Finally spoke to the neighbours..WIU?

Like my mother said to me when her neighbours were stopping my toddler having her afternoon nap, "The world doesn't stop because you had a child."

They can have their door open, especially in the heat.

So they need to close their door so your ds can have his window open and it’s taken you 4 years to even say anything?

If I'd lived in a bungalow for years and was elderly, my heart would sink at kids moving in next door. Old people in bungalows expect their neighbours to be their peers.
Have you ever considered that?
Maybe move to an estate house where you would have like minded people around you with small kids.

YABU, if for some reason they prefer to open the back door than the windows that is absolutely fine, why don’t you close your DC’s window once he goes to bed and use a fan?

So you have elderly neighbours, who have lived there a long time, and their longstanding usual enjoyment of their home includes having their back door open, yet you expect them to now start shutting it. Yes YABU. Shut your son’s window, get him a little air con unit and leave them to their routine.
A lot of people leave their back doors open til late in warm weather, including me and my neighbours.

Yes, you're being unreasonable attempting to dictate how he chooses to ventilate his own house! The noise is another story, they shouldn't be inconsiderate.

YABU to expect your neighbours to keep their door closed. You bought a bungalow in a residential area, not the middle of nowhere, of course you're going to hear some noise.

I hate having my kitchen door closed, it makes me feel very hemmed in during the summer. Most people surely want to pop in and out of their gardens and enjoy the weather?

I think you are very unreasonable! I also live with my doors and windows open. Noise is part of life.

I think you are being a bit unreasonable here. You want them to close their door to enable you to keep your son’s window open. Why do your needs trump theirs? They are elderly & opening a door is way easier than leaning over counters to open/close windows.
If they still woke him through a closed window, then it’s fair to ask them.
Shut your child’s window, put up a thermal blackout blind, keep door & blind closed during the day so room doesn’t get warm, small air con unit or fan for further comfort!
This is a problem easily solved yourself without asking your neighbour to change how they live.

OP, do you have any idea how entitled you sound? Close the window and get a fan or air conditioning unit.
My back door is open from first thing until last thing if I'm in.
I take it your children are silent, never shout scream, cry, talk loudly, giggle, laugh, play with noisy toys etc. They never disturb anyone in the vicinity?
To be honest you don't seem to be suited to living near other people. Maybe you should think about moving to somewhere with more space between neighbours.

You can ask them to be more mindful of noise however you are entirely unreasonable to think you can police when they have their door open. Shut your sons window??

Yes, YABU to ask them to close the door. I assume they tolerate your noise too, particularly with little kids.

I feel quite sorry for your neighbours, tbh. Sounds like it has really worried them. If these issues were so important, why didn’t you speak up sooner? It’s a nerve to tell them what windows they should be opening. They shouldn’t have to change how they live to accommodate you OP, that seems very unfair.

Totally agree!

I’d quit while you’re ahead. They turned down the phone volume. I think if you ask for more you’ll be pushing it. I’d thank them very much and get a big fan for DS.

So if you have a 1year old who wakes often you might as well put them in that bedroom? Honestly you're being so unreasonable trying to dictate when they have their door open and to use windows instead.

Also, thinking about it, your neighbours seem to want to do something to help, just not close their door. Afterall, they've already reduced the sound of the phone, for you.
Where we live, we have an ice cream van that comes around at about 7-7.30pm most evenings with chimes playing incredibly loudly. I would imagine this must really annoy for those parents who have put children to bed at that time, but, unfortunately, this is just something that happens in the summer and you have to get used to it.
Maybe get a tall fan (or even a ceiling fan) to put in your son's room, so the window doesn't necessarily need to be open.

Get him some ear buds like flares to sleep in, my DD can't tolerate any noise and sometimes even wears her noise cancelling headphones in bed

You are so BU. Having a phone ring and a tv playing, a bit loudly/annoyingly? An occupational hazard of living with neighbours - and reading other threads here, your neighbours seem unremarkable. Move your son to a different room or close his windows or do some soundproofing. Don't impose your into,erances on others going about their business

My kitchen door is open all summer so that the dogs can potter in and out as they choose. The only time it’s closed is if it’s raining or we’ve got the heating on.
I would get your son a fan, our youngest is a fairly light sleeper but goes to bed at 7.30, I can’t keep his window open because of the usual comings and goings of neighbours etc but we’re in a terrace.
You’re detached and struggling so the most sensible thing to do is to provide your child with a sound proof cool enough room to cater for his need, not ask your neighbour to to adjust their day to day living carried out within expected times ie 7am-10.00pm

To be fair to them they sound like they must be suffering from hearing loss. And if the older resident was never in that room they might not have had a clue it was so intrusive.

So YABU for not saying it the first time it happend.

Are you really saying that you think you have the right to dictate when your neighbours have their door open? Just because you are happy with having your windows open, maybe they have a reason they prefer the door open?
Sorry, but, respectfully, your child's bedtime is not their problem!
I'd be furious if my neighbour tried to tell me what to do just to make their life easier!

They are obviously a bit deaf but my son said it wakes him up when his little window is open

Close his little window then.

Why should they close their door when you have your DS window open. Closing either would be unpleasant in this weather so YABVU.

not my front door but I have got 3 lots of garden doors (kitchen, lounge dining room, garden wraps around house) and today they are all open.