‘Don’t splash me!’

Yep. If you're sure @Justputsomecocoabutteronit , that there's no hope of salvaging the relationship, then it's better that you seperate for your DD's sake. It's harmful for her to grow up in a toxic environment. There's a good chance she'll end up in bad relationships too, if it's all she's known.

If you don't separate then she will most likely end up in a similar kind of relationship because you showed her abusive behaviour from men is to be tolerated

@Justputsomecocoabutteronit wild stab in the dark - are you on holiday in Cornwall, and were you in St Ives yesterday?

Can’t stand passenger drivers - did you really think he didn’t see the man?
He seems like he needs a bit longer to get into vacation mode!

Honestly, I’ve said ‘Don’t slash me!!’ Many times befire. I hate when people do that (even more so when it’s done on purpose).
If your dd reacted to way she did (making herself small, apologies etc…), I’d suspect one of two things (or both) 1- his tone if voice was very harsh 2- she quite used to bring told off like this and knows how to smooth over things (apologies etc.l.).

The comment about the man? Again, it depends how iften it happens, if you’ve been told to not comment before etc… Because let’s be honest, it’s annoying yo have someone commenting on your driving constantly. My mum does that to my dad all the time and I’ve swore I’d never do it myself. Fir a start, it makes everyone more tense and more likely to not spot things.

HOWEVER, I’m also getting that him shouting at you and your dd p, being grumpy etc… is a common experience and doesn’t reflect the constantly putting down and walking on eggshells you’re both experiencing.
In which case, ignore those two incidents and look at the whole picture. How are you feeling around him? Does he bring you joy and happiness? Are you walking in eggshell etc… Looking at those two might not tell you the whole picture.

I know women like this. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Sadly they don’t really warn you about it before you have them!

Wow he sounds like horrible man.

OP you seem to have specific ideas about how you want your perfect holiday to go, and he’s not living up to them.

Generally it sounds like you’re not on the same wavelength as your DP and it’s making you unhappy. Are you looking for signs that the relationship is bad, or are these minor niggles that need putting into perspective?

Just read the whole thread - this isn't about your DC splashing DP in the face is it? You have bigger concerns about your relationship.

When my DCs were young we lived in a seaside town. They (like me) learned to swim in the sea. Splashing was encouraged as wanted them to feel confident.

But this isn't the real issue is it OP? You have bigger concerns about your relationship.

Op are you going to let us know what these “horrible things” he says are?

without that I tend to think he’s done nothing wrong tbh

This. Some parents are such martyrs. Having to go inside at 8pm on holiday! Really? 😂 My kids are all adults now and still remember some great holidays together but there were still boundaries and expectations of behaviour as the holiday was for everyone not just them.

I’ve never known a man like this. Maybe meet better men

Sounds like a standard family day out to me. On this occasion DH over-reacted, other times it will be you.

I've never had a family day out with DCs without one of them getting upset about something. That's family life - you just ride the wave, don't make it into a big issue & focus on the positives.

In the overall scheme of things not something to worry about.

Unless there are underlying issues that you haven't told us about...

It all sounds like a non-event from your post but you’re clearly not happy. You not being happy with his topics of conversation could easily be seen as controlling from your side. Lots of people wouldn’t be happy with a 6 year old splashing them. But you’re not happy. Focus on you OP. Figure out your plan. If it means living with less then do it.

Fun sponge - has he ever met a child before?

The whole point of going on trips like that, with children is to play and have fun. I am a rubbish swimmer, hate getting my face wet, but it’s hard not to be sucked into the ‘play’ when you see how much enjoyment it gives them. I stop short of water boarding, but in the sea, what was he expecting warm, dry nothing? Stand still and discuss the household budget? Time and a place - that one was for playing.
My dh is similar, dc are now grown up but we still talk about the ‘snowball incident’ and the ensuing sulk. Apparently that was cold too - who knew 🤷‍♀️

I’d probably have said the same re the splashing as I hate being splashed. He could have been a little gentler though, as she’s only little but guess he was shocked and the water is freezing in the UK.

Sorry you've had those experiences 😒

Him moaning about being splashed - Not unreasonable

Talking about insurance - Unreasonable and boring

You moaning about his driving - Unreasonable (and very Hyacinth Bucket)

Then you have to play the long game. What would your rights be if you could go home with her? Could you refuse to bring her back?

I agree with the person above. My Dad was like this, my ex (long term partner) was like this, my current partner is like this and at least one of my friends’ husband is like this. They just don’t have much patience in my experience and it seems the poster above had similar experiences. Just because you’re lucky enough to not have experienced it doesn’t mean it’s not common. Your friends likely hide their partners grumpiness from you because it’s embarrassing.

Can you not dump him and live separately in the same country? Do you have any legal protections in place, being legally single? Financially independent?
(Don't mean to interrogate, there just far more important matters in this relationship than water/insurance)

If my kids splash me in swimming pool I tell them I’m getting out. It creates a weird reaction in me I could honestly go mental at them .

What awful things does he say, could you expand?
How are you trapped living abroad?

@swimsong she wrote the water was cold in one of the replies