keep us under house arrest, all while merrily breaking the rules themselves. After the incident with Dominic Cummings, that was it for me. I stopped following any rules that weren't actively imposed. I also never wore a mask, those were utterly ludicrous. They did nothing and just created mounds of vile, dirty litter.

rumblegrumble · 20/06/2025 23:41

goingroundthebendatthisrate · 20/06/2025 23:27

My neighbours all shut themselves away. We live on a small estate and often see people come & go. Never saw a soul in lockdown except at 8pm on a thursday. Some people were terrified to set foot out of the house.

Edited

I think I was lucky, I already knew one of my neighbours so we were in constant contact as it all progressed, and lockdown was called. Then one day we decided to risk meeting up outside - 6 foot apart, of course. We did that everyday, and brought out our coffee. Then one day she brought wine... and suddenly all the other neighbours started talking to us 😂

Many of us had lived there for years and never spoken, which suddenly seemed liked the weirdest thing in the world.

goingroundthebendatthisrate · 20/06/2025 23:39

Shenmen · 20/06/2025 23:35

Come on that first lockdown was fine. I mean I have a chronic severe health condition but that shit is always with me and DH was front line paramedic so he had shit. But for the kids it was grand (they were 8, 13 and 15). No school was great. I only had to work 3 days a week and was furloughed for 2. We got to go out of our shitty park but it was sunny. Then the rule of 6 came in and they got to hang out with 6 mates all over the city. Dh got long COVID and my auntie died of it but otherwise it was ok for us. Obviously not for those people who lost close family.
The second one was shite. It was miserable weather the older kids had to be on 5 hour on their screens. And my business went under. DHs long COVID got worse and everyone was fed up with it all

What do you mean by "fine"?

Funnywonder · 20/06/2025 23:38

Fair enough. It is well known that many many people had a terrible time during lockdown. And talking about that and reflecting on it here is understandable. But why are some posters chastising others who say their experience was positive? Why are the bad experiences the only valid ones? My lockdown life was mixed. For me, there were some really challenging issues with my elderly mum who had dementia and lived alone. She went rapidly downhill, mainly due to isolation and loneliness. She very suddenly forgot where the local shop was and how to do basic things. She became virtually immobile from lack of exercise. She was very depressed and her memory deteriorated massively. And I had the task of trying to deal with the fallout with absolutely zero support. But yet, overall, I still enjoyed lockdown. I struggle socially and lockdown was like heaven to me for that reason alone. It probably wasn’t good for my wellbeing in the grand scheme of life because not having to step outside my comfort zone was not necessarily a good thing. But taken in isolation as a single experience suspended in time, for me it was bliss.

Crikeyalmighty · 20/06/2025 23:36

I accept that some people quite enjoyed it especially if you were not at risk of being homeless or having little money or being stuck with someone 24/7 you might not want to be with 24/7 - however given the loss of lives, the loss of careers and businesses and the damage to many people’s mental health , I think it’s a complete lack of empathy for many not in ‘your’ situation not to keep the fact ‘you’ had a nice few months reset /fun time to yourself .

joliefolle · 20/06/2025 23:35

The lockdowns reinforced lack of empathy and narcissistic tendencies. The fact that people still start threads like this, knowing what the response will be, how it will provoke people who suffered badly, confirms this. YABU to start this thread.

Shenmen · 20/06/2025 23:35

goingroundthebendatthisrate · 20/06/2025 23:22

I can't even recall this "second lockdown", to me it just all felt like one big shitty time, where come the June-ish time we were allowed to do a bit more than we had been doing, but not a lot.

Everything I did, I felt guilty about. Guilt at going out. Guilt that I may not be following the rules correctly. Guilt that was I wasn't as easily able to cope mentally as others were. For two solid years it felt like a bad dream. I still don't believe there was ever a time when we were actually told we could go back to normal. More that restrictions and U-turns stopped happening. But never a sounding of the all-clear.

