‘Don’t splash me!’

I don’t want to be splashed by my children or told how to drive by my passenger either.

It sounds to me like someone who is quite stressed in normal life and hasn’t yet relaxed into holiday mode. I think you may be reading too much into it, OP.

Some of the responses here are madness. The man doesn’t need to be splashed in sea water if he doesnt really want to be, and he told the kid to stop. That does not seem entirely unreasonable. Evidently lots of people find it unpleasant - and it’s really not such a bad thing for kids to learn that not everything they do is delightful and needs to be indulged all the time.

You having a tantrum because he dared to talk about life admin while you were looking at the sea is totally unreasonable.

JFC. Consent before splashing your father on holiday? I think you've just peak mumsnetted.

But well done excusing a moody man and making the woman the fixer of all things.

I voted YANBU but tbh both DH and I take a couple of days to transition on holiday from frantic home life mode to holiday mode. Often at the start I’ll have work things on my mind until i start to relax and let go. So in that period sometimes we are snappy with each other. We are aware of it now but it doesnt excuse anyone acting like an arse, especially towards kids

Is he supposed to stand there silently enduring being splashed in the name of fun?
Expectations on parents are so bloody high.
I HATE being splashed, my kids don’t do it to me. (They do splash each other and their dad). We still go swimming and have lots of fun, just don’t splash me thanks.

You’ve written about your DD in a slightly sort of misty Disney way - “she turned to her dad and playfully splashed him- he screamed at her - she realised her mistake and whispered in a trembling voice “I’m sorry daddy - it’s just I love you much and want to play” - she bit her lip and single tear rolled down her long lashes into the ocean” type vibe which just isn’t really what kids are like IRL. I suspect you’ve got a vibe going about how it’s you two lovely girlies on one side looking at the sea and having snuggles and mocktails and the big horrible bloke talking about insurance on the other.
It’s not how I’d choose to organise my marriage and kids but I suspect it’s fairly ingrained by now.

If this is another incident in a long line of snappy, mardy behaviour that has eroded the relationship then you know what you’ve got to do. If it’s that he’s got some very real world things going on that he can’t switch off from and would like to discuss them but you are annoyed that he’s not #makingmemories then that’s a bit unreasonable on your behalf

Why is he talking about insurance on a little holiday?He sounds very boring and miserable.Poor child being shouted at when she was having a lovely time how much splashing can it be for such a response.She won’t forget that which is sad.Think carefully about your future he won’t improve.Try and make the most of your time away leave him to be miserable.

Kids shouldn't be splashing people who don't want to be splashed. Backseat driving is annoying.

You should just teach your child not to splash people because not everyone likes it.

OR

Teach her to splash away but accept that people might get cross with her because not everyone likes it.

My impression is that you have a vision of what family fun should look like & you are sad that he's not playing his part right.
Even though he didn't know there was an expectation to enjoy the cold water & not talk when you were looking at the sea.

And then maybe you were giving off a huffy vibe and maybe he's leaned into the mardy.

Or maybe he's just a boring dickhead? I don't know.

I hate being splashed and back seat drivers irritate me, but I’m with you on not wanting to talk insurance while on holiday.

It really is that simple. Sure, once you’ve made the decision stuff gets a bit harder to navigate but the decision is very simple. Do you want to spend the rest of your daughter’s childhood watching him wipe the smile from her face?

Exactly what I was about to say.

Sounds like you’ve made up your mind already, so I’m not sure what you’re hoping to gain from this post?

I wouldn’t have snapped but I hate being splashed in the swimming pool or sea so I don’t really blame him.

I also hate back street drivers, so I’d have been annoyed at that.

I must admit I hate being splashed.

Presume she’ll explain what the last bit, about saying horrible things, means

otherwise hes done nothing wrong.

He sounds like a fun sucker. What’s he like at home, is it more of the same?

What's he like in general? Is he having an off day?

I absolutely hate being splashed, it feels like a slap to face, and I'll tell anyone off for doing it. I also hate snowballing etc. It can be antisocial behaviour.

You need to teach DD about consent regarding touching other people's bodies with inanimate objects - water, sticks, snowballs etc.