‘Don’t splash me!’

He sounds a bit grumpy but tbh, I don't like being splashed so would ask a child politely but firmly not to splash me.

Not sure what was wrong with him mentioning the insurance thing though? Perhaps it was on his mental to do list and he was just sharing.

And the driving one, hard to say. In theory it's very annoying to have a back seat driver but you were right to encourage him to slow down if he was going above the speed limit.

So difficult to judge all these instances without knowing the wider context of how equally the finances and mental load is being shared, whether he was in fact speeding and whether you do your share of the driving.

Well she won’t be splashing people again will she!

No, its not "part of being a man" my husband doesn't talk to me or the children like that, everyone male or female can get stressed and snappy, but this is not normal or just being a man. The thing is , is this normal for him? Or is this new behaviour maybe something worrying him? If its his usual behaviour then you need to have a conversation about this as unacceptable and if its new behaviour then maybe ask if he is stressed or worried about something.

Bloody hell, that poor little girl. Thank you for standing up for her. 💐

Why do you presume that?

No, not exempting myself at all. Most of us are guilty of the tendency.

However, what do you have to say about the point I'm making?

And you sign off with a critical generalisation about mumsnet posters - presumably exempting your unique self.

Well done.

I saw a young couple in St Ives the other day - she was pushing the buggy on ahead, and her partner was behind with the little girl who was having a bit of a tantrum and didn't want to walk. In a flash of rage he picked the little girl up off her feet and into the air by her forearm and shook her. It happened quite fast and the mum didn't see what he'd done at all. He then walked past us and took the screaming inconsolable tot over to the mum, and I had 'a word' with him as he passed me. If he'd shown any sign whatsoever of continuing to be like that with either the kid or the mum, I had my phone in my hand ready to film him doing it, and I would have called the police. It was a really busy street and if he's abusive towards the little child in public, it made me wonder what he's like behind closed doors.

I asked if it was you because you said you were on holiday, and you never know - stranger coincidences have happened.

So if anyone else was in St Ives on Thursday, and your partner was wearing a burgundy t-shirt and nonchalantly eating a Cornish pasty whilst you tried to stop your child from crying hysterically... now you know why.

Though if it were, it would completely let men off the hook, because it would mean they can't help it.

And this is the problem with making critical generalisations about men. If what you're saying is true of all men then it's intrinsic and there's no hope of it changing.

No. You need to be able to point to men who aren't like that, in order to demonstrate that there's the possibility of change in any man.

Same applies to politicians, hairdressers, cats, mothers-in-law, kids today - any group of whom MN is eager to make critical generalisations.

Same. I would have also scolded my dc for splashing. Very naughty thing to do especially as they will think it’s ok to do to others.

This is so common, and is definitely a sex thing. I refuse to believe there are dads out there who have given up on their grumpy, vibe killing wives and take their kids on holiday alone.

Such a good point about the driving. If something occurred because the op noticed a hazard but didn't say so, I wonder who's fault that would be? There are millions of bad drivers out there, many with a silent spouse sitting beside them.

I'd rather be a backseat driver and my kid be alive than a silent passenger risking an accident.

My ex used to make every holiday a miserable experience no matter where we went or how great the place was. I resorted to going on holiday on my own with my Dd. I understand why you feel sad about your dp not being able to enjoy the moment and lashing out at you and Dd... he probably won't change, you could try couples counselling? I tried it then divorced my ex because it didn't make any difference. Do you want to sign up for many more years like this or would you be happier solo living in a better atmosphere?

Op I too think this is about more than water and insurance. My exH was like this on vacation. Always snarling about something. Seemingly always annoyed with either me or dc for pretty routine behavior. I divorced him. When you cant even be fun or have fun on vacation surely it indicates something is amiss. You certainly have gotten some mixed reviews on this thread but I do think he’s ridiculous to sharply scold a dc for splashing while standing in the damn ocean. Also is he the same kind of guy if you didn’t say “hey careful watch” while driving would them scold and berate and blame you if he drove over the hapless pedestrian? If you can’t leave now enjoy your dc on your own. Plan and do with them and don’t worry about him. Think about how you could leave him or set up a different life or perhaps get him to move back to your country. Lastly think carefully about successfully changing this trajectory with yet another child. I had 2 but forgo my desire for a third so I could get out and get away.

I think at 4 it's old enough to understand that deliberately splashing people with cold water is annoying, and if you do it, people are likely to get annoyed. Sharply saying 'don't splash me' is ok. Getting really angry or yelling is disproportionate. From your OP, it sounded like the former to me

Is there any fun in your marriage and family life? Was this a one off?

I don’t like the shock of cold water. If he was standing trying to get used to the sea water he is probably the same. I don’t like to be splashed. Did he not see the man crossing the road?

If this was a women to a man there would be a like on of users telling the women she’s just having a laugh and the man is controlling.

such a BS post and replied.

grow up OP. No one likes having cold water thrown on them

I don't like being splashed and the water is always cold. But I really don't like the sound of your not dear husband. Id divorce him like I did my own fing fun sponge ex h.

It's always cold.

LTB, then.

I think you should take more tobacco with it.

Are you both getting enough sleep?