Come on that first lockdown was fine. I mean I have a chronic severe health condition but that shit is always with me and DH was front line paramedic so he had shit. But for the kids it was grand (they were 8, 13 and 15). No school was great. I only had to work 3 days a week and was furloughed for 2. We got to go out of our shitty park but it was sunny. Then the rule of 6 came in and they got to hang out with 6 mates all over the city. Dh got long COVID and my auntie died of it but otherwise it was ok for us. Obviously not for those people who lost close family.
The second one was shite. It was miserable weather the older kids had to be on 5 hour on their screens. And my business went under. DHs long COVID got worse and everyone was fed up with it all

MrsdMrsIMrsffi · 20/06/2025 23:34

I was also very lucky in that we stayed well and thankfully no one was seriously ill but yes I loved it.

OH worked the usual 40+ hours and I took care of dc mostly alone and it was lovely not having to work and focus on dc.

it was quite significant in teaching me what we take for granted and the importance of those important to us and also taking things slow.

I identify with what you say op and we are so lucky to feel this way about that time.

AffableApple · 20/06/2025 23:34

YANBU because you clearly had a great time. But everyone's experience was different.

I missed my partner, and my wider family; but it spurred me on to make big, useful changes in my life.

I enjoyed the freedom of commuting as a key worker, but not a medical one, so no dealing with Covid patients: I can't begin to imagine what that was like.

I enjoyed extending my commute to occasionally check on aging parents in their garden. Though I worried about them, a lot. (Always within the law/guidelines. I forgot what all the rules were at various points.)

I got to pop into lots of metro/local supermarkets on my commute, and found buying anything - including loo roll and pasta - easy.

I'm an unsociable cow, and just doing loads of online exercise workouts when not at work was amazing. I rinsed Netflix. I think I completed Amazon Prime.

If it happened to me now, with a young family, not living in a city and with a job to physically go to; I would be at the end of my tether with 36 hours. And I would not be nostalgic or grateful for that time. Hats off to anyone who struggled.

RichHolidayPoorHoliday · 20/06/2025 23:27

goingroundthebendatthisrate · 20/06/2025 23:25

Oh Ok, I was thinking this was people on the street, etc. Thanks for clarifying.

there also were a lot on local facebook groups, but I can't really link to those. And they won't anonymous.

If I remember well, it got really heated about schools, would NEVER happen.

goingroundthebendatthisrate · 20/06/2025 23:27

rumblegrumble · 20/06/2025 23:20

Well, I enjoyed mine as I spent it drinking outside with my neighbours. Had a great time, it was like being 18 again. But I'm aware most people did not have the same experience, plus a lot of people died, and our economy's fucked. So I think on balance my fun time summer probably wasn't worth all the awful, and I wouldn't do it again.

My neighbours all shut themselves away. We live on a small estate and often see people come & go. Never saw a soul in lockdown except at 8pm on a thursday. Some people were terrified to set foot out of the house.

goingroundthebendatthisrate · 20/06/2025 23:25

RichHolidayPoorHoliday · 20/06/2025 23:23

just read the threads on MN on the subject, between (roughly) February and April of that year? You don't need to go any further than MN.

It got more agitated as more European countries went into lockdown, but it was posts after post of laughing at people scaremongering, and bravado "they cant' tell me what to do, I am not going into lockdown me".

And then. It happened.

Oh Ok, I was thinking this was people on the street, etc. Thanks for clarifying.

RichHolidayPoorHoliday · 20/06/2025 23:23

goingroundthebendatthisrate · 20/06/2025 23:18

Genuine question, what people? I have never heard anyone speak like that.

just read the threads on MN on the subject, between (roughly) February and April of that year? You don't need to go any further than MN.

It got more agitated as more European countries went into lockdown, but it was posts after post of laughing at people scaremongering, and bravado "they cant' tell me what to do, I am not going into lockdown me".

And then. It happened.