Don’t want Pick Me at our wedding

This principle doesn’t apply to actual molesters

I like all my husbands friends and I get on with their wives on a superficial level. Her behaviour is entirely inappropriate and someone needs to stop her. If it was reversed their could absolutely be calls of assault.

It’s your wedding. I wouldn’t have someone who I actively hate at my wedding.

A sexual assault, as well as a scene.

Why invite someone to an event as important as your wedding who can't be trusted to not sexually assault other guests? In fact, who can be guaranteed to commit a sexual assault!

Delete, misread something.

Obvious answer she doesn't get an invited -

Your husband's friend sounds more like a gay male than a pickmeisha.
Is there something you're not telling us, OP?

It's not random men though is it. It's men that are her team mates, who socialise with her, who want to invite her to their weddings. Nobody would invite their sexual assailant to their wedding. There is only one incident of objection and that was when it was prompted the OP. Would I want her at my wedding absolutely not, do I think she is inappropriate absolutely, do I think these men could have easily put a stop to it, yes.

OP She might assault some poor unsuspecting man and give him a fright!! She is a loose cannon. Just say to DH this woman could ruin the whole wedding for you (and others too). She will set the wrong tone completely- instead of love and romance you will have sleaze and crudeness. - If she is inclined to dominate the room, everyone will be aware of her behaviour. If need be - tell DH her invite got lost in post. I remember someone using that as an excuse long ago and it seem to work!

OP - just say NO, she is not coming. Put your foot down. I think your attitude is exactly right, you dont like her and you dont care. Let HER worry about her behaviour and its consequences.

This. Don’t call other women “pick me”s it’s misogynistic. You sound very jealous, she’s done this once since you’ve been together and she apologised afterwards when you said it offended you. It was 3 years ago, Let it go.

Fucking hell, I hate people like that. This, for me, goes into the same bin as "work wife" and "best female friend I've known for ages".

Some "smart and adult" females might think I'm stupid but seriously, fuck this shit. Its offensive. What if I had a male friend who grabbed my arse all the time? Makes me think about that Woody Allen film about Paris, where main character had no idea his fiancé was having an affair with her male "best friend".

And her husband? How does he feel about his wife groping other men?

If you made it clear there would be no wedding with her present, would there be a wedding?

Yeah, I have to say that the wedding may not be such a good idea if he's more worried about how it might look to his friends (or just this one idiot woman) than how his bride-to-be feels.

Many (most) people don't invite all their friends or extended family to their wedding. There's no reason this woman has to come, if OP has such strong, negative feelings about her, regardless of how long her fiance has known her. I'd be disgusted that the fiance and the others being groped have put up with this for so long. I'd wonder if they actually like it.

I actually wouldn’t get married if he is do insistent that she comes to the wedding - maybe a bit extreme, but the day would be ruined by not only her behaviour, but also his disregard for your wishes.

Failing that, do you have any bolshy friends/bridesmaids etc to keep an eye on things/firmly put her in her place if she starts her usual tricks?

Why should op invite someone who doesn't respect her or her relationship?

Why should anyone invite a sex pest to their wedding?

He’s inviting every single person in the sports club ?

I think you’re being unreasonable to not invite her, seeing as she’s been his friend since primary school. But your fiancé would not to unreasonable to tell all his friends - so no one can claim he singled her out - that they need to behave more formally at the wedding and not drink too much, grab arses, and whatever other less-than-wedding-appropriate behavior they might do.

So on the biggest day of your life he would rather make you unhappy than upset her? That says a lot.

The longer this woman is allowed to carry on unchallenged the worse her behaviour will become.
Just imagine her being at the wedding reception, circulating amongst the men and grabbing every arse she wants to grope…….brides father, grandfather, uncles,………there would potentially be countless gentlemen who certainly wouldn’t see the funny side of her unwelcome advances. She has no filters and her actions are definitely not funny! No way would I be inviting her to my wedding and I would make damn sure that her ‘friends’ knew why she was excluded.
She could eventually find herself on the end of court proceedings.

I would have said "Sexual assault will do that. Offend people, that is. I think it can also have you arrested when I report your sexual harassment and assault to the police." Really put the wind up her.

Yes but grabbing random arses is sexual assault. Not what you want at your wedding.

It smacks of quite the opposite. OP says the response to this is: 'He says she’s just always been like it. It’s how she is and it doesn’t mean anything'. This is quite the turnaround. It's usually men who are given a free pass whilst the (usually) women on the receiving end are expected to put up and shut up.

Also, it does mean something. It means she's a sexually inappropriate creep. This isn't 'pick me' behaviour - that's minimising it IMO OP - this is a woman who habitually sexually assaults men for shits and giggles, just as it would be if a man indulged in similar behaviour against women.

If men who engage in this manner of act are misogynists - treating women's bodies as pieces of meat and violating their personal boundaries as though they have the right - what does that make her?

That's 'just the way she is', fiance says? Well, the correct response to that is 'Well, this is just the way I am. I refuse to have her anywhere around me, and that includes at our wedding. She's a liability that I'm not willing to inflict on others'.

If only for the comfort and wellbeing of every invitee, a gropey, slimy, creepy Uncle would not make his way onto my guest list. Neither would she.