Don’t want Pick Me at our wedding

There's an insagrammer @ riribibi_
Who makes fun of people like this, it feels scarily close to what you're going through...

She sounds awful

Seriously.? She is touching parts of people’s bodies . If they can’t know then as the wife I’d be saying no.

oooo intersting point

That was 3 years ago

They’ve had 3 years of socialising without you there. You don’t think she’s ever done it again to your husband and he hasn’t just shrugged it off / lapped it up rather than say anything because you weren’t there to witness?

Hopefully not, as she’s female? Otherwise she’ll probably try to sh&g the whole team “just for a laugh”

Another thread in the making right there!!

Are you also planning to put a stop to her going to the stag?

Sounds like the men actually enjoy it. If any of them had seriously told her to stop, there is no way it would have continued for this many years. If they were uncomfortable they would have dumped her from the team. Unfortunately it looks like it's only the wife and girlfriends who are complaining. Everyone else seems to enjoy her company.

This.

She sounds like a nightmare and definitely not someone you want at your wedding. Is he really inviting every single other team member?

Either way, YADNBU to take a stand on this,

Just wondering op, is she being invited to the stag do???

Not when they have the potential to cause a scene at a wedding they don’t.

How wife should be his priority over a flaky friend

I assume this is a joke? I’m asking if the partner has been sexually assaulted himself and whether he or any of the other men have addressed it with her directly?

Because they enjoy it and don’t actually want it to stop?

OP’s DP has told her that if she addresses it, the male members of the team won’t like her and will think she is uptight.

This is clearly not sexual assault at all, but some sort of weird mutually enjoyable polygyny where the men get regular sexual favours from her, occasionally interrupted when their “uptight” wives “spoil their fun”.

It's his mate, however you feel about her.
That's controlling to try and not him invite her.
It's his wedding too, you'd only need to talk to her.

This wedding…. I’m guessing very big, there will be massive drinking involved before wedding proceedings even begin, loads of staggering around pissed, couple arguing (inc the bride and groom), at least one screaming match (perhaps MOH and bride?) finally ending up in a brawl in the car park amongst some of the groom’s sports mates.

oh and quite possibly a cat fight between the bride and this friend.

the groom will pass out outside the honeymoon suite door, the bride will be too busy cleaning up the wounds from the aforementioned cat fight

the hotel will later invoice the couple £3000 to cover damages incurred by the guests.

This woman sounds completely hideous. However excluding one person from a wedding is a very big deal and frankly I wouldn’t do it.

It’s not difficult to not invite someone to your wedding and the other wives and girlfriends won’t find it difficult her not being there. Everyone will be able to relax, not be on edge for her antics to start and not have to have anyone “primed” for when her bad behaviour starts

but why should the Op do this? her wedding day should be a day of joy and celebration, not a time for dealing with a Handsy Hannah.

Agree - I usually see ‘pick me’ used against women who commit such crimes as being into sports, enjoy drinking pints or laughing at rude jokes. If this woman is really touching men’s arses without consent then that’s sexual assault - have any of the men involved raised it as an issue with her?

It would be difficult if the rest of the team are invited. Will their partners be there too? Maybe she won’t do it in front of her dh

I would say you need a lot of friends and family primed in case she does anything to

Look horrified/shocked

Exclaim loudly ‘oh my God, look what she’s doing’

Say to her face ‘what is wrong with you’ ‘that is highly inappropriate’ etc

Maybe if she sees it’s wrong in many peoples eyes it will get it through her skull…

Even if she doesn't sexually assault anyone at the wedding, OP doesn't want her there because she doesn't like her.

This is perfectly acceptable and reasonable and if she is the only one in the team left out, maybe she will reflect on that. Maybe she won't give a shit.

But it's a great example of FAFO

I'm team OP. That woman would not be attending my wedding. Not happening. End of.

She knows you don't like her so probably won't be surprised to not be invited. I'm sure the other blokes wives won't be surprised either.
If it was a man behaving like this it wouldn't even be a question.

Tell your fiance straight

I intensively dislike her behaviour & I wouldn’t want that at my wedding, she is your friend but I’m not extending her an invitation.

if he tries to defend her behaviour- that’s fine when she is with you and your mates but she is not ruining our day with her antics, that don’t mean anything but upset people

What's her husband's take on all this? Does he see this behaviour?