Don’t want Pick Me at our wedding

Why can’t any of these men have a word and address the issue?

There's lots of talk about how men should call out toxic men and 100% they should, and if men see a problem with another man and don't call it out or turn a blind eye then there just as bad as the perpetrator.
You don't want women to do the same? It would just be misogynistic right?
Please!
Living in a functioning society does call for ppl telling other people when they're totally out of fucking order, be they male or female.

Like when it comes to baby names, both agree, it’s on the list, one or other disagreeing means it’s off the list.

@BarbourAnne this will send a message and it will reset the whole behaviour thing somehow. It’ll give the rest of the team power to make a stance too

OP can I ask has anyone else ever excluded her previously or, apart from you, challenged her on her behaviour? She sounds likely a to need telling directly - ie Audrey you aren’t welcome to attend the wedding as your behaviour is so inappropriate it’s making people uncomfortable

Shameless victim blaming.

Perfect!
And if he still persists... well, why would you want to marry someone who disagrees with you on such a fundamental aspect of social behaviour? Fiddly fingered Sharon has shown, time and again, contempt for her friends' wives and partners.

You’re not wrong.
She wouldn’t get an invite from me either

So he didn’t actually mind?

I understand that you don't want her there because you don't like her (understandably). But if you genuinely mean that you "would never tell him who he can be friends with", then I think that has to extend to him being able to invite her to the wedding. If they had history, or she singled him out and you thought she had designs on him then I would have voted differently.
If you've already made your case for not inviting her and he still wants to, then I would suck it up (and seat her next to the toilet/tell her the dress code is lime green/order her a special tripe based meal or something similarly petty) and just absolutely ignore the fact she is there which would be easy because so many people you actually like and want to spend time with will be there. Bridesmaids would be under strict instructions to form a human shield around you if necessary.

Then that says a lot about them as well

If every other person in the team is invited it will look shitty if she’s not . So I can see it’s tricky for your dh but equally why should you have someone who makes you uncomfortable at your wedding?
But ultimately your issue is with your dh as a man in a commited relationship he should not be accepting this behaviour from her whether you are there or not. He needs to call her out.

she is a dick though, her half assed apology was clearly her saying “this is your problem not mine not your dhs” I’d have wanted to slap her.

And if she does start her nonsense at your wedding you are within your rights to say something.

Nothing to do with her being a threat. Obviously she is no threat to anyone, but creepy woman (pretend friend) is a sex pest and OPs boyfriend is fine with that. It's all a bit sad and weird tbh.

It is his wedding too she is part of his sport mates, if she starts her nonsense other people will see her for what she is a groper and an idiot, she is no threat to you

Strictly speaking, she isn't predatory. Predators chase their prey. She isn't chasing, because these men aren't running.

If women want to go round groping other women's husbands then I am not sure they are particularly deserving of respect. In much the same ways as it's generally seen as acceptable to talk in fairly derogatory tones about men who are sex pests.

I guess to avoid accusations of misogyny we can refer to both male and females who behave like this as sex pests perhaps? Or what term would you use to describe people who constantly make unsolicited sexual advances to others?

By that logic, not liking a guy groping you is misandry?!

This is the sort of “banter” women used to have to laugh along with in the City, not so many years ago.

The men or at least some of them, are acting like it’s “ok” because they’re being embarrassed/forced into that behaviour, just like the City women used to.

😅😂 You sound absolutely demented. Off your rocker. Mental.

Found the female "friend"😂

I too would be uncomfortable. She clearly has no respect for the relationships of her team mates or her own relationship. Does her "DP" know she behaves this way around her team mates? I know very very few men who would be happy with their partner groping other men. The men also need to be standing up for their relationships, it is not respectful at all to your partner to allow someone else to grope you and laugh about it and be like "oh my wife doesn't like it, she's so upright". It re-enforces the laddette low class "I'm not like other girls" behaviour of this woman.

If your DP is insistent she come, I would be tempted to tell everyone to be aware of the "handsy Hannah". Are you on good terms with the other wives? If so I'd get them on side, same with your bridesmaids. Make it uncomfortable for the handsy woman. I would also be tempted to bring it up in conversation with her DP, oh I hear "Hannah" has groped the whole team over the past few years... She groped my DH the other week. She also groped "Shelly's" DH the week before. Call me petty but some people deserve the scorn of other women and also clues her DP into some of her behavior.

It’s BOTH of their’s wedding and neither should be forced to have anyone there who makes them uncomfortable. Especially when that person likes to sexually assault others. And that is what it is make no mistake. Be interesting to see what your opinion would be if sexes reversed. Op you are absolutely not being unreasonable and your partner needs to respect your wishes on this.

I couldn't have said it better.
There's no way she gets an invite.

She isn’t a real friend to him. She’s part of a group.

If one of the men phoned him and asked him out for a quick pint, he would go. If she asked to meet him on his own I bet he wouldn’t go.

Tell him straight that under no circumstances is she to come as predatory people whether they be man or woman are not welcome.

Nah. Peak mumsnet would be ltb followed by calling her a racist for "reasons" and a screeching lecture relying entirely on ad hominems, ending in the phrase "peak mumsnet".